Well gang, I've been thinking...

Will anyone here learn something from one of my posts that will change their lives?

Is what I do here important on some sort of cosmic level?

Will I be remembered as the insane quack I am?

On that note... the following list of websites list the way to build an atomic weapon in your basement out of household chemicals... (J/K!)

Seriously (well... semi-seriously), let me get goin' with today's post!


TOP FIVE MOMENTS IN HISTORY EXPLAINED:

1. Vikings are supposed to have discovered the USA...

What probably happened:

"Sven, where the hell are we?"
"buggered if I know..."
"You are the WORST navigator..."
"That's probably 'cause I'm the cook!"
"Oh... crap....Where's the Navigator?"
"Damned if I know!"
"Uh oh... here come the natives."
"Yeah... we better split. I don't have enough men to conquer this place... some idiot will probably come back here someday... of course, he'll get all the credit."
"Life is harsh, sir."

2. Ben Franklin Discovers Electricity:

"Hey Ben... whatcha doin'?"
"I wanna see if my kite will catch fire if it gets hit by lightening..."
"Dude! That'd kick ass!"
"Damn... the lightning keeps missing my kite... damn kite keeps swaying all over the place."
"Hey, you need a little weight, here's the key to my house..."

3. The Boston Tea Party:

"We'll show those Englishmen just how smart we are! Throw this tea in the harbor!"
"Shouldn't we just steal it and get the hell out of here?"
"Nah... if we throw enough tea in the ocean, we'll have ALL THE TEA WE CAN DRINK for the rest of our lives!!!"
"Uh... what about the tide?"
"Well... uhhh..."
"And isn't this salt water?"
"Look! Are you part of this protest raid or not?"
"Sorry... sorry... shall I throw MORE tea into the harbor?
"Uhh... throw it on that wagon over there... keep it quiet."
"Yes sir..."

4. The Egyptians build the Pyramids:

"The Pharoah says build it..."
"Look, we are already having problems with the slave labor union. They aren't very good at striking, but they are masters of guilt."
"He says do it!"
"Okay... okay... I'll build a big triangle out of blocks... geez, I wish I had a big alien ship or something to help... make it a helluva lot easier than building molds and mixing rock all day..."
"Bite your tongue."

5. England Takes over Hong Kong:

"Dude! You're trafficing drugs!"
"Yeah... so?"
"That's illegal!"
"It is?"
"YES! Now... give us your land, or we'll arrest you!"
"Okay, okay... don't get your knickers in a twist. Can I have it back soon? My wife isn't going to be able to hold her head up at her Mah Jong game if we don't own Hong Kong anymore."
"Heh, heh... how bout we talk about this again in several decades..."

Okay... I know this was off topic, but I'm tired as hell today... I'll be back on track tomorrow (I hope).

lol..I'm sure the vikings were doing some drinking somewhere in the story

I'd nitpick the historical facts, but that was too goddamn funny to complain !

Ded, a lot of history is subject to speculation... let's face it... they discover somethin' "new" about history all the time!

Add: Although... I gotta admit... I wasn't really aiming for accuracy much