So I'm sitting here watching Kelly Clarksons video on MTV (yes they are actually playing music videos lol) and I'm thinking to myself...Iron, how come you're not that talented?? I could pay off the car, school loan, house, etc! Ah well let's just not even attempt to answer that question


And on another note...I just rolled out of bed. Don't even ask me what happened there, I know I didn't stay out that late last night heh

Blah...what can ya do? Joke time!!! Enjoy guys

Mirror Mirror

A WOMAN comes home from the hypnotist and tells her husband:

"Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone."

"No more headaches?" the husband asks, "What happened?"

His wife replies: "Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat 'I do not have a headache, I do not have a headache. I do not have a headache.' It worked! The headaches are all gone."

The husband replies: "Well, that is wonderful."

His wife then says: "You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?"

The husband agrees to try it. Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says: "Don't move. I'll be right back."

He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.

His wife says: "Boy that was wonderful!"

The husband says: "Don't move! I will be right back." He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time.

The wife sits up and her head is spinning. Her husband again says: "Don't move, I'll be right back."

With that, he goes back in the bathroom. This time, his wife quietly follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror saying: "She's not my wife. She's not my wife. She's not my wife!"

Ok this last one is pretty funny...but adult rated and nasty. So hang in there!
This guy is nearing the end of his senior year in highschool,
unfortunately he still has to share a room with his younger brother
who is about 5 or 6.
One night, he decides to bring his girlfriend home for a little fun.
They have bunk beds and the guy notices that his little brother is
already asleep on the lower bunk, so he and his gal climb up to the
top bunk.
As you might expect things start to heat up. The guy remembering that
his little brother is sleeping below so he tells his girlfriend to
whisper,"lettuce" if she wants it harder and "tomato" if she wants a
new position.
"Lettuce, tomato, lettuce, tomato, lettuce, lettuce," it sounds.
Then the little brother chimes in, "Hey, would you guys stop making
sandwiches up there, you're getting mayonaise all over my face."


Alright guys I guess I better get a head start on my day. At least the rain stopped Can't show up to my last two days at work too too late Have a great day guys and enjoy the weekend
Peace out!

ROFL! Good ones IS!

that last one was hysterical!!!

Hehe......that was good...........

That last one was just gross!

A middle-aged couple, with two beautiful daughters, decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.

Soon, the wife became pregnant, and, nine months later, delivered a baby boy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son, but was horrified to find an incredibly-ugly baby.

He went to his wife and said, "I cannot possibly be the father of that hideous child. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered."

When his wife blushed, he became suspicious, and demanded, "Have you been fooling around on me?"

His wife confessed, "Not this time."
__________________________________________________ _____________________________
A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon, and set it on the table. The diner was impressed. "Do all the waiters here carry spoons in their pockets?"
The waiter replied, "Yes. Ever since an Efficiency Expert visited our restaurant... He determined that 17.8% of our diners knock the spoon off the table. By carrying clean spoons with us, we save trips to the kitchen."

The diner ate his meal. As he was paying the waiter, he commented, "Forgive the intrusion, but do you know that you have a string hanging from your fly?"

The waiter replied, "Yes, we all do. Seems that the same Efficiency Expert determined that we spend to much time washing our hands after using the men's room. So, the other end of that string is tied to my penis. When I need to go, I simply pull the string, do my thing, and then return to work. Having never touched myself, there really is no need to wash my hands. Saves a lot of time."

"Wait a minute," said the diner, "how do you get your penis back in your pants?"

"Well, I don't know about the other guys, but I use the spoon."
__________________________________________________ _____________________________
It was the kindergarten teachers birthday and the students decided that they would each buy their teacher a gift.
The first student, whose parents own a florist shop, gave her a present. She held it and said "I guess that it is flowers". "How did you guess?" asked the little boy. She laughed and thanked him.

The second student, whose parents own a candy store, gave her a present. She held it and said, "I guess that is some candy."

"How did you guess?" asked the little boy. She again laughed and thanked him also.

The third student, whose parents own a bottle shop, gave her a box which was leaking. The teacher touched the liquid with her finger and tasted it. "Mmmmm is it wine?" she asked.

"No," said the little girl.

So she tasted it again. "Is it champagne?" she asked.

"Noooo," replied the little girl, "It's a puppy."

LOL - I always liked the spoon joke!


A man is working the night shift in a convenience store when his buddy runs in and says, "Hey, man if you want some hot action, we have a chick in the park doing anyone who wants to get in the car with her!"

The convenience store clerk decides that it's a slow night, so he locks up and head to the park, where in gets in the car with the woman. Just as things are starting to get really heated up, a flashlight shines through the window and there is a knock from a policeman.

Policeman: "Sir, you're not supposed to be doing that, especially in the park!"

Man: "It's ok officer, this is my wife."

Policeman: "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize that."

Man: "Until you turned on that flashlight, I didn't either!"

Lmao mayo. The rest were good too.

Its all golden, I really like the second one iron.