Looking for new joke material for a best friend's son who's getting married for the second time. At his first wedding, with my hand on the shoulders of the future bride and groom and after soom very serious congratulations and kudos, I used:
Tomorrow will be a very special day for the two of you and as you are standing at the altar, you will be saying some very special words to one another including love, honor and obey. I would like to propose a toast to "honor." Would all join me by raising your glasses. "Here's to honor! Get honor, stay honor and if you fall off, get back honor." (Of course pronounced like onher.)
Does anyone have material I could use for the second round????

First off. Welcome to pimprig.

Secondly...why yes, I do have a joke.
Setup for the joke.
1. coffee can or similar metal container.
2. lots of keys.

Steps for joke:
prep work.
1. Give a bunch of keys to a lot of guys (all but one key) and tell them when ask, to bring their keys forward and put them in the can.
2. Give the remaining key to some old, good heart, girl and tell her the same thing.

actual joke.
When giving your toast to the bride and groom, mentioned that since they are getting married they need all of their "Spare" (do the double quotes with your hands and highlight the word 'spare') house keys back. First ask for all of the guys to return their keys to her. Which brings a lot of laughs. Then ask all of the ladies to return their keys to him...which only the little old lady will have and do, which brings even more laughs.

Mission accomplished.

We took my cousin's shoes and, without him knowing it, painted "HELP" on the bottom of the left shoe and "ME!" on the bottom on the right shoe. When they knelt for prayer, the whole church busted out laughing.

H
E-------M
L-------E
P-------!

Rob

I've seen the keys thing done - it's even a litle funnier if you've got a coupla of hot lipstick lesbian to return "her" keys as well.

-MF

Quote: Originally Posted by bosshog44 Looking for new joke material for a best friend's son who's getting married for the second time.

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Best one I've seen was this friend who had 7 groomsmen. Each one came down the aisle and shook hands w/the groom. We noticed that his ears kept getting redder and redder, and he would put his hand in his pocket in between groomsmen.

Turns out they each had palmed condoms and were passing them to the groom in front of everyone. What's worse, they were the 2XL versions that were only barely able to fit in a palm.

On a related note, my sister got married this past weekend. She's a bit high strung, and we knew that if she started crying at any point, it was all over. So, when the doors opened, and the bride and her father were first seen by the crowd, and the wedding march is supposed to start, we bribed the musicians to play her college fight song. She hiccupped, laughed and cried the entire trip down the aisle. The pastor then said, "Dearly beloved, the halftime score of the UVA-VA Tech football game is . . ."

Quote: Originally Posted by bosshog44 Looking for new joke material for a best friend's son who's getting married for the second time. At his first wedding, with my hand on the shoulders of the future bride and groom and after soom very serious congratulations and kudos, I used: Tomorrow will be a very special day for the two of you and as you are standing at the altar, you will be saying some very special words to one another including love, honor and obey. I would like to propose a toast to "honor." Would all join me by raising your glasses. "Here's to honor! Get honor, stay honor and if you fall off, get back honor." (Of course pronounced like onher.) Does anyone have material I could use for the second round????

First of Welcome to PimpRig, bosshog44 so kick back and have a cold one it is going to be a good one.
Best wishes to your freind son and bride to be.

Say,

No one needs to call the love bugs for the next couple of days cause they will be busy (wink).

Best one I've received to date and I'll definitely use it. Thanks, Bosshog.

Quote: Originally Posted by TimberWolf First off. Welcome to pimprig. Secondly...why yes, I do have a joke. Setup for the joke. 1. coffee can or similar metal container. 2. lots of keys. Steps for joke: prep work. 1. Give a bunch of keys to a lot of guys (all but one key) and tell them when ask, to bring their keys forward and put them in the can. 2. Give the remaining key to some old, good heart, girl and tell her the same thing. actual joke. When giving your toast to the bride and groom, mentioned that since they are getting married they need all of their "Spare" (do the double quotes with your hands and highlight the word 'spare') house keys back. First ask for all of the guys to return their keys to her. Which brings a lot of laughs. Then ask all of the ladies to return their keys to him...which only the little old lady will have and do, which brings even more laughs. Mission accomplished.