Hello folks,

Time for another edition of the Daily Disturbance Guest Writer. This week, we've got our very own, eco-friendly, riding a bike with sandals j-dogg!!! Let's all give him a big thumbs up on this one...

__________________________________________________ _______________________________

Many of you know me as j-dogg but my real name is Jesse. Most of you know me as a guy who rides bikes all day, not necesarily true. This is Florida. It's hot, and muggy, and the humidity is enough to easily fog up windows in my car when it rains. Our state bird is the mosquito, or the snowbird, it's a heavily contested subject. Snowbirds are seasonal, they flock by the millions in their Cadillac ElDorados and Buick LeSabres. Golf communities are everywhere here. There are three in our rural area of Palm Bay (And I have been chased by security whilst blasting through all 3 of them on my Sting-Ray) the speed limits are ridiculuosly low in most of these areas. There are roads that are perfectly safe for 40 or 45mph and they're 30mph. I've had times just for fun where I would hop on my road bike and race 30-mph traffic, and most of the time, win.

But I digress, point is it's too hot to ride in the day anymore, so I ride at night now. I'll trade mosquito bites for sunburn and heat stroke any day of the week. Bikes are really neat pieces of machinery. For one, they get awesome fuel mileage, pending you actually properly hydrated yourself prior to setting out. Another thing, is the kind of bike I have. It's a Sting-Ray, many of you know that, but what a lot of people here don't understand is the work that goes into such a heavily customized ride.

The sissy bars had to be cut short because they interfered with the derailleur. The ape hangers were originnaly pushed forward for that chopper position with the arms fully extended but everytime I raced the bars would get pulled back to where they are now from the sheer force exerted on them when I race, so I left them that way. The stickshift mounting bracket was cutsom-machined to fit my frame and was machined by 3 guys excluding myself at the local Schwinn dealer with a piece off an old Schwinn Town & Country and a blow torch, a hammer and about 2 man hours total working time. They know me by my first name when I come in. It's a cool little mom & pop (in this case daughter and pop) bike shop and unlike most other customers I am allowed to work on my Sting-Ray in the back with the rest of the mechanics, because they understand I know a thing or two about bikes, especially Schwinns.

Many people ask me why I ride a bike. I'm 20 years old, I'm supposed to be getting speeding tickets in my riced-out Honda Civic with fart can exhaust pipe and El Cheapo cardboard body kit. I ride for the release. There is nothing like cruising on a Sting-Ray through the shops at Downtown Melbourne, reflections of streetlights seem to dance a tango alongside chrome fenders. Not a care in the world. You forget about everything. All the problems or the world seem to drown out in the sound of 30 to 40mph wind whipping in your face as you blast through the seemingly endless rows of little hole-in-the-wall craft stores, antique shops, girlie clothing shops and even a couple computer shops. As you climb 4th gear you weave in between dinner tables and streetlights. Sometimes other cyclists too. There's always that one guy who thinks he pwns the streets. I've seen him here often, he rides a red Trek. They think they are so cool and so fast on their expensive 3000-some-odd dollar bike. Here comes Big Bad J-Dogg on his 500-dollar (200 for the bike 300 in customization) Schwinn Sting-Ray.

Let me tell you kids, bikes are not fast, it's the people that ride them. I blew this guy away. I mean, it's getting to the point to where anything with tires wider than an inch or not powered by an internal combustion engine of some sort isn't comeptition anymore. Sure, I could mod my Probe. But the bike is more fun to ride, and I take more pride in the kills made on the Sting-Ray than the ones made in the Probe. Street racing is bad anyway, and they don't play here in Palm Bay. So I ride.

A Sting-Ray is a lot like a late-60's musclecar. Old skool. Never see them much anymore. They change their environment as they go along. People point and stare "Hey check out that bike where did you get it?" People I don't even know in traffic honk and wave, or give me a thumbs-up.

But the people I enjoy the most are the ones on the gas scooters and mini-bikes. They always try to screw with me.

I had a time where I was just cruising, not even trying to go fast, just enjoying the cool Saturday night air, when these two guys on mini-bikes came behind me. I didn't really care, I figured they would just go around me. But no, one of them slows down and gets next to me.

He looks over and has a big grin on his face, like he's actually going to try me. I recognize these losers. They race through the strip mall parking lot. Let's see how the hold up against a real bike.

We end up at a light and they are chattering and looking over with big smiles on their face. I just kind of look over behind dark sunglasses and stare them down. They already know it's on. Light goes green. Boom. I explode into 1st gear and leave the line so hard the only wheel spinning is the rear one because the front one is in the air. Wheelied through 3 out of 4 lanes in the intersection, the whole time they are next to me. We're pretty much even, I bang second, the whole front of the bike leaps into the air again, but just for a few seconds, and I set it back down and continue dishing out the pwnage. I'm wide open now that I can't lift the front wheel. The bike lurches forward with each power stroke, and they are fading behind me now that I'm in my favorite gear, 3rd. I abosultely *love* the 3rd to 4th gear shift because it's close-ratio. They start to top out. I'm on the homestretch baby, 2 more gears left. 4th gear. I'm pulling like a freight train. Pocket aces. Hey there Mr. Mini-Bike, your 300 dollar Wal-Mart-special weed-eater rocket isn't so fast after all now is it? I bang 5th. Traffic appears to be slowing down, no, that's just me doing the 40-mph speed limit. I look back and those two little pocket bikes have vanished into a pair of headlights trailing behind me. I'm what you call, gone

They wouldn't even look at me at the next light. I didn't just beat them, I raped them. It was total rape. I mean once I hit 3rd and 4th they didn't stand a chance.

I'm waiting for the day that I meet BA at a light in his Hemi. I'll be sure I have my camera stashed in my pocket.

__________________________________________________ _____________________________

Until next week, stay safe out there,

Rob

I would have never guessed that youd write about bikes........

There shoud be a Bike Holiday.......Nice write up..

Ok. You guys gotta try this. Go to google and type in J-Dogg. The first, second, third, fifth links belong to him. LOL or if your to lazy you can click the following link.

Edit: Found this http://www.googlism.com/who_is/j/j_dogg/

Pretty cool story & very well written. I enjoyed it.


My money's on the hemi.

Without taking the subject into consideration, you writing skill is very good. You seem to hail from the descriptive school, which is not an easy school to attend. Good job and filed away for future consideration.

By the way, if we meet at a stoplight someday, I will allow you to get in front of me...

Quote: Originally Posted by Cpt.Planet Ok. You guys gotta try this. Go to google and type in J-Dogg. The first, second, third, fifth links belong to him. LOL or if your to lazy you can click the following link. Edit: Found this http://www.googlism.com/who_is/j/j_dogg/

So wait, is J-dogg Blood Ninja(NSFW)?

J-Dogg.....

I found myself really wrapped in your story...Even though I wasn't entirely interested in the topic...I wanted to go on. Your ability to tell a story is pretty good man. It flows really well and makes me wan't to read more.

Mad Props to ya brother....

Good stuff....

Can't wait for the next one...
Digi

Thanks guys, and yes I do hail from the school of descriptive writing, was one of the top writers in my class.

BA are Hemis really as fast as people say they are? I read a story on ProbeTalk where a guy beat a RumbleBee in a 1st gen Probe GT, with mods. Barely beat him too, by maybe a carlength, if that.

Very well written j-dogg. And kudos for doing it old school style. The Sting Ray was a huge part of my o' so distant youth and it's great to see someone nearly 40 years later still having as much fun with one as I did.

Quote: Originally Posted by Cpt.Planet Ok. You guys gotta try this. Go to google and type in J-Dogg. The first, second, third, fifth links belong to him. LOL or if your to lazy you can click the following link. Edit: Found this http://www.googlism.com/who_is/j/j_dogg/

I read the title of the fourth one, bwahaha. Actually, i'm pretty sure I pointed that out at sometime, except it was mirrored on albinoblacksheep.

j-dogg, good story

Quote: I'm waiting for the day that I meet BA at a light in his Hemi. I'll be sure I have my camera stashed in my pocket.

ROFL! Dude a hemi will flat smoke your butt!

Quote: Originally Posted by WikkidOne ROFL! Dude a hemi will flat smoke your butt!

Well lets hope! Your not geting 9 miles to the gallon for nothing now...

Bump for the morning crew as well.

Wow, that was a very nice read, J-dogg. Myself, I know nothing about bikes, but not only did I enjoy the humor in your out-running gas-powered vehicles of any sort (which I had no idea bikes were capable of), but I enjoyed learning a little bit about the life of these bike riders such as yourself.

Oh, and I checked that Google of your name or whatever, and I'm guess that was really your cyber adventures? Holy hell, I'm at work and I was rofling back here in the office. =D THAT was one of the funniest things I've ever read!

Nice read J-Dogg! I enjoy bike riding myself, but strickly for pleasure. Have loads of trails, beaches and mountains here that can be explored.

It's good to have a release jdogg. Mine is paintballing, yours is biking. Good.

Excellent post! My friend in GA is a massive biker... generally puts in around 400 miles a week.
I completely have no idea what would drive someone to do that, but better than 400 hours at a xbox.