So the old saying. Im completly positive its true. I look around in my band, my friends, and i relize just how much it is true. I seem to one of the few rare "nice guys" around our group. Yet i never find anyone. And i know most of you will say "Your young you have plenty of time" but it seems that 4 years of dating has tought me enough. I look at some of my friends, and see that their complete dicks. Cheating, lieing, verbally abusive. And yet they always get the girl. It got to the point of me almost fighting my lead singer of my band because of him hurting one of my close friends which also happens to be his girl. He had made alot of mistakes and i tryed to forgive untill he made the worst one he could have. Yet she took him back after 6 times of it. Why?

My other friend for example lied to his girlfriend for a year about going into the military, then told her and she dumped him. I stood up for her because she is also someone ive known for years since we were kids. What happened? I lost one of my best friends, and the drummer in my band. Why is it that the nice ones always pay? Im just not quite sure. I would never do anything like these dicks do to girls yet they always pick them. Maybe they just want a badass, im not sure. It makes no sence to me.

Well this my friends is to the guys that open the doors for girls, give them your jacket when their cold, walk them home, take care of them while their sick, buy them flowers just because, hold their hair why they puke(lol), stand up for them in times of trouble, and are there for them in their time of need. To the nice guys.

People that are nice to others and give a helping hand will be blessed.If you screw others then you will get screwed its an endless cycle.Do not live life knowing you were not a GOOD person.Jo

I know this thread is a little old but man, I couldnt agree more with what your saying. Im almost positive that Kratos would agree with this, too.
[Im not going to talk too long about this cause I already went on and on and on in the Piss and Moan thread about this] So there's this girl I know, well, actually like a lot and we're pretty close. Shes already gone out with these two people who I wouldnt call the nice guys (actually, they robbed four gas stations at gun point, threatening to kill the clerks, they were 14 when they did that). things didnt work out half happy in both cases, she was soo upset both times which is actually one of the reasons we're as clsoe as we are. but its not inching a milietre further.
Now me, Ive told the people working at stores when they've given me an extra dollar in my change and such and most of the time I blow at my friends when they litter.
I know people whove gotten a much better mark on a book report than me and they didn't even read the book.

Yup, i'm a nice guy...but unfortunealty it seems tons of girls go for the preppy beefed-up meathead rather than the caring guy with a nice heart. There's some out there...

There is one thing that I've learned over my many years...

There is no such thing as a "nice guy". What you should really call them is "pushovers". Yeah, that's right. Pushovers.

Why?

There are many, many, many women in this world looking for the type of guy that you think you are (the "nice guy"). Only problem is, there's something wired wrong in their brain that doesn't attract them to these kinds of girls. They are treated as just friends while the "nice guy" is still going after the girl with the self-destructive behavior.

"Nice guys" view themselves as heroes...wearing a suit of armor and riding up on a white horse to "save" the damsel in distress. Unfortunately, even if they do land this type of girl, they wind up getting sh*t upon, mentally, physically, and psychologically. These damsels will use and abuse you, and finally in the end, wind up dumping you to go after the bad boy again.

Yet, there is a girl in their lives right now just dying to start a relationship with them. However, the "nice guy" sees them as a buddy or a good friend and never as a potential love interest. Then, a few years down the road when this good friend is married off, you realize that you made a big mistake in not snatching up that prize.

Being a "nice guy" is nothing more than being wrapped up in your own self-destruction.

I'm not talking about being a d*ck like those other guys. What I'm talking about is to give up on the girl that needs to be saved and offer them friendship instead. Go after that friend...you'll be glad you did.

How do I know all this?

I used to be a "nice guy" and wasted over ten years of my life on two different women that I thought needed saving while my beautiful friends went off and got married. It's not a nice place to be in life right now, but it's the lot that I dealt myself and trying hard to correct.

Rob

Instead of being a nice guy, how about just a do the right thing guy. Just do what is right. Sometimes that may mean bending laws, hurting feelings, or pissing people off. Usually it involves helping, supporting, and fun. It ain't easy but instead of being nice, just do what's right.

Quote: Originally Posted by BigAkita It ain't easy but instead of being nice, just do what's right.

Truer words could not have been spoken.

My friend turned me on to this:

The Ladder theory and Intellectual Whores
(women want nice guys only as friends)

i think BA and ROB said some of of the smartest things ive heard in years. Seriously. Rob just turned my thoughts compeltly upside down.

Quote: Originally Posted by mot19 So the old saying. Im completly positive its true. I look around in my band, my friends, and i relize just how much it is true. I seem to one of the few rare "nice guys" around our group. Yet i never find anyone. And i know most of you will say "Your young you have plenty of time" but it seems that 4 years of dating has tought me enough. I look at some of my friends, and see that their complete dicks. Cheating, lieing, verbally abusive. And yet they always get the girl. It got to the point of me almost fighting my lead singer of my band because of him hurting one of my close friends which also happens to be his girl. He had made alot of mistakes and i tryed to forgive untill he made the worst one he could have. Yet she took him back after 6 times of it. Why? My other friend for example lied to his girlfriend for a year about going into the military, then told her and she dumped him. I stood up for her because she is also someone ive known for years since we were kids. What happened? I lost one of my best friends, and the drummer in my band. Why is it that the nice ones always pay? Im just not quite sure. I would never do anything like these dicks do to girls yet they always pick them. Maybe they just want a badass, im not sure. It makes no sence to me. Well this my friends is to the guys that open the doors for girls, give them your jacket when their cold, walk them home, take care of them while their sick, buy them flowers just because, hold their hair why they puke(lol), stand up for them in times of trouble, and are there for them in their time of need. To the nice guys.

in addition to the very good advice given from the male perspective, if I may let me offer one or two insights from the female side.

The girls you mention as examples have low self-esteem, and make poor choices. I would suspect not only in men. They feel they cannot do better than the loser who treats them bad, so they will usually stick with him no matter what he does, or how he treats them. Also some would rather be with a man for the wrong reasons, than to be alone for the right ones.

Just a look from the other side of the mirror.

If you read what you said and how you described them to use (ie, you called them dicks) which means your more mature than they are, Thus equally mature women (I should say immature..) go after the bad guys. So it may not be that your nice, it may just be you havent found the right (or equally mature) person yet...

Although, I kinda wonder how Every chick in college can have a Bf O.o (I dont know it as a fact, but it seems from the side convo's Ive heard that they all do, and No, Im not going for that, "Oh they just say that for attention crap..") Ive also learned that relationships in highschool are more likely to fail, than if you had one in college.

Quote: Originally Posted by Foe in addition to the very good advice given from the male perspective, if I may let me offer one or two insights from the female side. The girls you mention as examples have low self-esteem, and make poor choices. I would suspect not only in men. They feel they cannot do better than the loser who treats them bad, so they will usually stick with him no matter what he does, or how he treats them. Also some would rather be with a man for the wrong reasons, than to be alone for the right ones. Just a look from the other side of the mirror.

I think you may have just hit the nail on the head here, Foe. Your first two "qualities" or characteristics seem odly familiar to me, but I never concidered they - or she - might not begin to think that they could do any better than a(nother) destructive personality.

everyone, this is really awsome stuff, thank you
Gzim, your link is wonderful sadly wonderful! Sorry, I have to spread rep around before i can give to you

EDIT - Darn! It appears Ive been in "Scenario 2"

Quote: Originally Posted by mot19 i think BA and ROB said some of of the smartest things ive heard in years. Seriously. Rob just turned my thoughts compeltly upside down.

I like to refer to it as my FGS, or "Forrest Gump Syndrome".

Remember the movie? Forrest did everything he could to love Jenny, but she was bent on a self-destructive path. She only came back to him when things weren't working out so hot for her, then ran away again when she got her bearings. He did get her in the end, but not for very long.

NOTE: I almost think that it was arranged that way to show us that Jenny didn't care for Forrest like everyone thought she did, but rather did it so that her son would have a parent to raise him. If she didn't have AIDS, I wonder what would have happened. After all, the kid was five years old before she contacted Forrest.

So, back on topic.

Rob

Usually people confuse "nice" with "timid".

Nice comment, DASQ!
I just found this while looking for pictures of the deformed cat.
http://channels.netscape.com/love/fl...game=goodgirls

Here are the ones I thought were good, just incase the link goes down

1. They make us feel incredible when they do pay attention to us. The little things matter so much more

Ok, more like one good one, imho.

You were looking.. for... deformed cats?!

I would be considered one of the "nice guys", I'm exactly the kind of guy you described, of my closest friends, 80% of them are female. And I DID get the girl, she's stuck with me for over a year now. Nice guys finish last? I think not. If you're trying to get in a girls good books, there's nothing better than being there for her when she needs someone, even if it's just as a friend.

Quote: Originally Posted by DASQ You were looking.. for... deformed cats?!

He was probably looking for pictures of that single eyed cat Cyclops that was born in Oregon that they're now putting a "Creationist" museum stuffed.

http://www.editorandpublisher.com/ea..._id=1001841912

Now this is kind of intresting. I had a physics test yesterday and I did study a bit during the weekend. When I got to school, my friends had a copy of the test with all the correct answers. Ive never cheated on a test before, but what the heck, I thought. So we went in with the sheets in our desks and answers on our hands.
I got two answers incorrect, but those were ones where I thought the sheet was wrong, so thats my fault.
No one got caught. There's something very wrong here and I think it might have to do with everything in this stinking world being completely dumb.

I'm not sure what that physics test had to do with anything but here is what I have to say: Don't worry about trying to classify yourself as the nice guy or the bad boy! Just be yourself around everyone, go out there have fun with your friends, and the girl who truly likes you for who you are will show up eventually, so yeah, just don't try to be someone, just be YOU! Hey you might just find her where you're not even looking!

Quote: Originally Posted by RedRozeWolF I'm not sure what that physics test had to do with anything but here is what I have to say: Don't worry about trying to classify yourself as the nice guy or the bad boy! Just be yourself around everyone, go out there have fun with your friends, and the girl who truly likes you for who you are will show up eventually, so yeah, just don't try to be someone, just be YOU! Hey you might just find her where you're not even looking!

Yeah, I know everyone's supposed to be their selfs.
I thought that the physics test was intresting because as of now, there have been no negative consiquences.
I know the person Ive been biatching about isnt for me. Just last night I was talking to her on msn, got very, very upset about what she said and I went to bed around 6pm.
Meha...