Why oh why do I keep reading this inane crap? Do I hate myself? Is it that I keep thinking that I'm going to find some tidbit of delight at the bottom of the proverbial sludge bucket?

This week, MSN tackles the 75 things every man should know...

The 75 Skills Every Man Should Master - Page1 - MSN Lifestyle: Men

I'm not going to mock all 75 things (I'm still in college; am taking 2 different martial art forms, I'm in the middle of fixing a car (I'll add a worklog to the Pimp Rides forum here shortly), my job has been keeping me jumping and I'm thinking about adding more... because I obviously never want to ever sleep EVER AGAIN), but I will say that there is plenty here I'm havin' a problem with!

1. Be psychic... with superpowers... 'cause superpowers just kick ass.

2. Learn how to kill a man with a sharpened toothbrush and/or a spoon. (Note: these can be learned either in the military or in prison... or maybe a fat camp... either way).

3. Destroy something weak. Mount it on a wall.

4. Make an ass of yourself for the experience.

5. Since we brought up learning Quantum Physics... why stop there? Get out there and start a perpetual motion machine, figure out cold fusion and, and stop by Taco Bell and pick me up some dark matter.

6. Wound a friend... preferably by "Kicking some ass" and/or breaking his grip on your wrist... THEN dress the wound. Three down! 72 to go! Oh wait! If you "throw a punch" at him, you'll only have 71! This is gold!

7. Read a book... a book with words... No, not THAT book (dumbass)! Books I deem are worthy!

8. Cook something dead and greasy... remember... Real men don't have heart attacks.

9. Wipe out a rain-forest... why stop at just a few hundred acres?

10. Learn a foreign language... shrieking at women in german really impresses them!

* ICH SPRECHEN ZIE NICHT ZEHR GUT DEUTSCH! (Dumkauf).

(Wow... that is about all I learned from high school German... and maybe listening to too much Rammstein)

10. Tell the most boring damn joke in the world...

No wait... BE THE MOST BORING DAMN JOKE IN THE WORLD!

DAMN!

What madness drives him?!?


* -Fixed by popular demand.

Quote: Originally Posted by Darksamurai 10. Learn a foreign language... shrieking at women in german really impresses them! ICHE SPRECHEN ZIE NICHT ZEHR GUT DEUTSCH! (Dumkauf). (Wow... that is about all I learned from high school German... and maybe listening to too much Rammstein)

Ich doesn't have an "e" at the end

Quote: Originally Posted by Master Yunk Ich doesn't have an "e" at the end

My German spell-checker is on break...

DS, seriously, stop reading that crap You did notice that the "article" (*shudder*) came from Esquire magazine?

I actually also made the mistake of going to page 2 (and will probably venture all the way to the end ) and the first thing there, nr. 21., Argue with a European.... Yeah, EVERY man should be able to do that without being Xenophobic or insult football. Ehh, what about us European men?

Nr. 23, Be Loyal. Now the prick is saying that no man can be faithful to his partner. Hmm, seems I have failed at being a man...

Nr. 29, understanding that part of QP is not quite hard, calculating the odds of that is a different story.

Nr. 42, no I prefer the Dog Whisperer method as portrayed in South Park.

Nr. 55, wrong, come up here to the Northern Hemisphere and try that crap during winter

Nr. 60, hold on, this douche is saying that men can stay loyal to something they pay for but not something they care for or heck love maybe?

There's more in that crap but I'm just to tired, annoyed and generally pissed off to bash everything that pains me to read.