Well today is the big day....Election Day 2004!

And in honor the intense day ahead of us....time for some political humor

Most of these are quotes taken from late night shows and what not.

Not taking any sides on this one folks, we're gonna hit both sides evenly lol.

Disclaimer: Please no political discussions and what not lol

So first up....the Bush humor. Enjoy!


"An aide to the prime minister of Canada called President Bush a moron. Well that's not fair. Here's a guy who never worked a day in his life, got rich off his Dad's money, lost the popular vote and ended up president. That's not a moron, that's genius!" —Jay Leno


"As of yesterday, the Bush administration still hadn't found the source of the White House leak that outed a woman as a CIA operative. To recap, here are the things President Bush can't find: The source of the leak, weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Saddam Hussein, Osama bin laden, the link between Saddam and Osama bin laden, the guy who sent the anthrax through the mail, and his butt with two hands and a flashlight." —Tina Fey, Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"


"Down in Florida in the early voting, there were computer glitches, confusing ballots, long lines and chaos. And when President Bush heard about this, he said, 'Mission accomplished!'" --David Letterman


"During the debate, Bush was asked by a lady to name three mistakes he's made. And Bush responded, 'This debate, the last debate and the next debate.'" —Bill Maher


"President Bush announced he has a five-point strategy for getting out of Iraq. Points six through 10 will be handled by the Kerry administration." —David Letterman


"Campaigning in Iowa yesterday President Bush vowed he will not raise taxes in the next four years. He said I believe it is hard, very difficult to raise taxes when you are not president." —Craig Kilborn

Time for the Kerry side! BANG!


"John Kerry met with the AARP. They were having their convention. He gave a speech, then Kerry introduced his retirement plan — his wife, Teresa." —Jay Leno


"John Kerry says the 'W' in George W. Bush stands for 'Wrong.' But he still can't explain what John Kerry stands for." —David Letterman

"This is so weird. I saw the new John Kerry campaign commercial and he says, 'I'm John Kerry and I approve of this message — if I have one.'" —Craig Kilborn


"John Kerry keeping a low profile this week. He said he wanted to get away and go someplace where no one would expect to see him. So I guess he showed up at his old seat in the Senate. Nobody's going to look for him there." —Jay Leno


"Gas prices are up, the stock market is down, Iraq is a mess and John Kerry is saying, 'How am I gonna beat this guy?" —David Letterman


"Courtney Love said she once escorted Kerry to a concert. John Kerry once went out with Courtney Love and he's questioning Bush's judgment." —Jay Leno


"Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. I'm telling you this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton." —David Letterman



Alright guys I'm done for now. There's a ton more political humor out there, but I gotta jump. Have fun today!

lmfao! Thanks for those....

Here's something that I thought was kind of funny...

Did you know that it's a state law in Indiana that while the voting polls are open, not only are the state and county offices are closed but they also prohibit the sale of alcohol?

Makes you wonder how in the world that connection happened, huh?

I gues if they didn't, Ernhardt Jr. would be Governor and Wallce would be the Secretary of State.

Rob

We dont need policy, we need humor in the world

I have a feeling that whoever wins, America loses.

Is it just me?

-MF

Quote: Originally Posted by IronSerif "Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages. I'm telling you this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton." —David Letterman

Haha! On a side note, voter turn out is gonna be off the charts. I just got back from the library, doing double duty as the poll, and wow, long lines!

LoL! Those were really funny! Thanks for the laughs!

Quote: Originally Posted by Monsignor Funkibut I have a feeling that whoever wins, America loses. Is it just me? -MF

Nope im for that side aswell...im not in america...but over the next 5 years things will go worng as they have the last 5 years. Kerry has a strong side - enviromentally hes sound - actually has a plan on mooving form petrol to rape seed oil - its a moove no-one dared before and if he has the right state of mind, he can do it well, with other nations following?

Bush screwed up the world for what it was - hanging in limbo. When you consider the state of the world, limbo is a good place to be. This whole iraq thing and afganstan beofre it was the worng way to go though. Retallitation is not the answer to everything...most cases its the answer to almost nothing. Why destory what the iraqi and aftanistinian people were already left with? Try seeing outside the box and see that they are pissed coz of the state Bush and Bush before left their country in. Rebuilt - help - co-operation are the ways forward, but in neutral terms instead of having the US army in there.

Bush certianly didnt help with the Kioto Treaty - the Texican idiot just doesnt understand what happens outside of his state boarder.

What America needs to do in the next 5 years is quite simple - help the world with its strength, instead of destroying it, and taking everyone with it (i.e. , id prefer to have the british army back, thanks). America for once could be charitable to nation who seek help, shelter and prosperity. Boasting and war, like the last 5 years doesnt do anyone any good - and neither do nuclear weapons. There should be some sort of vowe taken or a act of disarmament taken by amercia to either - use neaclear deterent as a defencse against dangers foreign to the world comunity - Asteroids, meteorite and Aliens if they dont drink beer, or to disarm them completly and has no nukes at all - wouldnt it be nice not to have that threat looming over your head anymore? So much talk over the impending nuclear war simply wont hppen if there are no nuke in the first place.

People need to speak up and see the world for what it is. Its a problem we have in the UK right now. No one will stand up to Blair and take him out of power because they risk loosing their 6 figure salary and bonuses. Its all money. Without it in an ideal world things would be setlled so much easier - trekky sort of stature I know, but its a thought none the less. But we've gone beyond that sort of state now - money is everyhting and no-one wil move of their ass and tell the people that are doing wrong to this country and others. Revolution always sparks to mind, that or a complete trust shift from the left wing twats we have now to a party like the UKIP (a very british party).

Im dredding the world if bush is to take a 2nd term...2 planes in 2 towers will just not be enough to the "enemy" that Bush sees, a whole airline company might just be.....that or a massive shift in power somewhere. Too much is focussed these days on the economy the terrorist - who always seem to be invisible to the onlooker. Step outside the box and open your eyes. The world will implose on itself if somthing isnt done...and very quickly. People need to start talking to each other in peace and union. It seems in this world, boarders cant separate us anymore - boarders are nasty blockades that divide us and turn us against each other.

Well thats my 2 pence on the subject at hand. Read at your lesure... just an 18 year old Brits view on things.

At ease that noise; now that we see who will win you better be careful...I hear he has an appetite for fish and chips.

I appreciate your unqualified opinion and I'm glad you choose to dabble in American politics.

Quote: Originally Posted by Monsignor Funkibut I have a feeling that whoever wins, America loses. Is it just me? -MF

Yup, it's just you. I'm happier than a 17 year old with a Visa Platinum at the Bunny Ranch.

Quote: Originally Posted by Rob Here's something that I thought was kind of funny... Did you know that it's a state law in Indiana that while the voting polls are open, not only are the state and county offices are closed but they also prohibit the sale of alcohol? Makes you wonder how in the world that connection happened, huh? I gues if they didn't, Ernhardt Jr. would be Governor and Wallce would be the Secretary of State. Rob

Being a loyal hoosier i had to go about asking why this was....

first it seems we're not the only state that has the ban of alcohol while the polls are open. and the reason this is law is cause back in the day politicians or their reps. were show up and get ppl drunk so said ppl would vote for them. that and drunk voters seem to have more problems figuring out how to vote then sober ones. and im not sure why the gov offices are closed. i can only assume its to make sure everyone gets to go vote and that the gov, mayor, other elected officials have a reason to not be in office and can visit polling centers. that last ones just a guess though.
even though im not a follower of nascar i dont think youd be too far off with ernhardt jr. as gov. in indiana. I just waiting for the Bayh for prez. bumper stickers.

Yup, the bars are closed until the voting ends up here in Maine too. I don't think it has anything to do with responsible voting or anything like that though. It's just that the election is like any other sport, once the vote counting starts, the bars open and people sit around, drink beer and watch the numbers get bigger on the big screen TV.