I know I usually post these on friday, but last night was a long night lol And besides, Friday was only a few hours away anyways, so this counts for something!
So while I regain my orientation...Joke time! Enjoy

First one is subumitted by a buddy of mine


A little boy walks into his parents' room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down.
The mom quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen,dresses quickly and goes to find him.
The son sees his mom and asks, "What were you and dad doing?"
The mother replies, "Well, your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it."
"You're wasting your time." says the boy.
"Why is that?" asked his mom, puzzled?
"Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets
on her knees and blows it right back up!

and last one...



This farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster, and he wants chicks. So
he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster
which he would sell.

The other farmer says, "Yeah, I've this great rooster, named Randy.
He'll service every chicken you got, no problem."

Well, Randy the rooster costs a lot of money, but, farmer decides he'd
be worth it. So, he buys Randy and takes the rooster home. He then sets
him down in the barnyard and gives the rooster a pep talk, "Randy, I
want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service
here, and you cost me a lot of money. Consequently, I'll need you to do a
good job.
"So, take your time and have some fun," the farmer ended with a
chuckle.

Randy seemed to understand, so the farmer points toward the hen house,
and Randy took off like a shot.

WHAM! Randy nails every hen in the hen house three or four times, and
the farmer is really shocked.

After that the farmer hears a commotion in the duck pen, sure enough,
Randy is in there.

Later, the farmer sees Randy after the flock of geese down by the lake.
Once again, WHAM! He gets all the geese.

By sunset he sees Randy out in the fields chasing quail and pheasants.
The farmer is distraught -- worried that his expensive rooster won't
even last 24 hours.

Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next day to find
Randy dead as a doorknob -- stone cold in the middle of the yard and
buzzards are circling overhead.

The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful and expensive
animal, shakes his head and says, "Oh, Randy, I told you to pace yourself. I
tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself."

Randy opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling in the sky and
says, "SHHHH, they're getting closer..."



alrigh guys that's it! Since I can't go back to bed, I guess I better start knocking some stuff out. Have a great weekend!

Peaceout!

"they're getting closer..." LMAO!!!

and closer...

and closer...