I'm huge in honesty. I never lie to others. I was taught by parents, grandparents, teachers, and priests not lie at a very young age. I'll lie to my-self like once in awhile though. For example when I'm at the bench I'll say, "adding another 20lbs on the bar won't hurt my back." I know it will and it does. Thats my proof that lies only do more harm than good.

I have a relative who will lie almost about everything. As a result his mother doesn't believe most of the things that he says that are probably the truth.


Oh yeah.. if you ever tell a lie, people will probably not respect you as much.

Nice post Anathema!

Quote: Originally Posted by Anathema Yep, the title says it all. Several of my close friends and I have recently been the victim of a person who lacked the skills to act with honesty and integrity, and let me tell you, it sucks. Now, before I really get into my post, I want to say that I know nobody is perfect, and I know that sometimes, it's hard to be 100% honest with people over the entire course of your life. I won't give any further details on the situation, though. Sometimes, we hate the truth. We ignore the truth, or we can't handle the truth. I wonder which is worse: Getting the truth up front from the party who should be telling it, or being told the truth by a third party later after being taken in by the first party's manipulative lies. Personally, I think the first option is better. In times gone by, I used to be a person who had a hard time being completely honest with people. By that I mean, I hated to hurt people's feelings by being too candid or blunt, so sometimes I'd tell little white lies so I didn't hurt feelings or create rifts between myself and others. The older I get, the less need I see for such a mindset. I'm making an effort to become better at handling the honest opinions of others, and I am making progress that I am quite happy with. In addition to this, I am also making a better effort to be the respectable, honest person I could not always be in the past. Before I get too far away from my point, I'll go ahead and make it. It's always a good idea to step back once in a while, and look at how your actions will impact the people you are intending to have an effect on. It's easier to operate from a "shoot first, ask questions later" point of view, but sometimes, it hurts a heck of a lot more than it helps. I don't think we always treat one another as well as we could, and perhaps being more honest with ourselves and each other is a good way to start. I'm sure this post might sound very preachy and holier-than-thou, but please know that I wasn't trying to convey that sense at all. Anyway, if none of my ramblings in this make any sense to you, chalk it up to my lack of decent sleep over several days, and the fact that I'm maybe slightly off my rocker. Be excellent to each other.

This post should ring home for a few of our members that I think need to REALLY learn from it they know who they are thats for sure.......

hey, are you talking to me.... another great post.

i am one of thoes people at times. i can profess it to be true too. i am on the way to recovery though, day by day i am getting a little better but i do have relapses every now and then. but i am trying to live by bill and ted's words.

Sometimes a lie is vital for getting along with the people around you ... three questions that you should either respond to with a lie, or silence, imediately come to mind:

"Is my arse getting bigger?"

"Do you know how fast you were going?"

"What do you _really_ think about Ariel Sharron?"

Liars' pants can catch on fire or they can hang themselves from a telephone wire, for all I care !!!

Truth, way good, hurt me with it, if you have to. ...go ahead,
but to lie to me...now that will not only cause me to have to deal with the situation the first time, but when the truth comes out, and it "always" does. I have to deal with it again, and all the "whys" that go along with it.
That, well that pisses me off. I have grown to never get mad at the truth, disapointed, sad, but never pissed, like a lie will will get me...
Johnny has a good point above, there are sometimes it's better to avoid an answer, but things that are of importance that affect others...the TRUTH be told, and all will love ya for it later...after the shock wears off. Good post, even better timming Anathema! you go girl!

Quote: Originally Posted by Crazy_J Oh yeah.. if you ever tell a lie, people will probably not respect you as much. Nice post Anathema!

This is true. Also, I think that major lies (like faking a whole friendship/relationship in an effort to get attention or get laid -- and I've been the pawn on that chess board, too) show a complete lack of respect for the person who is being taken for a ride.

I personally have no time for people who can't be nice enough to tell me if they think my breath stinks, or if they think I'm a fat, crazy freak, or if they're only talking to me because they want to get into my pants or something. Sure, the truth can hurt like a mofo, but I'd rather have my feelings dinged up a bit initially, rather than having them blown all to pieces later.

Thanks for the feedback, guys. Great replies all around.

I used to have a serious problem with lying...... you can ask Ben about it sometime, he might give you an idea. It got bad enough that I had to leave some good friends because I was tired of lying and afraid to tell the truth. It ruined a large part of my childhood, and I don't think I can every fully recover from it. It's good to have friends you can trust, and it hurts to be the guy nobody trusts.

"Honesty without compassion is brutality" and I am just brutal. Good post you crazy freak, the only unfortunate thing is that most people lie to themselves so much that they don't even realize that they are lying to others. You keep telling a lie and eventually it becomes your truth. Just remember that "actions speak louder than words" and that a jack ass will always show his/herself in way they treat others, even though they may be real nice to you. F@#$ what people say what are they doing?

Oh yeah and your breath stinks oh and you have a booger

Quote: Originally Posted by psychofunk Oh yeah and your breath stinks oh and you have a booger

Thanks. By the way, your fly is open, and I think psychofunk jr. is trying to make a surprise appearance. (Isn't honesty GREAT? )

Quote: Originally Posted by Anathema Thanks. By the way, your fly is open, and I think psychofunk jr. is trying to make a surprise appearance. (Isn't honesty GREAT? )

It's not THAT suprising.