The PimpRig Christmas Story

Iateronmly · 24-December-05, 03:35 PM

I posted this a year ago, but I figured I'd revise it a little and well like the true Christmas Story - it's always best after the 5th viewing Just like when you're watching Frosty The Snowman on CBS in your bean bag chair, eatting cheetos backing it with egg-nog.

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, except Clown's LED modded mouse.
The computer was glowin', the icons were hopping,
As a hapless n00b did last minute Internet shopping.

The stockings were hung by the 21" LCD monitor with care
In hope that St. Nicholas would bring new hardware.
The children were nestled all snug in their futons,
While visions of Doom4 danced in their heads.

Dremel for Spectrum, and DIY PSU Modulation kit for Phlak,
And a pre-mod for Pamela Ann (she was a bad kid)
The letters to Santa had been sent out by Mom,
To santaclaus@toyshop.northpole.com -

One of my hoes in her 'kerchief, and I in my fedora,
Had just settled down for a long winter's caffeine crash,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the foton to see what was the matter.
Away to computer I flew in a dash,
IM'd everyone I knew with "OMGWTF-BBQ'dKITTENS! Somethin' is here!".

The moon shaped window on my CoolerMaster
Gave the lustre of mid-day to all that was near,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
Why, a jovial ol' fat man with a big @$$ beard,

With a disc of old drivers, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. NoSlak
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name
"Now, Cascade! now, Danger Den! now, Antec and Cooler Master!
On, Blazer! on CPU-ID! on, AMD and Driver-haven!
To the top of the ranks! to the top of the ORB!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!"

He was dressed all in Zoot suit attire, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;
A bottle of FluidXP he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the reserviors; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside the power button and hit the switch!
And giving a nod, up the chimney he went;

He sprang to his Ford, to his crew gave a whistle,
And away they all flew down the road.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT"

Spectrum · 24-December-05, 03:38 PM

So how's Washington treating you?

Glad to have you back and making your DD posts.

Foe · 24-December-05, 04:41 PM

Excellent Iateronmly! Nice to have you back!

me_john85 · 24-December-05, 06:33 PM

the 24 hour marathon starts tonight at 8pm eastern, heh

ncgchlct · 24-December-05, 07:28 PM

very entertaining

jofultner · 24-December-05, 08:31 PM

It is so nice to have a great big laugh `tis season,Thanks Man,Jo

$SOLID$ Necro · 24-December-05, 09:51 PM

Well I have my PR sock hung by the Chimney, with hopes PimpSanta, will soon leave a FX-60 in der'

j-dogg · 24-December-05, 10:45 PM

IM'd everyone I knew with "OMGWTF-BBQ'dKITTENS! Somethin' is here!".

Iateronmly · 24-December-05, 11:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by j-dogg


	IM'd everyone I knew with "OMGWTF-BBQ'dKITTENS! Somethin' is here!".

*takes aim @ J-Dogg with his sniper rifle... exhales slowly... squeezes the trigger....*

BOOM HEADSHOT!

PHLAK · 24-December-05, 11:30 PM

Its great to have you back man! Its already been a crazy day on the net with you back!

j-dogg · 24-December-05, 11:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iateronmly


	takes aim @ J-Dogg with his sniper rifle... exhales slowly... squeezes the trigger.... BOOM HEADSHOT!

*strafes to the left at the last minute, and acquaint's Richards head with his Super Shock Rifle*

ULTRAKILL!!!!!!!1111one

Iateronmly · 24-December-05, 11:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PhLaKz'R


	Its great to have you back man! Its already been a crazy day on the net with you back!

It's so empty without me eh? Lack of controversy?

It's great to be back, it feels better than sex on an air mattress covered with shower gel.... err.. yah. Great to be back.

Spc. Forces Bob · 25-December-05, 02:05 AM

haha that was nice, the premod for the naughtie girl gave me a good chuckle

jofultner · 25-December-05, 02:14 AM

Oh I would have to think that all depends on with whom we are having (that)experience.lol,Jo

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iateronmly


	It's so empty without me eh? Lack of controversy? It's great to be back, it feels better than sex on an air mattress covered with shower gel.... err.. yah. Great to be back.

Wordbiker · 25-December-05, 11:26 AM

Geez...look who came in from the snow!

Welcome back Rich, and I hope you plan to stay a while. You've been scaring everyone, hiding out in the woods like Ted Kaszinsky...

me_john85 · 26-December-05, 02:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by $SOLID$ Necro


	Well I have my PR sock hung by the Chimney, with hopes PimpSanta, will soon leave a FX-60 in der'

So YOU have the sock!!!

24-December-05, 03:35 PM		#1 (permalink)
Iateronmly Smooth Operator	The PimpRig Christmas Story I posted this a year ago, but I figured I'd revise it a little and well like the true Christmas Story - it's always best after the 5th viewing Just like when you're watching Frosty The Snowman on CBS in your bean bag chair, eatting cheetos backing it with egg-nog. 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, except Clown's LED modded mouse. The computer was glowin', the icons were hopping, As a hapless n00b did last minute Internet shopping. The stockings were hung by the 21" LCD monitor with care In hope that St. Nicholas would bring new hardware. The children were nestled all snug in their futons, While visions of Doom4 danced in their heads. Dremel for Spectrum, and DIY PSU Modulation kit for Phlak, And a pre-mod for Pamela Ann (she was a bad kid) The letters to Santa had been sent out by Mom, To santaclaus@toyshop.northpole.com - One of my hoes in her 'kerchief, and I in my fedora, Had just settled down for a long winter's caffeine crash, When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the foton to see what was the matter. Away to computer I flew in a dash, IM'd everyone I knew with "OMGWTF-BBQ'dKITTENS! Somethin' is here!". The moon shaped window on my CoolerMaster Gave the lustre of mid-day to all that was near, When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, Why, a jovial ol' fat man with a big @$$ beard, With a disc of old drivers, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment it must be St. NoSlak More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name "Now, Cascade! now, Danger Den! now, Antec and Cooler Master! On, Blazer! on CPU-ID! on, AMD and Driver-haven! To the top of the ranks! to the top of the ORB! Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!" He was dressed all in Zoot suit attire, from his head to his foot, And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot; A bottle of FluidXP he had flung on his back, And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack. His eyes -- how they twinkled! his dimples how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry! His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow; He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work, And filled all the reserviors; then turned with a jerk, And laying his finger aside the power button and hit the switch! And giving a nod, up the chimney he went; He sprang to his Ford, to his crew gave a whistle, And away they all flew down the road. But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, "MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT"

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24-December-05, 03:38 PM		#2 (permalink)
Spectrum Former GameApex Editor	So how's Washington treating you? Glad to have you back and making your DD posts.

24-December-05, 04:41 PM		#3 (permalink)
Foe Apex Tech God	Excellent Iateronmly! Nice to have you back!

24-December-05, 06:33 PM		#4 (permalink)
me_john85 Camp Pen-Hoe-tan's Hoe	the 24 hour marathon starts tonight at 8pm eastern, heh

24-December-05, 07:28 PM		#5 (permalink)
ncgchlct Apex Master Tech Apprentice	very entertaining

24-December-05, 08:31 PM		#6 (permalink)
jofultner Apex Elite Tech	It is so nice to have a great big laugh `tis season,Thanks Man,Jo

24-December-05, 09:51 PM		#7 (permalink)
$SOLID$ Necro Mastah Overclocker	Well I have my PR sock hung by the Chimney, with hopes PimpSanta, will soon leave a FX-60 in der'

24-December-05, 10:45 PM		#8 (permalink)
j-dogg Mystical Schwinn Guru	IM'd everyone I knew with "OMGWTF-BBQ'dKITTENS! Somethin' is here!".

24-December-05, 11:30 PM		#10 (permalink)
PHLAK Apex Tech God	Its great to have you back man! Its already been a crazy day on the net with you back!

25-December-05, 02:05 AM		#13 (permalink)
Spc. Forces Bob Apex Elite Expert Tech	haha that was nice, the premod for the naughtie girl gave me a good chuckle

25-December-05, 11:26 AM		#15 (permalink)
Wordbiker Apex Tech God	Geez...look who came in from the snow! Welcome back Rich, and I hope you plan to stay a while. You've been scaring everyone, hiding out in the woods like Ted Kaszinsky...