Embarassing moments in public. We've all had them at one time or another. Those times when you wish a giant hole would swallow you up to save you from the embarassment. These are the moments when you are shocked and horrified at what a goober you have made of yourself in public. First you look around real quick to see if anyone saw you ,then try to carry on as though nothing has happened.

Turn it around when you are witness instead of subject, and this can make for some side splitting amusement. There are those surprise Foepahs that you rarely see, but then there are the ones most everyone has seen.

Here are some classics:

1) Your at a nice restaurant having a great dinner. There is an attractive woman who makes her way across the room to the restroom. This is the woman that everyone notices, and she knows she looks great, too. As she emerges from the restroom to make her elegant walk back to her table you notice the trail following her. As you look down you realize she has TP stuck to her $545.00 Manolo Blahnik shoe. Instantly you giggle, and have to point this social Foepah out to all at your table.

2) Your at work, and one of your male co-workers comes into your office. As you discuss some work related issue you happen to notice that his fly is unzipped. You try to keep your eyes away from that general region so when he does realize his social Foepah he does not know that you knew. What's worse is you see him make his way back to his desk, and stops to speak to a few other men in the office. Not one tells homeslice that his fly is open. Why is that? So sometime later this poor guy finds his fly open, and thinks back to when he last unzipped. Only to come to the conclusion that is was hours ago, and everyone has seen it and never mentioned it to him.

3) Another classic would be when you see the car going down the road with the dress or coat shut in the door. On most occasions this is when the weather is really bad and the object of clothing is most likely ruined when they get to their final destination.

4) And who has not seen the poor unsuspecting woman come out of the bathroom with her skirt tucked neatly into her pantyhose. What a nice shot that is from behind.

Social Foepahs are life's way of letting us know that we not only should laugh at ourselves, but others as well. For if we take ourselves or life too serious that is when the Foepah will befall you.

Thank you for reading

In upcoming Daily Disturbance posts from me:
* Son of a %(&*()*&+@#!!!!

* 96 Years

* Freedom

When I lived in the barracks we used to wake up at the very last minute, throw our PT uniforms on, and rush out to formation. This became automatic so we could even do it in the dark or while very hung over. One morning when we were going on a long battalion run I jumped out of bed, a little hung over and in the dark, threw on my stuff and ran outside to formation. Immediately folks started laughing, I looked down and had put on one White Nylon running shoe and a Brown walking shoe. It was too late, I had to do the entire run that way.

While I was at Ft Benning for BNCOC (Basic Non-Commissioned Officer Course), I made a few "Morning Coffee" friends. We'd get up well before formation and have a cup or two along with a smoke before PT. Usually, BNCOC is considered a "Party Atmosphere", so guys are usually coming to PT still drunk or hungover from too much partying the night before...

One morning, we were having our coffee and cig, when one guy came out of the barracks and made us do a double-take... He was wearing his roadguard vest, flashlight in hand, but his boxers and flip flops instead of PT uniform and running shoes... He was one of the guys in our platoon, so we scooped him up, took him back inside and got him PROPERLY dressed, and back outside in time for formation. Good thing for him that:

1) The caffeine and nicotine addicts were up early enough, and sufficiently awake to catch his Foepah...
2) The instructors gave us a surprise light PT day, with only warm-up and stretching...

Bad for him:

1) We got pictures of the debacle
2) We never let him live it down, for the rest of the course...

Quote: Originally Posted by Grandpa Bad for him: 1) We got pictures of the debacle

[QUOTE]

So wheres the pics.

Quote: Originally Posted by Foe Not one tells homeslice that his fly is open. Why is that?

Section 7 Article 39 of the Man's Handbook of Manly Behavior:

Thou shall not look in the vicinity of another man's bait and tackle in anything more than a passing glance.
If you do happen to see something awry during said passing glance you are by no means to speak of it.

Section 9 Article 12:

Another man's fly is down: Do not tell the victim as this would ruin the joke for everyone.

Your fly is down: Think damage control men. You've already screwed up so go with it, better to laugh with you than at you. First in a manly voice plead a "wardrobe malfunction", then say, "down Jumbo, down...honestly I don't know how he learned to do that" and zip up.

Quote: Originally Posted by Foe 2) Your at work, and one of your male co-workers comes into your office. As you discuss some work related issue you happen to notice that his fly is unzipped. You try to keep your eyes away from that general region so when he does realize his social Foepah he does not know that you knew. What's worse is you see him make his way back to his desk, and stops to speak to a few other men in the office. Not one tells homeslice that his fly is open. Why is that? So sometime later this poor guy finds his fly open, and thinks back to when he last unzipped. Only to come to the conclusion that is was hours ago, and everyone has seen it and never mentioned it to him.

I have no idea why the word "homeslice" made me laugh and spit coffee......

Just kinda stuck me funny I guess.

Quote: Originally Posted by Zer0s So wheres the pics.

That's the whole point of blackmail...

If I put them out there, there's no more income from that particular source, now is there?

Quote: Originally Posted by AntiM Section 7 Article 39 of the Man's Handbook of Manly Behavior: Thou shall not look in the vicinity of another man's bait and tackle in anything more than a passing glance. If you do happen to see something awry during said passing glance you are by no means to speak of it.

Except for the recent addendum that viewers of Bravo are allowed to gaze in that general area at their own risk, as some manly men do not appreciate that type of behavior.

Quote: Originally Posted by AntiM Section 7 Article 39 of the Man's Handbook of Manly Behavior: Thou shall not look in the vicinity of another man's bait and tackle in anything more than a passing glance. If you do happen to see something awry during said passing glance you are by no means to speak of it. Section 9 Article 12: Another man's fly is down: Do not tell the victim as this would ruin the joke for everyone. Your fly is down: Think damage control men. You've already screwed up so go with it, better to laugh with you than at you. First in a manly voice plead a "wardrobe malfunction", then say, "down Jumbo, down...honestly I don't know how he learned to do that" and zip up.

ROFL AnitM! Thank you for shring part of the Man's Handbook of Manly Behaviour.

Quote: Originally Posted by Que_66 I have no idea why the word "homeslice" made me laugh and spit coffee...... Just kinda stuck me funny I guess.

Thank you Que! I use that phrase a lot and my family gets a kick out of it, too. Not sure where I picked it up from, but have been using it for years now. Now go get that windex and clean your monitor.

Is Foepah even a real word?

Or how about having a plumbers crack when your not a plumber...lmao

FoePah is a word, but the correct spelling if faux pas.

Plumbers crack....got spackle?

Plumber's crack - put a silver dollar in it, and he works for 1 minute

A faux pas (IPA /ˌfoʊˈpɑː/, plural: faux pas /ˌfoʊˈpɑː(z)/) is a violation of accepted, although unwritten, social rules. Faux pas vary widely from culture to culture and what is considered good manners in one culture can be considered a faux pas in another. For example, in English-speaking Western countries it is usually considered good manners to bring a bottle of wine when coming to someone's house for dinner. In France, however, this is considered insulting as it suggests the hosts are unable to provide their own good wine. However, bringing flowers to the hostess is never a faux pas, although you sometimes need to be careful which kind of flowers you bring.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Faux_pas

This happened while I was in at Ft. Bragg. My unit was on DRF1 status, which means if the crap hit the fan, my unit was going to be one of the first in the hot zone. This also means that the unit was on 1 hour recall and that we had to check in every hour. Well, me and a few of the guys decided to go to the bar and party a little, not expecting of course to be called out. All was fine and we got plenty tanked-up at the bar, so we made our way back to the barracks at about 0100 hrs. At 0145 hrs., my platoon Sgt. bangs on my door yelling get your gear ready, that we've been called out. I was still really messed up, so I grabbed my gear and made my way down to the formation area. My world was spinning out of control.

So we get transported to the holding area, and my $hit was getting real weak now. While in the holding area (which looks like a POW camp) we do our equipment check and we go thru the POR routine, where they check your shot records, wills and everything else. It was a good thing I was wearing my camo paint on my face and that fact it was dark out cause they would found out I was $hitfaced.

We finally made it down to Pope Air Force Base to get our chutes, go to Green Ramp and get geared up. My First Sgt was one of the Jumpmasters that was doing our final check of our rigs. Of course, he had to be the to do my check, prior to boarding the C-141. He's checking me over, then looks me in the eye and whispers "Not bad for your drunk azz" and says "your all set". So I went over to the other 2 guys that I had went out partying with and of course they were in just as bad of shape.

So I get back to my stick, and we board the plane. I'm starting to get REAL sick to my stomach now. The plane lifts off and we're up flying "who knows where" and this ride was getting bumpier by the minute. We were finally given the ready order to prepare. The First Sgt. was handling my side of the plane. He gives the order to "Stand Up"........"Hook Up"........"Equipment Check"......."Stand in the Door", I was ready to puke right there. Then Top says "GO" and just as I jumped out, so did the entire contents of my stomach. I had barf all over me (mostly beer and chili fries). Then I started getting the dry heaves. Needless to say, I wasn't steering the chute very well (I was more focused on dry heaving and lowering my M-60 before I landed) and landed pretty fast and hard on the drop zone...........OMG my head hurt something bad and my world was out of control. Well, I finally met up with my squad and got the word that it was just an exercise. I was relieved by that bit of news, but not of the next news, we were going to hump back to the barracks, "18 frickin miles"............Man was that a long day...........

Quote: Originally Posted by Sorrow Plumber's crack - put a silver dollar in it, and he works for 1 minute

Well at least Nerdz is earning some money.............Now pull up your pants - crack kills you know !!!

I usually just go "fly's open" when I notice that a friend of mine has his zipper low. Not as manly as laughing at them but far more polite.
I can't think of any faux pas that I have committed recently, except maybe lighting up a smoke when I shouldn't (like in front of the track team).

how bout the one where you're walking along and a beautiful woman catches your eye long enough for you to walk into or trip on something. i'm sure thats happened to every man at least once in their lives.

Quote: Originally Posted by chairman666 how bout the one where you're walking along and a beautiful woman catches your eye long enough for you to walk into or trip on something. i'm sure thats happened to every man at least once in their lives.

LOL! I have seen this happen before, and it is always flattering yet hilarious.

There was a lieutenant that had just come in from medical school (if the Navy pays for your medical school, you'll come in as an 0-3). He didn't know anything since the OCS course they put the doctors and lawyers through is nothing. Well, he goes to the local Nex to get his insignia and when asked what he needs, he tells them that he needs Lt bars for one side and some leaf like insignia for the other. He receives his insignia and proceeds to walk around base. Everyone ends up confused, half saluting, and then dropping because the salesperson at the Nex had given him Lt bars for one side and a Cmdr's oak leaf for the other instead of the medical insignia he was supposed to get. No one tells him this for a couple of days until his Chief finally pulls him aside and squares him away . ..

edit: btw, what is a goober and a homeslice

So if you see a guy with his fly open and plumbers crack, do you pretend you're in Vegas and play the slots to see his eyes spin?









I know, I know, depends on whether you can tell if he's the nickel slots for a penny payout, or the dollar slots for Super Jackpot.