I'm kinda scared to introduce today's guest writer...but never the less, Please help me welcome this Saturday's Guest Writer...hawklen!

I was really debating on if I should give hawklen the opportunity to spam up, I mean write up, an article for the Daily Disturbance. He kept calling me and overflowing my mailbox all weeklong with requests for a chance to post something...

...So I figured I'd help a brother out. I gave him the opportunity to take this Saturdays Guest Spot and share his wits, I mean wisdom, with the PR community...and he's gonna repay his debt off sometime in the future

So with all that junk out of the way...here ya go!


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"The world filtered through the brain of hawklen"

Hello everyone in PR land! Welcome to the Eminem Show..err, no wait. Ok, hold on
a sec. I really don't remember having this mp3,
wtf..Oh, I'm writing an article aren't I? Yes, I am..yep, yep..Damn it! I'm not
on irc...Ok, back to the scheduled programming!

Let me introduce myself. I am your father..crap. Damned
distractions. Ok, Im back, but not 100% right in the head! Continueing..
My name is hawklen, and I have been around here in PR land since march of 2003.
As some of you know, I usually mouth off, irritate and genrally cause sh!t.
Hence my title "Mouthy lil' hoe

The other day, I got a PM from IronSerif, begging me to do an article for the
Saturday Daily Disturbance. I mean, he was basically crying. "hawklen, come on,
only you can do this, I'm on my knees man, I need you! *sob*" See what I mean? I
felt sorry for the guy, and here I am, writing. Man, sometimes I have a soft
heart. Maybe some simulated killing, via Quake3 Urban Terror will harden it
more. But I digress.

IronSerif, (We'll call him Monkey Boy from here on) through his tears and
horrible grammer and spelling, explained to me to write about any stories,
rants, interesting lesbian pornography invlovling leather and an Ice Cream
Sundae. I thought to myself "Hrm, I guess flaming midget tossing is out" and
replied to him "Sure Monkey Boy, I'm sure I can think of something."

And here I am. What to say, what to say. Oh! I know. I tell you all about something
I haven't told many people yet.

I've been accepted to go into college. "take me to bed hawk!" here>

Seriously, this is something I should of done awhile ago. Although, I do
recommend seeing the world, working, and just having plain fun before you start
college. But, I took too long. Im 28 now, and have a job that blows. (not
literaly, perverts )

The college im attending this fall is called Georgian College, and is situated
in Barrie, Ontario, Canada. "Say hawk, wtf are ya talking?" Hey, im getting to
that!
The course I applied for is a three year one, called, "Computer Programmer
Analyst". What does this entail you ask? Well, here is a link with the
description of it!
http://www.georgianc.on.ca/academics...php?major=COPA
Im taking this, hopfully pass, to get a job over at Honda Of Canada ISD
department (Their version of IT) If not there, someother place like it.

What I will be learning, besides "Another beer please!" at the bar on campus, Is
software, hardware essentials, java and web page programming, databases and all
that fun stuff that I do right now as a hobby.
So far these are the core courses I'm taking this semester;

Www Construction
Intro To Java Programming
It Essentials Hardware
It Essentials Software

Co-Op Hour (its a co-op course )

These are pertaining to my course (ie. required). I have to take a communication
course and a Gen ed course. I haven't really decieded which two, but so far im
thinking these;

World Links: Wired Comm (for my communication course)
Understanding Science (for my general education course)

The science one is an online course, so no classes. Im pretty sure I'll stick with
this One less class to attend, and the internet to guide me.
Im still iffy on which communication one, that one I have, looks to be the best
of the deal. Im sure I'm going to hate it. I took a computer course, it means I don't
want to communicate with people. Leave me alone in a room with a bunch of servers,
I swear, it's all i need!

The worse part about this, is I will have to continue working midnights as well
as take school. Due to me being an asshat with credit, I have bad credit and was
denied for OSAP. (Canadian financial aid for students in Ontario) Oh well, lower
bowel evacuations happen, and I'll have to live with this. I'll put up with it,
because I really want a post secondary education, a better job, faster computer,
and my own personal midget. Right now I'll have to sacrifice to accomplish my
goals.
Wish me luck! I think I am going to need it. Correction. Im DEFINITLY going to
need it!!

On a final note, I'll show you guys what I have been doing as a hobby. If you
didn't know, I only run Linux(Gentoo distro of linux), and play with various servers,
databases and other dung. Here's a link of my system monitoring via a web server;
http://hitokiri.hopto.org/cacti/grap...tree&tree_id=1

I'm outta here, thank you for reading, and Monkey boy and the other PR writers
for letting me do this piece. Remember kids! Don't take school and stay in drugs! Er,
or was that the other way around? Oh well, life's a bitch then someone steals your
bicycle.

Yours truly, hawklen, destroyer of worlds, woo'er of women.


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lol good job bro! Thanks for the write-up and good luck with everything!

Quote: Originally Posted by Hawklen explained to me to write about any stories, rants, interesting lesbian pornography invlovling leather and an Ice Cream Sundae.

I am very upset none of the lesbian pr0n involving leater and an Ice Cream Sundae came up. I saw that and immediately decided to read the whole thing. BTW good writeup. I think...

The Flaming Midget Tossing would have held my interest, but I guess that would be considered somewhat niche entertainment... I'm a little upset that the S&M/B&D/Baskin Robbins part didn't make it into the story as well...

*starts slow clap, then stops when nobody else joins in*

if you want bdsm..look in the got pic thread..rofl..That pic is probably all over the net now..like the numa numa song..

Nice writeup..

Good luck at school...ASSHAT!

C'mon...someone had to say it!

Thank yee, Thnak yee. I bask in thy appropriate praise, that I deserve

This was fun to write, I've never really written anything up like this before, well, that didn't require to pass a course anyways Maybe later on you all can read about my college experiences, we'll have to see.

Hey Necro, nice sig, of a great classic movie with alotta canadian actors in it

Ugh, Just woke up, hurting to write right now, so I'll leave it before I say something I'll regret. Thanks again guys.

Quote: Originally Posted by Cpt.Planet I am very upset none of the lesbian pr0n involving leater and an Ice Cream Sundae came up. I saw that and immediately decided to read the whole thing. BTW good writeup. I think...

Okay..........where's the lesbians in leather pr0n

christ your canadian? since when?

that was intense.

So hawklen when are you going to PM me with the numbers of those pretty girlies you be going to college with.

Give me a good reason to not marry my Ford Probe

An interesting write up on oneÂ’s self donÂ’t you think?

Before I only hated you Hawklen. Now, the flames of hatred are so intense my keyboard is melting!

Slider! Long time no hate brotha! Because of you I had to replace me keyboard several times. Damn that flame of hatred gets hot.

You can marry your probe j-dogg, Im sure there is points on the car you could use as an orifice.

Flounder, been canadian since my parents decided to get funky here, well, you know, the place that yer born usually makes your nationality

Yeah, thought it was kinda interesting write up on myself, I'm sure I can churn out some more along those lines. Didnt think it was intense, was it?

I thought it was intence...seriously.

Wow, so many words, so little coherence. We ought to have Hawklen write more often. Think of it as a creative enema.

Anyways, keep up the good work Hawklen. It'll payoff someday ( maybe).

Quote: Originally Posted by FoeHammer We ought to have Hawklen write more often.

lol that statement could lead to dangerous territories

Muwahahahahahahahah!!!

(hawklen starts putting a few evil plots together)

You will never be the same. *evil cackle*

Monkey Boy... lol. I don't know why I find that so funny.

Good luck in school Hawk, don't do anyone I wouldn't.