A snail walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a beer. The bartender tells him he doesnt serve snails. The snail asks again and gets the same response. He asks for a third time and by now the bartender is getting pretty ticked off. The snail asks yet again and the bartender has had enough. He picks up the snail, walks over to the open door, and throws it as far as he can. Then he goes back to work and doesn't think much of it.

Three years later the bartender is wiping down his bar and he sees that same snail crawl up onto a barstool. The snail peers up and him and goes "What the hell did you do that for!?".


Poor snail

Two guys walk into a bar. The third on ducks.

ok, sorry, maybe this one is better if you haven't heard it yet...


This guy walks up to the bartender and says "I bet you $300 I can stand on the bar right here and piss into that shot glass on the other end and not spill a drop. The bartender says "you're insane, but if you want me to take your money, i guess i can do that." He stands up, pisses all over the bar, everywhere except for in the glass he had indicated. HWhen he's doe he goes back to the bartender and pays up, laughing the whole time. The bartender says "Well thanks, but what the hell are you laughing for? I just took you for $300." The guy says "See those four guys in the corner? I bet them $300 each that i could piss all over your bar and not only would you not be mad, you'd thank me afterward."