Ever wondered what happens to all the data you inadvertently create every time you buy sometime with a credit card and/or present one of those store reward cards?
Somebody somewhere is sifting through it, and is working out how to use it to spam you more effectively.
For example, someone has obviously noticed the amount of Cod Liver Oil my parents buy, theorised that they’re the increasingly wrinkly side of 50, and has sold their address to a junk mail magazine called “Grey Power”.

So, how can you avoid this sort of thing? One option is to use cash for everything, refuse to have anything to do with store reward cards, and never send of warranty registration forms, but where’s the fun in that? It’s much more fun to screw with their data. I’ve got a few ideas about how to do this… just as well really, otherwise this would be a very short article.


When completing warranty registration forms, add a couple of extra, random, middle names. For example, instead of being boring old John Smith, put down John Ramses Onomatopoeia Niblick Smith. This will also identify who’s selling your details on.

You might also want to think about fouling up their demographics by being creative with which boxes you tick … how about ticking the relevant boxes to indicate that you’re 18, divorced, have 5 children, live with relatives, and earn more than 100k a year?


The data collected from store reward cards are also open to abuse. For a start, get two cards. Either from different stores, or two from the same store, but registered to different names. Then, divide your shopping up – put most of your shopping on one card, but put all the alcohol, nappies (diapers) and 18 (R) rated DVDs on the other. This will guarantee that you’ll look like an average Joe to one store, but look like a really bad parent to the other.

If you’re a single guy living alone, occasionally throw a few more feminine items into your trolley (cart) to make you look less sad when it comes to the checkout (tampons, hairspray, KY jelly, etc). Although if you’re trying to make it look like you’re not single because you care about what the person on the checkout might think of you, you really need to re-examine your priorities.

Consider forming a shopping co-operative with a few of your neighbours. Work it out so 1 person buys all the fruit, one person buys all the meat, and some guy buys all the condoms & makeup, for example. Pretty soon word will get out that your area is populated solely by Buddhists, cavemen & promiscuous crossdressers … which may put off the junk mailers and cold callers, but with quotas being what they are, I wouldn’t guarantee it

Damn fine writting Johnny! I think me and the soon to be wifey will implement some of your recommendations.

I like the bit about the 18 yr old, divorced w/ 5 kids... etc etc...

Ha, I always put down Dr., instead of Mr.

Very nice indeed, I commonly do similar things when getting junk mail that they want you to fill out and return. I have signed up with one spam email account just using the first letter of my name (to track who they gave my address to) and another with the last letter.
I have also used Dr., Rev., and Mrs. (when I use a shortened version of my first name, I go by my middle name)

I've come to the door before in nothing but a pair of underwear, beer in one hand, and a cigarette in the other when the Jehovah Witness came a'calling. Told me that I was going to wind up in hell for my sinful ways and I told him, "Great! That's where my friends are anyway!".

It's really sad the state of affairs that our commercial marketing world has gotten to where it is today. From simply looking at an address, they can now determine with a high degree of certainty a great many things such as what type of industry you are in, average household income, etc. I was watching that on CNN the other day and just from a simple survey form they can determine a great many things.

I've always been one to buck the system when confronted with prying questions and will continue to do so until the day I die.

Good post, JE.

Rob

What an odd coincidence, my middle name IS Ramses Onomatopoeia Niblick. Who'da thunk it?

this reminds me of the grocery store "discount" cards. which as everyone knows, the discount is merely that the store bumped up prices for people who don't have cards, and if you have a card you get everything at the pre-bump price.

there was a time when those first came out that everyone would swap up cards because the grocers were using those cards to track peoples purchases in order to create a better demographic for what certain people buy, how often, and how much they spend on certain products.

i participated for a while, not even sure who's cards i have aymore for Krog3r and F00d L!0n.

Those grocery cards get you the cheapest gas in town at Krog3r.