Well gang... these last few days have been tough... I'm tryin' to find topics suitable for PR, but I think it's just too much to go through! I'm not giving up on doing more "outside the box" (in corporate speak) posts, but I think I need a little time to get something everyone is gonna like. Peace!


Yes... there are a lot of problems in the world. What we need is powerful solutions!

The world need to have the following software:

Norton's Anti-Terrorist 1.0:

Not only detects terrorists trying to infect "the system", it also will quarantine them if they can't just be "deleted".

Defective and Worthless Products Spotter (beta):

Take your laptop to the mall and type in the item you're about to buy! Is it a total POS or is the greatest thing since hard-drives went to gigabytes?

Wastin' cash in this day and age just isn't smart!

Spam Serial Killer 2.37:

This controversial software goes forth an not only detects and removes spam, but flames the sender, and lists the company in their database for "Spam Serial Killer" executives to hunt down and "take care of" the corporation in question.

Grand Theft Auto "virtual driver" 8.2:

Just plug this product into your cigarette lighter, and your car will be driven like an insane madman as you run errands through the city.

Smart President XP:

This handy little program is better than the real thing! It doesn't embarass the country, it doesn't have any prejudice, and it doesn't have problems with interns (although hackers might have "The President" say some weird stuff... but we're all used to that).

Free Sex 10.02:

Yep... who wants to wait for it? This program stimulates parts of your brain and feels better than the real thing! Any time you want!

It doesn't complain it's too tired, upset with you for doing (insert dumb thing you did), or argue on why you don't like it's mother. Sex without the hassles of a normal relationship. This product is also geared to solve a lot of the world's overpopulation by keeping people by themselves!

Music tracker 3.0

Tired of waiting to find the next band your going to like? This program hooks into the latest file-sharing software and tracks your downloads for what you like... then issues a short database of songs you'd probably like. Never have to try to drag good band names out of your friends again!

Virtual Ego 2007

Feeling insecure about talking to Susie Beautiful? Feel like a wimp for not fighting a 300 pound golliath in a bar? Having "male difficulties" that are bumming you out? Hook into "Virtual Ego"! This software interfaces with your brain-waves to give your ego a real boost. Never feel bad again!

Please note that prolonged usage will require "Arrogance
Tamer 3.01".

Raise Justification 8.3

Tired of trying to put together charts, graphs, and a speech on why you deserve that promotion? Let "Raise Justification" do the work for you! Just type in what you do all day, and it'll come up with a beautiful report that puts the truth in a better light!

Example:

Type in "I sleep half the day... in between, I play games on my computer and Xerox my butt on the copy machine.

"Raise Justification" will come back with:

"Energy conservation aware. Improving computer and hand-eye coordination skills daily. Not afraid of doing what it takes to leave an impression in this company."

ROFL!!!!!!!

lmao

smart president xp might pose a few issues programming tho...