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| Daily Disturbance Articles from our entertaining editorial team. |
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01-April-03, 07:16 PM
| #1 (permalink) | |
| Sam-Hoe-rai N-Hoe-mad  |  New Virus *special report* NEW VIRUS: While you're out surfing the net, look out for the "DS32.bliss4ever.nirvana.exe" Virus... this virus has a TON of people pissed off! It's horrible. The Virus overclocks your rig to a safe speck, tweaks your system settings for performance and optimizes your RAM! Wait, it gets worse! This virus will also get more performance out of your video card, and kill other viruses! It defrags your systems while you sleep! It will automatically contact FTD to send flowers to your wife on your anniversary! It will Tweak every part of your life to run like it should! It hacks your ISP and gives you a wider pipe for free! It updates your system files to automatic seek out and download cool apps you'll use! It'll update you Windows rig to run all the new software without having to give up your privacy or piss you off with compatability support! It'll automatically detect spam, erase it and flame the spammer! Why are people so pissed off?!? Nobody is upgrading because their rigs are faster... nor at the repair shop because everything works! Dell's operators are sitting by the phone humming the theme to "Mission Impossible"! Computer Repair Shops are twidling their thumbs and prank-calling pizza places! Internet advertisers are getting flooded with E-mails that are callin' their Mommas dirty names! The society is on the brink of collapse! What's worse is that it ducks under EVERY known anti-virus solution! There is NO stopping the DS32.bliss4ever.nirvana.exe virus! What evil and diabolical person would create the "Darksamurai" virus?!? How could he be so CRUEL?!? Yes... April Fools! | |
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! ohhh no!!!!! Im updating my virus defintions right now! i dont want that! 
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