Top Ten: Spotting n00bs!

Darksamurai · 13-April-03, 12:54 AM

Okay... so sometimes a newbie (n00b) doesn't even need to SPEAK to issue forth his supreme lack of skill!

I'll skip the "White Out" on the screen as it's WAY overdone...

1. N00bs tend to get upset quickly... You can easily spot one who's pissed off at the CD-ROM drive that REFUSES to play his DVDs...

2. N00bs tend to not understand the blue screen of death... it confuses and frightens them. They usually issue a lot of body language at this point... mostly including looking around for someone to help them!

3.A n00b is the guy trying to "unwrap" the hard plastic container his 3.5 disc comes in...

4. A n00b is someone who hits "Shut Down"... is all proud they remembered... and walks away leaving the monitor and speakers on thinking they are controlled by the same magical "Shut Down" button.

5. They try touching the icons on the screen to make the computer work.

6. You can always spot a n00b... they get upset when they've formated a CD-R and nothing will write to it now.

7. A n00b is a person who will push the power button a 1000 times... but never make sure it's plugged in.

8. You can always spot a n00b... they're the ones trynig to put the paper in the wrong end of the printer.

9. You can always spot a n00b computer repair "expert" they're the ones pulling apart the hard-drive to fix "access errors"

10. You can always spot a n00b... they usually come to you with a confused expression... walk away in confidence... then come back with that same confused expression...

Higgs · 13-April-03, 12:59 AM

yeah i always wondered why my cd-rom wont play DVDS.. stupid cd-rom.. lmao

OniZero · 13-April-03, 01:23 AM

#5
I think a touch screen is just what my Rig needs.
I need to figure a way to fabricate that.

scapegoat · 13-April-03, 01:34 AM

Number 10 is so true DS, i cant count the number of times ive seen that

BigAkita · 13-April-03, 01:38 AM

Hah! Some of the voicemail repair requests I got from n00bs with a blue screen made me laugh so hard I was in good spirits all day.

"This blue screen popped up with numbers, I don't know what I did! I swear that all I did was check my email. Help! Please!"

HoJo · 13-April-03, 01:40 AM

11. No matter how many times they hit the print screen button, the document on the screen won't print.

Red02 · 13-April-03, 09:47 AM

I like number 4 personally

Peng Lord · 13-April-03, 10:53 AM

A corrolary to #1, they buy DVD-Rs and promptly exchange them because they are "defective", after the second return, the customer service rep determines the customer is trying to burn DVDs in a CD burner.

(True story)

star882 · 13-April-03, 06:05 PM

My friend Caitlin Williams has a 45x CD-ROM drive in her comp, and when she invited her friend DJ File over, he said, "Wow, you have a 45x CD drive, mine is only 12x.".
She saw DJ's comp before, and she knew it's a 12x DVD drive, so she said, "I'll give you my 45x drive if you give me your 12x drive."

13-April-03, 12:54 AM	#1 (permalink)
Darksamurai Sam-Hoe-rai N-Hoe-mad Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Helena, MT Posts: 5,976	Top Ten: Spotting n00bs! Okay... so sometimes a newbie (n00b) doesn't even need to SPEAK to issue forth his supreme lack of skill! I'll skip the "White Out" on the screen as it's WAY overdone... 1. N00bs tend to get upset quickly... You can easily spot one who's pissed off at the CD-ROM drive that REFUSES to play his DVDs... 2. N00bs tend to not understand the blue screen of death... it confuses and frightens them. They usually issue a lot of body language at this point... mostly including looking around for someone to help them! 3.A n00b is the guy trying to "unwrap" the hard plastic container his 3.5 disc comes in... 4. A n00b is someone who hits "Shut Down"... is all proud they remembered... and walks away leaving the monitor and speakers on thinking they are controlled by the same magical "Shut Down" button. 5. They try touching the icons on the screen to make the computer work. 6. You can always spot a n00b... they get upset when they've formated a CD-R and nothing will write to it now. 7. A n00b is a person who will push the power button a 1000 times... but never make sure it's plugged in. 8. You can always spot a n00b... they're the ones trynig to put the paper in the wrong end of the printer. 9. You can always spot a n00b computer repair "expert" they're the ones pulling apart the hard-drive to fix "access errors" 10. You can always spot a n00b... they usually come to you with a confused expression... walk away in confidence... then come back with that same confused expression... __________________ “A good traveler has no fixed plans and is not intent on arriving.” - Lao Tzu

13-April-03, 12:59 AM	#2 (permalink)
Higgs Apex Advanced Techie Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 134	yeah i always wondered why my cd-rom wont play DVDS.. stupid cd-rom.. lmao __________________

13-April-03, 01:38 AM	#5 (permalink)
BigAkita n00b-ass reviewer Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Nirvana Posts: 14,315	Hah! Some of the voicemail repair requests I got from n00bs with a blue screen made me laugh so hard I was in good spirits all day. "This blue screen popped up with numbers, I don't know what I did! I swear that all I did was check my email. Help! Please!" __________________ "I'll stop being an A-Hole if you will stop being an Idiot."

13-April-03, 01:40 AM	#6 (permalink)
HoJo Review Pimp, but still Jo's Ho Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Las Vegas, NV Most modded city in the world Posts: 4,139	11. No matter how many times they hit the print screen button, the document on the screen won't print. __________________

13-April-03, 09:47 AM	#7 (permalink)
Red02 Freck-hoe-d Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: TejAs! Posts: 4,216	I like number 4 personally __________________ You scratch our back will scratch yours. See the funny thing about that is my back is actually located on my c*ck - Seth "Superbad"

13-April-03, 01:23 AM	#3 (permalink)
OniZero Apex Techie Wannabe Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Phoenix AZ Posts: 12	#5 I think a touch screen is just what my Rig needs. I need to figure a way to fabricate that.

13-April-03, 01:34 AM	#4 (permalink)
scapegoat Apex Tech God Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Illinois Posts: 4,520	Number 10 is so true DS, i cant count the number of times ive seen that

13-April-03, 10:53 AM	#8 (permalink)
Peng Lord Apex Tech Maniac Supreme Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Mich-HOE-gan Posts: 1,057	A corrolary to #1, they buy DVD-Rs and promptly exchange them because they are "defective", after the second return, the customer service rep determines the customer is trying to burn DVDs in a CD burner. (True story) __________________ -Thanks to maskedviperus for the cool sig-

13-April-03, 06:05 PM	#9 (permalink)
star882 Apex Advanced Techie Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 140	My friend Caitlin Williams has a 45x CD-ROM drive in her comp, and when she invited her friend DJ File over, he said, "Wow, you have a 45x CD drive, mine is only 12x.". She saw DJ's comp before, and she knew it's a 12x DVD drive, so she said, "I'll give you my 45x drive if you give me your 12x drive." __________________ The (1.44mb)floppy drive is dead! Long live the CD burners. However, the future floppy might rival today's hard drives. http://www.againsttcpa.com/

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