NOTE: Tweaking the crap out of XP part 4 will be posted tomorrow... I've been trying all day (in between a bunch of other projects) to tweak my sound and video to run a bunch of my old DOS stuff, so my brain decided it has had enough for one day...


Okay... yes, it's fun to tweak n00bs... but sometimes it's more fun to tweak the experts! I gotta admit... I'd freak if I heard any of these (I scared myself thinking of the consequences of numbers 4 and 7)!

TOP TEN FUN THINGS TO SAY TO OVERLY-SERIOUS PC GURUS:

1. "Why don't we just stop screwing around and just ALL use Microsoft already!!!"

2. "I did some work on your computer 'cause mine is acting strange... Now YOURS keeps coming up with this blue screen with a bunch of numbers on it. Weird 'huh?"

3. "Your desktop was so boring! I decided to change your backdrop to some hardcore triple-X stuff I found on the internet, and changed all your system colors to green, orange and pink! I also moved your icons so they'd be easier to find! Can I get a "thank you" already?!?"

4. "I decided to load Windows 98 on our server because you said that NT was harder to use... now everyone is complaining their network connection is down. You probably should look at that."

5. "I updated your software and erased a bunch of stuff I didn't think you were using..."

6. "Uhhh... I wanted to rip a couple of your MP3s, and I found your porn collection... and, uhh... well, I kinda accidently deleted both of the folders they were in..."

7. "I decided to bring in a screen-saver from home I had on a 3.5, and after I loaded it, my screen went black, and now my computer won't boot and neither will half the network... whoops! 3/4s of the network... can you fix it?

8. "You shouldn't look so upset about the network being down, I mean, it's not like it's because your technical skill is lacking and they're gonna fire you because the company is losing money for every second we're not able to work..."

9. "The network printer is all jammed up, and I only got HALF of the list of jokes I was printing off."

(I swear I actually heard this line... and it wasn't a joke... the guy was printing off 20 pages of "Hummer" (the SUV! THE SUV!) jokes... I was ready to hurt this person)

10. "Upgrade our systems? I thought most of our problems were from the fact you didn't know what you were doing!"

LOL

hahahah...you know, some of those are very true.

7. ooops now its all of the network.

LMAO. SUV? Yea, right.

hahahahaha great stuff man

11. I opened up your computer and it was all dirty, so I dicided to take a toothbrush and hot soapy water and clean it all......but when I turned it back on i head this fizzing sound, and then it started to smell funny......atleast its clean...

hahaha

i've heard #10 several times.. i hate that one with a passion...

"What do you mean we can't run [enter whizz new uber-memory hog app here] on the computer? It's only [enter large number here] years old!"

[heard after trying to run The Sims on a P133 and telling me the reason it won't work was "all of the stuff you put on it that is taking up the memory"]



computer illiterates aggrivate me to no end....

Mist... you have to learn to make the other person realize it's THEIR fault. I never heard number 10 'cause I realized the value of saying "Look. You see the box this came with? Okay, can you read the side off to me please?"

MAKE THEM DO THIS.

Go into Sandra, or make them watch the BIOS as it posts...

"What does that say?"

MAKE THEM SAY IT:

"Now then... how is the fact you can't read my fault?"

I don't suffer fools well, I guess...