If you’ve got the attention span of a goldfish, you should skip to the end


After having a “red” ’88 Ford Sierra Sapphire that turned out to be nearly pink once the red polish had washed off, and got increasingly pink over the five years or so I had it, I swore I would never have another red car.

Just why red paint seems to fade so badly isn’t entirely clear – I’ve seen at least three explanations.
Firstly, apparently red is a “floating” pigment, where (predictably enough), the pigment “floats” to the top/outside of the paint, where polishing removes it, allowing the white undercoat to become more and more visible. The problem with this is that red isn’t a primary colour, being instead a mix of yellow and magenta pigments.

The second explanation is that red is that it oxidises, but to be honest I find this a little hard to believe, apart from the very rare occasions I’ve seen red fade to a reddish brown … and that was on a Fiat, so it could’ve been rust.

The third explanation is that has very poor UV resistance … I don’t buy that either – if red has very poor UV resistance, it’s made up of yellow & magenta pigments, so you’d expect yellow, blue, green and black cars to have a similar problem, although to different extents. Though I’ve seen similar fading on yellow cars (like the Renault 12 I had back in the day), which fades to a sort of khaki colour, I can’t say I’ve seen it on any other colours. Remember I’m talking about the UK here – I know _everything_ fades in southern California, where there’s only been one cloudy day since WWII



Anyway, I digress … having sworn I’d never get another red car, you can guess what colour my ’93 Citroen ZX turbodiesel was, can’t you? That car lasted 18 months before an unfortunate everything-up-to-the-A-pillars/Armco-crash-barrier interface scenario.


Having had two red cars back to back, I _definitely_ wasn’t going to get another red car … until a ikkle ’93 Renault Clio dieseasel became my cheap/easy replacement for the totalled Citroen. That went to the great scrapyard in the sky just under a year later when the cost of keeping it going would have been nearly four times what the car cost … I did actually see that car on the road again twice a couple of years later, well, the second time it was on its side in a ditch at the side of the road, but you know what I mean.


That made three red cars in a row, so I _swore_ the next one … I guess you’re seeing the pattern here … so yes, my ’97 Rover 400S was of course red, though this time it was at least a metallic shade with the somewhat implausible name of “nightfire”. I blame my limited 2k GBP budget & not seeing anything else that wasn't a total POS.

Three years further on & the Rover had got a little tired, and I’d got fed up of the poor fuel economy/performance ratio & lack of headroom & carrying space. I can live with 30mpg or so, if I’m getting around at a fairly quick pace, but with my daily commute at an average speed of less than 30mph, it sucks.

Having a bit more money behind me this time (4k GBP) should have meant I’d have a much greater a choice of cars, so I’d have no problems finding something that ticked all my boxes – it would have to be a 2001 or newer, have 5 doors, 10 seconds or less from 0-60, relatively sensible insurance costs, aircon, enough headroom, and a seat that was adjustable enough that it wasn’t going to make my back worse, and of course, NOT BE RED!


Well, that was the plan … but it looks as though you currently need to have about 5,500 – 6k GBP around here to get a car that doesn’t look as though its been used as a chicken coop at any point in its life, unless you want to go for something really, really obscure – a Dutch-built Mitsubishi Space Star, anyone? Just like last time, I had to go for the first thing that had most of the attributes I wanted & hadn’t been abused and/or neglected. In the end, I think I did pretty well, ticking all the boxes, except one …





So … can you guess what colour my new car is?






Stupid question … of course it’s bloody red

It’s a 2002 Ford Mondeo 2 litre turbo, though I do have to admit that, once again, I’ve turned to the dark side - it runs on diesel
It’s “only” 113bhp with a quoted top speed of 121mph, but 207lb/ft torque is supposed to propel it from 0-60 in 9.5 seconds, and allegedly return 47mpg.
It’s a “Ghia X” model, which means metallic paint (in this case, “Pepper Red”), alloys, aircon, electric everything, and a full leather interior. Spank me!






Yep, that’s a car all right…




… but that’s not an engine – that’s a lump of plastic. Give me a engine I can see & a pair of SU carbs any day



Probably two cows lost their lives here … and all I’m thinking is “I wonder what it would feel like if I drove naked?”












Just as a footnote, the badges on the rear (“Mondeo” and “Ghia X”) are made up of individual letters, which means they could be rearranged …
Hitting up the Internet Anagram Server for inspiration yielded a long list … my favourites were “Hide Among Ox”, “Had Ex Mooing” and “Doing Ho Exam”.

“Maxi Dong Hoe” is one just for other people’s cars

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Jonny:

As one of your dear friends at PcApex [and I say that with complete disregard for the facts], it's obvious you need help.

RCA is Red Cars Anonymous and I'm sure there is a location near you. Attend a meeting. You are not alone.

And only by acknowledging that you have a problem can you get on the road to recovery.

A road without red cars.

-MF

When I went car shopping for my car, my only preference about the color was that it wasn't red. Well... my car is GM torch red... I understand...

Modern red pigment is a man made crystal and it's a bit less dense and stable than some other colors. Part of the crystal structure can photo chemically degrade over time if it isn't assembled correctly. It neither turns brown or white or anything else, it simply fades and the color of whatever primer was used shows through. Fortunately, most quality modern reds are more stable than older reds.

Older ferrous based reds oxidized, but not a brown rust, they turned white. Aluminum based silvers did the same thing. I still see this on cheap cars like Kia's. 80's Mitsubishi's were famous for it.

I've got a red car, fortunately it's an Acura and seems to be holding up well even in Phoenix weather.