my grandmother is 86 and comes to stay with us a few times a month for a few days at a time...it's hard for her to take care of herself these days so we do what we can to help out...having her over to feed her a good meal, get what she needs from the store etc. isn't a problem...but to be honest i dread going to pick her up because, well, she reeks...i live in texas so it's particularly bad this time of year (more sweating and too hot to roll the windows down)...we make sure she gets a bath when she's here and i've been told soap was used...but even after the bath her odor persists (though not quite as pungent thankfully)...

can any of you relate to this at all???
any ideas about how to address this with her???

Wow thats low.....she's 86 man! I hope to still wipe my own ass at 86!!! It sounds like you are lucky she has the health that she has. Many people dont make it that old and if they do they are out of there mind or very disabled. Treasure the time you have with her.

Wait wait wait - just regular body odor? Pfft, when I'm 86 I'll be happy if I'd be able to put my socks on still, let alone worry about the finer points of hygeine. Hell I'll be happy to still be alive which is doubtful. Body odor, big whoop. I work with hard core alcoholics that reak worse than rotting fish guts - I have to deal with them, and never mention it because I doubt I can change their life style.... but that degree of BO is life style induced. Your grandmother is 86 years old, that's not life style, that's flat out LIFE induced.

Congratz btw, you know what to next expect from your parents, and also... to expect from yourself. You get old, deodorant isn't always the highest importance in life... you know, breathing is. Such is one of many glorious and rarely appriciated aspects of being old. You hope people respect you to overlook overly small details. You may not think it's small, but in the grand scheme of things - who cares?

Do you know how many terror stories circulate around the 6 a.m. breakfast crowd at Bob Evans about old so-and-so slipped in the bathtub/shower and broke their hip? If I was that old, I'd be terrified to go anywhere near a bathtub/shower.

I say, cut her a break. At the age of 86, her sense of smell isn't what it used to be and she may think she's fine. Shoot, I find that the older I get, I don't mind skipping a shower on a Sunday if I know I'm not leaving the house.

(....might have something to do with as you get older, the more thrifty you get...)

just thought there might be somebody out there who had geriatric knowledge/experience that could offer some insight...no need to get bent out of shape...

and i do treasure the time i have with her...most people wouldn't take their elders into their home on anything like a consistent basis...they'd rather stick them in a f 'n nursing home...the only reason she hasn't moved in with us is because she doesn't want to...we've asked her several times already...so dismount that high horse...

Quote: Originally Posted by mazura so dismount that high horse...

You dont want Iateronmly and I to get down from the horses.....trust me.

i'm shaking on the inside...

Quote: Originally Posted by mazura i'm shaking on the inside...

*mutter* I hate mentioning some things in this world for various reasons. I rarely talk about my grandfather after his stroke because of how crippled left him, mentally and physically. He begged me to kill him every day for 2 years. I really should have... if the roles were reversed, I'd have hoped he would too. In that respect I s'pose I failed him... that's my own issue to contemplate.

I was cursed at, spit at, puked on.. that's all fine and well, he had a stroke and was suffering dillusions. Now for the disgusting part, a thing I doubt you'd understand. I also changed his crap filled depends, and applied vaseline to his crotch every other visit it seemed because the nursing staff felt it was just to disgusting, and somehow thought postponing it to the next shift change was the thing to do. One of my brothers died, I didn't cry. Four friends have died I never shed a single tear. The man that visiting caused me to grimace, caused me to cry the day he died.

DO NOT GIVE ME A ****ING LINE OF PATHETIC **** ABOUT BODY ODOR. Your nasal cavety is offended by a god damn scent? Damn right I'm on a high horse, and you're not even worth it's time to crap on. You want...

Quote: Originally Posted by mazura geriatric knowledge/experience that could offer some insight...

Here you go - you get old, things go awry. You sure as hell hope your own children and grandchildren have the common god given curtesy not to talk about your hygeine with the world. I pray I never have a child or grandchild like you, otherwise I in turn shall pray to die an early and swift death.

Neg rep me back, please. Nothing would give me more pleasure than to have a perm mark to know I irked someone like you.

Dude, you need to grow-up some............................you haven't delt with $hit yet................When I was running security at the hospital up in Michigan, I delt with 800 lb. people who didn't take care of themselves for years...............dealing with people coming in covered in their own fecal and vomit..............dealing with the dead in the morgue................and that was on a daily basis for almost 5 years.......

It's a part of life........get used to it.........

Quote: Originally Posted by mazura i'm shaking on the inside...

Ghost Riders In The Sky

Lyrics: Stan Jones
Music: Stan Jones

An old cowpoke went out on a dark and windy day
Upon a ridge he rested as he went along his way
When all at once a mighty herd of red-eyed cows he saw
A-plowing through the ragged sky and up a cloudy draw
Yipppie aye-aaa, yippie aye-ooh, ghost herd in the sky

Their brands were still on fire and their hooves were made of steel
Their horns wer black and shining and their hot breath he could feel
A bolt of fear went through him as they thundered through the sky
For he saw the riders coming hard and he heard their mournful cry
Yippie-aye-aaa, yippie-aye-ooh, ghost riders in the sky

Their faces gaunt their eyes were blurred and shirts all soaked with sweat
They're riding hard to catch that head but they ain't caught them yet
'Cause they've got to ride forever on that range up in the sky
On horses snorting as they ride and hear their awful cry
Yippie-aye-aaa, yippie-aye-ooh, ghost riders in the sky

As the riders loped on by him he heard one call his name
If you want to save your soul from hell a-riding on our range
Then cowboy change your ways today or with us you will ride
A-trying to catch the devil's herd across these endless skies
Yippie-aye-aaa, yippie-aye-ooh, ghost riders in the sky


I like Cheese and mushrooms on my pizza.

Now serving #92758

Sir please take a number and stand in line.

Quote: Originally Posted by mazura i'm shaking on the inside...

You better be. Your going to be there before you know it. Fool !

Ya know I've read some straight up STUPID things in my time , but to critisize an 86yr old person for body oder, and on top of that yer own KIN !!! that aint nothin' but disrespectful any way ya look at it.

I'm 38, I lost my grandma a long time back and I'd take all the smelles in the world just to have her back in my life. Instead of finding her smell offencive , you might try ignoreing that minor detail and learning a bit from someone who has managed to actually live almost 100 years , i'm betting she's seen things us young pup's can only wish we were around for.

reading your post , makes me relize why the saying " Youth is wasted on the young " is quite true

As for shakin' and climbin down off high horses............. ya might wanna rethink who yer crossin'

Quote: Originally Posted by mazura my grandmother is 86 and comes to stay with us a few times a month for a few days at a time...it's hard for her to take care of herself these days so we do what we can to help out...having her over to feed her a good meal, get what she needs from the store etc. isn't a problem...but to be honest i dread going to pick her up because, well, she reeks...i live in texas so it's particularly bad this time of year (more sweating and too hot to roll the windows down)...we make sure she gets a bath when she's here and i've been told soap was used...but even after the bath her odor persists (though not quite as pungent thankfully)... can any of you relate to this at all??? any ideas about how to address this with her???

OK. I'm OK! Dude, what you do is get a nice shower seat and put it where the water comes right
down on her. If you can't wash her with your eyes closed...LOL

Quote: Originally Posted by mazura i'm shaking on the inside...

You sir, are an ass.
And a very small minded immature one at that.

Bad monkey.

Well it seems you have offended some people with your coments....Duh!

This must be your first time in dealing with elders? It has to be, because running a hotel we get them all the time. I don't know if its the lack of takin a shower or just the natural odor someone gives off at that age. It would seem the older they get the more intense the odor....

To me it seems like Death is following them.

To me its a sad thought, but you know what? They are alive and still fighting to to stay alive. Either to see there grand kids, kids, brothers or even friends and fighting to keep those memories. Yeah I know some elders get pissy when they get older and some don't sometimes, they just don't know and some are on that high horse expecting the world.

I guess what I'm try'n to get at here is the plain and simple fact is that they had there time here on earth and "Have been there" before you and I, the best thing you can do is respect them.

.....as to the sh!t that is being said...yeah its a little harsh....not everybody has good things to say...some of us don't give a rats a$$....just think about what you say. You could have ended your opening statement with asking if this odor was normal not "how can I address this with her."

After some more thought on this subject...the bottom line is...DO you love your grandma? Yeah I thought so. DO what you can to help her and show her that someone does care about her. This is the best thing you can do no matter what!

Quote: Originally Posted by mazura I'm shaking on the inside...

hahahhaha,

Well little butt wort, I'll love to see you do any better at the ripe old age of 86. I show you no respect in this post, because by no means have you earned any. Respect is hard earned and your grandmother I say has earned it by putting up with this world for so long. Well I don't want to waste too much typing you, wish you the best in your life lesson hopefully learned today.

grow up son....

-BB

Quote: Originally Posted by RBIEZE You sir, are an ass. And a very small minded immature one at that. Bad monkey.

I could not of said that any better RBIEZE you hit that right on the nose..

people like this should be glad they have grand parents that live to be that age and should giive them a lot more respect and understanding and not put them down.

mazura that is just plain wrong to say bad things about your grandmother and you should not talk about your grandmother like that you need to give her more respect.

The best way you can address this issue is addressing it with yourself... think about how you would make her feel by bringing it up.... if you dont listen to anything else on this thread... understand this.. you would humiliate her... make her wish she was dead probably.... Think about it this way... hmmm how can I put this so you will understand... what would you do if say... you mom.... or your girlfriend came up to you... and said you stink and I dont like being around you cause you stink... play it out in your mind... wouldnt feel to good huh.... Now your still young and can get past such things.. you can move on... start taking a shower regularly and eleminate the issue... Your grandmother on ther other hand can not.. Just think about it man.. This was not to flame or talk down to you.. just to try and get you to understand the feelings you are thinking about stiring up.. and if you think your grandmother has an odor... just stir that pot of **** and see what it smells like in the end....

While you're right, Twizted, I think you're being far too kind... Then again, I'm probably being too kind by not -rep slapping this twit for being an asshat while I'm at it...

As to the little punk who started this thread, I can only hope that when you get as old as your grandmother, IF you manage to live that long, you develop the same sort of BO problems, and someone as rude as quite a few of your contemporaries, if not more so, walks up, takes a whiff of your bouquet, and smarts off with something nice and tangy, you know, something with enough sting to make you bump up those arrangements for a dirt nap...

Like HTRN, I would give anything in the world, go through anything in the world to have all the friends and relatives I've lost in my lifetime back, even if for but a moment. You need to pull your head out of your fourth point of contact and realize that something that petty is insignificant (or should be), if you TRULY love your grandmother as you say you do. Cherish the moments you have with her, soon they may be nothing more than memories...

**** dude.

I got one grandma left, and she flew 8 hours to see me graduate. She's staying with us for a month. She's legally blind, she's diabetic, she's frail, and I'd bend over backwards for her.

Grow up, be lucky she is still with you and hope that you never come to that age where your grandkids mock you on a public internet forum.