Well gang... I'm in my first class on management. Still... from watching my employers through the years, here's what I have to add...


TOP TEN: TIPS FOR MANAGERS:

1. Be aloof. If someone needs help, turn them over to a supervisor... if the supervisor doesn't know, give a DAMN vague answer. Anything you can't be blamed for is helpful!

2. Be insightful. If someone asks you a question about why you've done something, reflect on it for a long time... then blame someone else.

3. Remember, if a person is doing work, they're doing it WRONG!

4. Never stand behind an employee who gets in trouble with a client. It's ALWAYS the employees fault, and your bonus for keeping clients will confirm it.

5. Never pass along information. You'll just get blamed for it either way.

6. If an issue comes up, discuss anything else!

7. Acting like a spoiled four year old is acceptable in some situations... usually with people who don't work directly for you, but have to report to you anyway.

8. NEVER return calls! You can't be blamed for not getting a call right away. You're a manager and you're busy!

9. Upper management is solely there to inspire fear and create a need for paperwork for anyone under them. Remember this!

10. If you get caught as the screw up you are, never apologize. It's better to leave a company saying, "We didn't seem to have the same goals" than "Yes, I admit it... I'm a screw-up!"


NOTE: Yes... I do have someone in mind... several someones actually... not that I'm bitter.

11. Save money on a PA system, an intercom, memos, or our precious ones and zeros for email by just TALKING REALLY LOUD to the people two rooms over.

I love it, and may use it (with your permission) on some leadership sessions.

lol numbers 2 and 3 seem to be the most popular and widely used tactics around here.