So when's everyone get done school? I think my last day of classes is Dec. 13? Give or take a day lol.

Gonna be a hectic week and a half over here, I'm sure that's gonna be the same with everyone lol!

So I can't stay long today...gotta finish my VB project and finish working with these packet sniffers and vulnerability scanners...woopie

Joke time! I've heard these two before, but a friend sent'em in an email so they deserve to get posted. Enjoy


A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them. The he grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"

"No, what?"

"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table...whole!"

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats everything in sight. Sorry, I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves.

Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar.

He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out and eats it.

The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey just did?" he asks. "No, What?" replied the man.

"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!" said the bartender.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he measures everything first."

Two hillbillies walk into a bar. While having a shot of whiskey, they talk about their moonshine operation.

Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwhich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress.

One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, "Kin ya swallar?"
The woman shakes her head no.

"Kin ya breathe?"
The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no.

The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up the back of her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right
butt cheek a lick with his tongue.

The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and
the obstruction flies out of her mouth.

As she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar.

His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heerd of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver', but I ain't never seen nobody do it!"


Have a good one guys, go be productive

Hind Lick Manuever!

Nice ones IS, keep em comin....