Well... after one too many of those stupid-ass reality shows (Okay, okay... so I DO watch "Fear Factor" when I manage to catch it) I thought it might be kinda fun to do a spoof.

You've been warned!

REALITY TV IS PROUD TO PRESENT: REAL LIFE, MEET MY COMPUTER, FEAR MY L337 SKILL, AND BASEMENT SURVIVOR!

Darksamurai: "Yeah, I've been at this computer thing for awhile now... Long enough to where I'd create my own reality show on a VERY low budget. Now normally, this being reality TV (so to speak), the camera view would switch to someone who thought I was a complete jerk, they want my body, or why I'm not thinking enough about THEM.... or why their worried I'll be able to eat more Screaming ****roaches than they will...

"Real Life, Meet my Computer, Fear my L337 Skill and Basement Survivor" only has one cast member. Unlike most "reality" shows, I don't know the names of most my friend's real names... I usually know them under aliases like "Scapegoat" or "Anathema". This makes life more interesting."

DAY 1: THE PC CHALLENGE:

Darksamurai: "I figured instead of eating squid-guts (Fear Factor), or actually going outside (Survivor), or even talking to hip, attractive, emotionally crippled people (Real Life), I'd create the "PC Challenge" Today, I'll be tweaking my 3DMark scores and comparing them against other nerds. This is dangerous because if my scores are too low, I'll be laughed out and ridiculed... if my scores are too high, everyone is gonna wanna know how I did it... chewing into precious gaming time. It's a delicate line to walk"

DAY 2: Food.

Darksamurai: "Seeking food has been difficult. I have to leave my computer to do it. I managed to forage for some Cheddar Chex Mix and a bottle of Iced Tea burid in all the crap on my desk, but I'm still hungry. I hate to say it, but I may have to stop playing GTA3 and listening to heavy-metal MP3s to do it."

DAY 3: Darksamurai's Breakdown:

Darksamurai: "I'm losing viewers, as I know there is certainly more exciting shows on. I'm hoping me having a nervous breakdown will improve ratings... if not... I DON'T CARE! LEAVE ME ALONE! I HATE THE CAMERA MAN!"

DAY 4: Breakdown?

Darksamurai: "Okay... so the fake breakdown didn't really fool anyone... except an idiot Psychologist who says I was whacked out BEFORE my fake breakdown. I'm going to ressurect my old copy of Doom today... should be exciting! I've even gotta get my Creative Live 5.1 card to work in DOS."

Day 5: Virus!

Darksamurai: "I almost got a virus today... but Norton caught it... I flamed the idiot who sent it to me... it's been an exciting day!"

Day 6: Other people?

Darksamurai: "I was called to an intervention, as people think I've lost touch with society, and they're afraid I won't be able to function in the "Real World"... if I could get more advertising, I'd go from insane whack-job to eccentric genius...

Pease write to a couple of car companies and maybe Nabisco and tell 'em to support "Real Life, Meet my Computer, Fear my L337 Skill and Basement Survivor" and maybe you'll buy their products!"

Day 7: Sponsor?

Darksamurai: "Today I got my only sponsor... I'm not sure how exactly I'm supposed to fit "Preperation H" into my daily routine... but I'm sure if it's flammable, I'll probably be able to find something to do with it."

Day 8: Canceled:

Darksamurai: "Well... the dream is over. It's time to pack up and go home... oh wait... I AM home... anyway... my timeslot has been filled with a new reality show called "Help! My Date has Hemorroids!" (damn Preperation H people pulled their sponsorship)... which they assure me is still better than my show.

It's been fun... I guess I'll flick off my web-cam and turn my light back off. Normally, I'd do a little sad-sap show to make you feel guilty, and I'd probably hug everyone and tell them I'll miss them... but as it was just me... I'll just go drink a cup of coffee and go play some "Return to Castle Wolfenstein".

Peace out!

.

Quote: Originally posted by Ice Czar Eight days without p0rn ? ...

Can't handle the suffering....it's not worth it

Yeah... but I'm a writer... I got me some of that there "Creative License". I know the names of most of the folks who have been here awhile (You, Scape, Duck, DW, Akita, and a slew of other folks)... I guess it would be more accurate as put "People I've never met in real life"... but it sounded better the other way ;-)

HAHAHAHAHA dude that sum funnny stuff.....haha preperation H thats like the funniest **** man!!