Okay... so after seeing MSN's "7 tips to getting Hired"... I figured it'd be fun to do "7 steps to NOT getting Hired"...

I would have done 7 steps to getting Fired... but I figured this would be more fun!

Jack shows up for his interview in a speedo and carrying a boom-box blasting "Can't Touch This"... he knows the Executive VP is going to think he's a sexy bitch. He feels like there isn't a chance in the world he's not getting this job!

John shows up in professional attire, a lot of decent references and a "Harvard" accent. The interviewer will find him terribly boring, and there is no way in hell he's gonna hired!

JoAnn applies at "Hooters" after her latest round of plastic surgery, she's feeling confident!

Mark says he promises not to date any of the employees if hired... what a tool!

It's all about how far you're willing to go to get that dream job!

7 ways from here to "I'm never gettin' a job".

1. Appearance counts... look like a hobo. If they see you need the job they'll give you one!

2. Tell the security guard in the lobby he looks like a sissy-boy reject from "The Village People". If you drop papers tell the boss you'd bend over to get them... but not around THAT guy! At this point, look at the boss and ask him what the hell he thinks HE'S looking at! (what boss doesn't love a paranoid, homophobic employee?)

3. When you sit down, DEMAND to know why you should even bother to consider working for their company! I mean, you're sure as hell not going to work for just ANYBODY!

4. If they ask if you have any handicaps they need to be aware of... tell them, "Yes... I have "Terrets Syndrome" you hunk of steaming (expletive)."

5.If they ask if you have a criminal record, smirk and say, "They'll never find it, I buried it deep... so no."

6. When the interviewer asks why you want to work for their company, reply, "I've been naughty... I need someone to punish me."

7. When you meet the interviewer, tell him you think it's really great the company hires mentally handicapped people... I mean, he's obviously doing well for himself!

Look like a hojo? Oh, sorry, my bad. You said hobo.

So that's what I've been doing wrong...

Note to self dont do any of these anymore.

I've been tempted to try three for a loooooooong time

Quote: Originally posted by Anathema Heheheh.. Number 6 sounds like something I would say. I'd probably add to that "I think we should discuss my daily spankings, as well. I mean if I'm going to be working here, there's gonna be some needs of mine that will have to be met. Should I bring my own paddles ,or will they be provided for me?" ... Yeah. That'd REALLY get the job (un)done.

mmmmm.....paddlles

Anyways ive always wanted to try number 3 as well Dark

Once was asked "Why would you like to work for us?" I once accidently stated "I'd work for anyone at this point" - but I later ended up getting the job.

Quote: Originally posted by Iateronmly Once was asked "Why would you like to work for us?" I once accidently stated "I'd work for anyone at this point" - but I later ended up getting the job.

Bad time to read this.. I almost started cracking up in the middle of class

heh I usually ask 3 in one way or another

The funniest question I was asked was "What will be the hardest transition from a military supervisor to a civilian supervisor?"

I answered honestly, "Having to figure out what clothes to wear each day."

Wearing BDU's as work clothes does have it's benefits.