25-January-05, 12:19 PM
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#1 (permalink)
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| |  For all you cubicle workers
Today's Woot! http://www.woot.com  | Quote: |  | | |  | Originally Posted by woot.com |  | | | | | | | | |
CubeSmart CubeDoor
If you could buy this and then turn in your TPS report - thatÂ’d be greeeeaaaat.
| | $19.99 | + $5 Shipping and Handling | |
| If your co-workers are anything like ours, itÂ’s probably easy for you to drift off into periods of reverie, daydreaming that youÂ’re pushing them down the fire stairs, or slamming the copier lid on their heads over and over and over and over and over.
Man, listen to that guy at the next desk trying to give out a URL over the phone.
“ItÂ’s dubya dubya dubya dot com, ford slash projects abbreviated, which is P-R-J-C-T-S, ford slash—no, T as in ‘ten.Â’ No, not ‘pen,Â’ ‘ten.Â’ Like the number. No, thereÂ’s no number, just a T. Ford slash—no, just one slash. The ford slash. ItÂ’s, uh, by the shift keyÂ…Ââ€
Why doesn’t he just tell people to go to the main page and click “projects?†If you played a tape of this at your assault trial, you’d get off for sure.
However; every minute you spend entertaining violent fantasies about strangling this doofus with his stiff polyester tie is a minute that would be better spent working.
Tune him out—and tactfully let the rest of your fellow office monkeys know you’re too busy to gab—by retreating behind your Cube Door. Take note: this is no crappy cardboard cut-out cube curtain! No, it’s made from NanoWeave, whatever that is.
Also included at no additional cost to you is one (1) Iomega Zip Monitor Mirror so you can keep an eye on those creeps alongside whom you labor. (Smile in your face, all the time they want to take your place.) Just like you check the side mirror before you open a car door, you are advised to check this Monitor Mirror before you open a porn window.
Features: When closed, co-workers can still see you, but the “BUSY†message is clear.
Takes just seconds to install, and starts working immediately
Made from NanoWeave™
Coverage area 40†wide x 36†tall
Metal roller frame/housing
Clinical trials expected to show CubeDoor reduces urges to “burn down the buildingÂâ€
Graphics are printed on only one side of CubeDoor - lettering disappears from inside of cube
Attaches securely to cubical wall
Keeps Lumbergh from taking your red swingline. mmmmkay?
Spring action stores partition out of the way when not in use
Fits most cubicle walls
You don’t have to be crazy to work here—but a lot of these freaks are, anyway.
Oh, and remember, next Friday is Hawaiian shirt day. So, you know, if you want to go ahead and wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans.
Each door shipped with: Installation instructions
Receiving clamp (for door latch)
Foam Spacers (for C-clamps)
CubeCord (for cubicle openings between 40†and 42†wide)
Two (2) different types of attachment mechanisms: Velcro for metal/smooth endcaps/surfaces and C-clamps for fabric endcaps*
*Our vendor recommends removing the clamps and using the Velcro, as—and this is a direct quote—“Wooters tend to squeeze the shaft too hard causing permanent damage to the unit.Ââ€
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