Here’s my Top 10 of things to do with a time machine. If you were expecting some tasteful suggestions, you’ve come to the wrong place. Anyone that’s easily offended should get the f*** out now.


#1: Travel back to a certain grassy knoll near a book repository & shout "DUCK!"

#2: Take Martin Luther King a bullet-proof jacket & helmet & tell him "no really - it's going to be the next big thing!"

#3: Travel back in time & slip a contraceptive into Tekxoid's parents water supply

#4: Travel forward in time, steal a space ship, then travel back in time to the early fifties, travel to the moon, & leave a Russian flag behind & a note saying "neener neener neener!"

#5: Find the earliest copy of the bible & insert a disclaimer "This is a work of fiction, any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental"

#6: Travel back to Woodstock so you can actually be there, rather than being one of the bull****ting 90% of those who claimed to have been there.

#7: (Obviously) – travel forward in time & get information on share prices & who won what sporting event, then travel back to the present, bet appropriately & become richer than Croesus.

#8: Travel back in time & persuade Hitler & his early cronies to adopt pink as the colour for their uniforms, in the hope that no-one would take them seriously from then on.

#9: Travel back & shoot them all, being careful not to involve your other self in the crossfire. Ok, it would lack finesse … but what the hell.

#10: Do nothing, because nothing you do will have any effect. For example, saving JFK, Martin Luther King, or shooting Hitler would be laudable, but if it was going to work, it would already have worked … and there’d be no need to think about doing it.
Either that, or you’d overshoot several billion years too early, and no doubt have to take a leak … probably in the pool of primordial slime where DNA first coalesced, killing off all life on Earth before it even began. In which case you wouldn’t be around to go back & take that whiz anyway.

The "pee in the DNA" one reminds me of that old joke about time travel and the guy spitting in the pool of slime..

And ending life on earth..

If I had a time machine, I'd probably wait on the shore of the Americas hidden in the trees with a 7.62mm rifle with expanding rounds for Cortez and his people to come. As soon as the first foot hits the shore, his head disappears in a cloud of red mist. Azteks keep their culture and their treasure for a hundred more years.

Who wants to bet a second person will step down?

Quote: Originally Posted by Jonny English #3: Travel back in time & slip a contraceptive into Tekxoid's parents water supply

Mean words, my only weakness...how...how did you know?
#11: Travel back in time & slip a date rape drug into JE's martini
when he was blind dating that chick who turned out to be a guy.

travel back and kill alexander grambell. i hate the phone......

Win the lottery...a couple of times at least

reminds me of this book. Haven't read it, but it's pretty ridiculous.

Quote: Originally Posted by ducati748r travel back and kill alexander grambell. i hate the phone......

Hehe, guy was the worst kind of deadbeat thief anywyas,l0l0l.

Hmmm....

I would travel a year back in time and steer my road bike the other way to avoid that storm drain.

make sure that Paul Walker never acted in a movie... lol

I'd like to travel back a few hundred years or so to see what the west was really like before the white man came.

Hell, I wouldn't mind going back just a few years to b*tch-slap myself before I got involved with my last girlfriend.

Rob

Quote: Originally Posted by j-dogg Hmmm.... I would travel a year back in time and steer my road bike the other way to avoid that storm drain.

I must already have a time machine, I knew Jdogg would say that......

Quote: Originally Posted by ducati748r travel back and kill alexander grambell. i hate the phone......

That's Alexander Graham Bell. Not grambell.

But if anyone was going to go back in time then their effects must've already happened but if we go back to change them... predestined something...


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa

my head hurts!!!

Quote: Originally Posted by Slider That's Alexander Graham Bell. Not grambell.

sorry i was typing quick, thanks for pointing out my faults. now where did i put that time machine so i can go back and type a little slower.

Quote: Originally Posted by _Sexy_Pants_ reminds me of this book. Haven't read it, but it's pretty ridiculous.

Reminded me of that simpsons episode where homer tries to fix the toaster and goes back in time.

if i were to go back in time, i would go back to the time this girl asked me out it 6th grade and i said no.
i cant belive how stupid i was.
i would go back and bitch slap myself and say yes.

Travel forward in time a get the latest computer, come back to present with a 1terahertz compter and say neener neener neener

ohhhh another idea
go back in time, buy stock in microsoft and ebay.
bling bling

I'd go back in time and see the people I loved that have passed on one last time.

I also don't think I would try and change history, but I would love to be a fly on the wall to the great mysteries of history, just way too curious I guess

and Finally, to buy a ButtLoad of Microsoft Stock when it first appeared....