Okay... when I read a REALLY horrid peice of advice on MSN, I GOTTA parody it!

It's just a need...

So, without further ado, here's:

Darksamurai's 18 tips on what to do after being dumped!

NOTE: Again... this is NOT actual advice... if you follow any of these, it's time to talk to those nice young folks in the white coats... they'll keep you from hurting yourself or others!

DO NOT FOLLOW ANYTHING PRINTED BELOW. IT WILL LEAVE YOU THE PATHETIC SHELL OF A PERSON; PROBABLY IN PRISON, WHERE YOUR NEXT DATE WILL BE A 300 POUND GOLLIATH NAMED "BUBBA"!

1. Cry and shake uncontrollably. Ignore friends and family. If they try to get through to you, scream "She said she'd always love me!"

2. Don't seek professional help... what are they gonna do? Fill the hole in your pathetic life from the one person who would ever love your sorry ass leaving you, for 60 bucks a pop?

3. Stalk her. She didn't mean it! Women love it when their ex-boyfriends call 300 times a day!

4. Call her parents and tell them she's made a terrible mistake as you're carrying her child... ask if they've seen "Junior"?

5. Join the Military... having someone screaming in your face that you're the sorriest excuse for a human being they've ever met at 5 in the morning will make you feel loved.

6. Send her your ear. It worked for Vincent Van Gogh!

7. Call her and tell her you're masturbating to her picture, and you can do it whenever you want since she left! Tell her it's still better than the real thing was with her!

8. Call her answering machine every 20 minutes to tell her that you don't care that she left, and you're not even thinking about it!

9. Start drinking... that'll help things get better! If all else fails, at least every person in the bar will look good (at the time anyway).

10. Stop taking care of yourself... after you grow a beard, stink like a sewer, dress like a hobo, lose your job and push away all forms of social life, she'll pity you enough to come back!

11. Travel... going someplace like say... Iraq... it'll allow you to see exotic places, and technically... it's not suicide under the law!

12. Date a trashy prostitute... she'll never love you, and it'll keep you from getting hurt again at only 30 bucks a pop! You also won't be surprised when she sells all your stuff for her drug habit.

13. Swear off women. Tell your football buddies they look really cute and ask them out.

14. Get a "Do it yourself" castration kit delivered by Loreena Bobbit Inc!

15. Join a cult... tell her you're "Following the Comet" for her!

16. Walk over to your ex-girlfriend's house in a trench coat and nothing else. When she opens the door, open the coat and yell "See what you're missing!"

17. Tell her you're not going to eat, sleep or bathe until she comes back. Tell the paramedics "I showed her!" when they drag you away.

18. (submitted by Anathema): Buy one of those ultra-realistic love dolls, casually invite your ex over for a friendly dinner, introduce her to your new woman and hope she'll become jealous and make attempts to get you back.

19. don't forget to tell her that her sister is better in bed any way.

lol 7 and 12 are great

,,

lol I didn't see # 5.

Gonna have to print out the list and use it for a point of reference lol

lol

ROFL @ 18

haha rofl @ all of them, and i like number 19 lol

thats good advice im already following #7 with my X's carmen electra jennie mcarthy and ms photoshop spears oh and about #19 blow up dolls are kinda expensive would a hefty sack with a wig tied onto it and some magic marker features do?

LOL good stuff