Your ol' pal the Samurai has been out and about doing interviews with hardcore nerds about what they would do if they either A: won the lottery... or B: could defy reality.

These are the top five geekiest responses!!!

Pointdexter "Spaz" Gurman (age 43) had this to say:

"Wow... if I won the lottery, I'd COMPLETELY redecorate my Mom's basement. I'd also be able to afford a signed copy of Captain Kirk's original uniform from Star Trek... it was actually ripped during episode 4 of the original series! It's even got his sweat and bood on it! The best part is someday, I'll be able to clone William Shatner from his own blood sample from his old uniform! Piccard is a wuss, Kirk would have kicked Borg ASS (sorry mom!), all across the galaxy!"

Neil lipschitz (age 17) says that:

"If I could defy reality, I'd have big muscles implanted all over my body... SUPER big muscles! I'd kick hiney like superman! Then I'd go to the beach and kick sand in all those people's faces that kicked sand in mine before I got these big muscles... yeah... that's be neato..."

Darksamurai (age 26):

"If I won the lottery, I'd build a massive machine... something to help me with my plans of world domination. After I get it built, I plan on calling Washington, and telling the President he's my bitch... and if he doesn't start dancing to my tune, my reports can show how he played with those numbers in Florida... I also plan on conquering small nations, and turning the globe to the practice of "Darksamurai-ism". All I need is a good computer... something along the lines of a Sun-Fire mainframe with 60 processors... that'll fix everything..."

Douglas Neidermeyer (age 37) replied:

"I would have to build like... a castle... with like knights and stuff. I'd keep oil boiling all the time in case those bastards at the IRS tried to beseige my holdings... I'd also wear like armor, and carry a big sword, and I'd talk like "Thou hast taken mine last cent, IRS! Thine mothers were as stable-wenches!"
Also... I'd like... have a princess... who looked like Brittany Spears or Brooke Shields (Spears and Shields... get it?)... and she'd think I was a brave knight instead of a 5' 1", dorky, accountant...

Yeah... I can see it all now...It'd be cool to have all this outside of my weekly D&D meetings... I play a paladin!."

Francis 'Shut-in" leiberhan (age 28) said:

"I'd buy seventy 200 gig hard-drives... I'd FINALLY have space for all my porn! So what if my last date was a jar of vaseline, in my head, I'm sleeping with better looking women than YOU'LL ever have!

Score one for Francis!

I also have an IQ of 193, I've developed massively cool websites and I can probably hammer down more Jolt in a day than you drink all month user-boy! I am SO much better than the rest of you humans. If I could defy reality, I'd leave you morons so far behind... the distance would be a number YOU couldn't count to... IT'D BE OVER 10!"

Well gang, that's the round-up... Still, I should do a couple of honorable mentions:

Tom "Tiny-Tim" Zalanski:

"I would do like the did in "Gatica" and have implants put into my legs making me taller!"

Tony "The Nerd" Zigliono

"Yeah, I'd get a newer computer so I could keep better track of these here racing slips... Da boss says if I keep on top of it, he'll forgive that little hackin' mix-up on my salami-slicin' schemes."

Susie "four-eyes" Black

"*sniff* I'd buy a T-1 line *sniff* so I could have more cyber-sex *sniff*. I'm never going to score in real *sniff* life, so it'd be nice to have an on-line orgy... with *SNORT* a bunch of guys who will never see me."

Hank "Mudflaps" Jarvis

"Yep, I'd build a web-site dedicated to pick-up trucks. I'd have nekkid women on 'em so I'd get all the youngins comin' round. I'd also have a forum where ya'll could talk about 4X4in' and what kind of motor ya'll got... and did I mention nekkid women on the hood of every truck?"

Ahh, the darksamurai strikes with a good dose of humor once more.

Quote: Originally posted by Darksamurai Francis 'Shut-in" leiberhan (age 28) said: "I'd buy seventy 200 gig hard-drives... I'd FINALLY have space for all my porn! ..."

IronSerif said:

"I want a leech access account"

once again, my first hearty laugh of the day , now it really makes me look forward to going to FRY's today!!!

thats good man really funny shiznet