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| Daily Disturbance Articles from our entertaining editorial team. |
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05-June-06, 05:54 AM
| #1 (permalink) | |
| Eleven-Bravo Sitrep Writer  |  Kids Write the Darndest Things... Once again, it's my turn to contribute another post to the Daily Disturbance... Perhaps something witty, a departure from my usual serious, grumpy-old-fart material as of late... Unfortunately, I've been swamped at work and at home (you try to put together a truly memorable 3rd Birthday party for your child sometime, on only a couple hours' time...), so I figured I'd share something that my wife emailed me a couple weeks ago...Funny things kids say and write... If you need a laugh, then read through these Children's Science Exam answers. These are real answers from school kids... Enjoy! Q: Name the four seasons. A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar. Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink. A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists. Q: How is dew formed? A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire. Q: How can you delay milk turning sour? A: Keep it in the cow. Q: What causes the tides in the oceans? A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight. Q: What are steroids? A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs. Q: What happens to your body as you age? A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental. Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty? A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery. Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes. A: Premature death. Q: What is artificial insemination? A: When the farmer does it to the bull instead of the cow. Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.) A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U. A: A small lie. Q: What does "varicose" mean? A: Nearby. Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section" A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome. Q: What does the word "benign" mean?' A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.  | |
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05-June-06, 01:33 PM
| #3 (permalink) | |
| Apex Tech God  | Very cool. I've had some experiance with kids saying stuff like that. My favorite was when I told a kid his computer was frozen and he asked If I would warm it up for him. The kid was in accelerated World Geography. I think I went home and cried after that. Anyways very nice post Grandpa.  | |
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