Well gang, knowing the market for psychic hotlines, I've decided it's time to start my own Psychic PC Repair Hotline!

Tired of trying to figure out why your sound card drivers won't load? Want to know why your performance is slow? Even want to get information from a dead machine?

Call the Darksamurai Psychic PC Repair Hotline!

One of our personal techno-psychics is standing by to help you!

Let's listen to one of our calls!

Techno-Psychic: "I need your name, address, phone-number, date of birth, Social Security Number, E-Mail address and anything else that takes a bunch of time at 5 bucks a minute... WAHAHAHAAAAA!

*later*


CALLER:

"Hi, this is Jack *last name edited to protect the identity of the caller*, I have a problem with slow start-ups... is there something I can do?"

TECHNO PSYCHIC MS.CLEO KINGSTON:

"I'm getting negative vibrations from your motherboard... wait... it's coming to me... yes... near your RAM slot... but NO, I'm getting a dark energy from your processor! I think you've smoked it with your anxiety and anger towards it... Please go to our sales department and buy a new motherboard and processor... it will solve your problems... but wait! I'm also sensing you need some RAM, and your cooling system is way underpowered... I'll put that order together and have it shipped to you if you'd like!"

CALLER:

"Uhh... Do I really need all that stuff just to solve a slow boot process? I mean, it runs fine otherwi..."

TECHNO PSYCHIC:

"SILENCE! The fates have spoken! If you're too cheap to heal the wound in the soul of your computer, you deserve slow performance!"

CALLER:

"But... but..."

TECHNO PSYCHIC:

"Wait... I'm getting MORE!"

CALLER:

"NO!!! I'll pay it! I'll be fine now, really!"

TECHNO PSYCHIC:

"Okay, we already have your credit card number. You parts will be shipped in three to five days... total of your call will be $2,335.65. Have a nice day, and thank you for calling Darksamurai's Psychic PC Repair Hotline!"

CALLER:

"TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS! WHOAH! Hold on just one damn min..."

END OF CALL:

Yes, it's just THAT easy! Just call in and we can fix ALL of your problems! Also, visit "http://DarkSamuraiPsychicHotline/parts_Store.com" for all your hardware needs!

Thank you... I know you'll be calling... I can see the future!

'Sam, I _knew_ you were going to post that !

Want to come to work for me

DS thats so freakin funny

Now if only you had some fake interns you could promote making a movie.... or turning out the lights on your Psychic support lines...