Hey what's up guys? It's another friday, how awesome is that! Well as many of you know I've been pretty busy with all of these job interviews, and it looks like there is light at the end of the tunnel! Within the past week I've had 3 interviews with a law firm for an opening in their IT department.

They were basically looking for a recent college grad and someone who was willing to grow and learn with the law firm. So it seems that all 3 of the interviews went really well and they gave me the job offer!

Man I'm so stoked about that, I almost didn't know how to respond!

So while I still have this big burst of energy....Joke time!! Enjoy



On their first night together, a newlywed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom showered and wearing a beautiful robe. The proud husband says, "My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe."

The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished."Oh, oh, aaaahhh," he exclaims, "My God you are so beautiful, let me take your picture. Puzzled she asks, "My picture?" He answers, "Yes my dear, so I can carry your beauty next to my heart forever".

She smiles and he takes her picture, and then he heads into the bathroom to shower. He comes out wearing his robe and the new wife asks, "Why do you wear a robe? We are married now."

At that the man opens his robe and she exclaims, "oh, OH, OH MY, let me get a picture". He beams and asks why and she answers, "So I can get it enlarged!"

And last one...

A man having trouble achieving an erection decides to consult a witch doctor.
The witch doctor throws some herbs on a fire, shakes his rattle, and says, "I have placed a powerful spell on you, but it will only work once a year. Just say 'one, two, three' and you'll get the largest erection you've ever had. After your wife's been satisfied, simply say 'one, two, three, four' and it will disappear for 12 months."

Later that night as the man is lying in bed watching television, he says to his wife, "Watch this! One, two, three!" His penis becomes larger and stiffer than ever before. His wife is amazed. She smiles and says, "That's great! But what did you say 'one, two, three' for?"


lol that's gotta suck.

Alright guys I'm outta here, time for work I hope everyone enjoys their 4th of July weekend and hopefully the weather will hold out for all those cookouts. Have fun crew and don't burn your hands off with all those sparklers!

Peace out

Congrats on the job IS!

You're A Teacher If...

You believe the staff room should be equipped with a Valium salt lick.
You find humor in other people's stupidity.
You want to slap the next person who says "Must be nice to work 8 to 3:20 and have summers free."
You believe chocolate is a food group.
You can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside.
You believe "Shallow gene pool" should have its own box in the report card.
You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today.
When out in public you feel the urge to snap your fingers at children you do not know to correct their behavior.
You have no life between August to June.
When you mention "Vegetables" you're not talking about a food group.
You think people should be required to get a government permit before being allowed to reproduce.
You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to reproduce.
You believe in aerial Prozac spraying.
You believe no one should be permitted to reproduce without having taught in an elementary setting for the last 10 years.
You've ever had your profession slammed by someone who would "Never DREAM" of doing your job.
You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.
You know you are in for a major project when a parent says "I have a great idea I'd like to discuss. I think it would be such fun."
You want to choke a person when they say "Oh, you must have such FUN everyday. This must be like playtime for you."
Meeting a child's parent instantly answers the question "Why is this kid like this?"
__________________________________________________ _______________________________
Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car (a Grand Caravan) along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident. The mind numbing question is: Who was the survivor?

Scroll down for the answer...











The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man. Women stop reading here. That is the end of the joke.

Men keep'a scrollin'...











So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. And that explains why there was a car accident. By the way, if you're a woman and you're reading this, this illustrates another point: Women never listen, either.

ROFL all of them were great but spectrum that last one was freakin hilarious rep to ya

My aunt used to work in the Indiana Public Schools, and here is an email she sent.

Granted, being on the missing children list is NOT funny or something to joke about, we are only looking at the names here people...

Quote: As I was looking through the Indiana Missing Children Bulletin to see if I recognize anyone, I decided to share some unusual first names from the list: Obtavious Portray Latrina <-- My personal favorite Yuco Arttrail Kavisa Teako Cammeal Dejovia Mylesicia Nijee Sparkles Shahollany Ediverta Equasia <--mom must be a math teacher! Delmi America Tharl Takela <--As in "...with a slice of lime" or as in "Takela Mockingbird?" Tequilia Bisenta Jawasha <--Is the answer "Yeah, ja dry-a?" Heaven Lamor Alamin Noan Conchadetta Zequin <--destined to be a showgirl in Las Vegas, I'd guess Erskina Casterdale Jerria

These are actual directions found on certain products around the world!

1. Directions found on a bag of frito corn chips. "You could be a winner!!! No purchase necessary!!! Details inside!" you think to your self (Shoplifters special)

2. On Tesco's Tiramisu Desert (directions on bottom) "Do not turn upside down" (Too late)

3. On Marks & Spencers Bread Pudding. "Product will be hot after heating" (Just as day follows night)

4. On most kinds of Christmas lights. "Indoor and outdoor uses ONLY" (As opposed to what now?)

5. On Sainsbury's peanuts. "WARNING CONTAINS NUTS!!!" (Talk about your news flash)

6. Found on an American Airlines Packet of peanuts. "Step One: Open packet. Step two: Eat nuts."

You think to your self (Step three: Fly Delta)

7. On a Swedish chainsaw. "Warning! Please do not try to stop with hands or genitals!!"

(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere! My GOD!)


A distraught patient phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true," the woman wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life"?

"Yes, I'm afraid so," the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the woman continued, "I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition. This prescription is marked 'NO REFILLS.'"


At school, a boy was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding
at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them
by saying, "I know the whole truth". The boy decides to go home and try it
out.

He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he says, "I know the whole
truth."

His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and
greets him with, "I know the whole truth."

The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your
mother."

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day, when he sees the
mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole
truth."

The mailman drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your
FATHER a big hug."

Quote: Originally Posted by CyberTech At school, a boy was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth". The boy decides to go home and try it out. He goes home, and as he is greeted by his mother he says, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father." Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother." Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day, when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your FATHER a big hug."

I've always loved that joke

Ok, one of my all time fav blonde jokes....yes, I know they're tiring, but this one is funny!