Yo...

It's all 'bout the Pentium ya'll. We all be knowin' this.

So, how do you go from a pale white boi to a kick-ass, rebel in the office without losin' yo job?

Here's a quick list.

1. NEVER HANG A STUPID *#%&ING CAT POSTER IN YOUR OFFICE

2. NEVER mention TGIF... it ain't gangsta!

3. Don't be trippin' if the man ask you to work late. Call him a bitch-ass busta if he thinks you be afraid of a little extra work! This doesn't apply to salaried workers... then JUST call him a bitch-ass busta!

4. Put a tequila worm in the office water cooler.

5. Don't put a bunch of toys on your desk. Unless it's a PS3 and you've already put in your two weeks notice.

6. Refer to your cluster of cubicles as "da hood".

7. When summoned to meetings, swagger in like you own the place. Don't just scurry in and find a seat to hide in.

8. Only sycophants refer to their boss as "playa", "dawg" or "da man".

9. Refer to your clients as "dem suckas" only in internal memos and meetings.

10. Use company resources to look for another job...

11. Find a pix of juicy booty and make it your background
12. Instead of having the radio playing, have the audio track from Scarface playing at all time

13. Choose unpronounceable, always-changing names for shared resources and PCs. If they aren't in English, all the better.

14. Set the office WPA key to "Let's Fire (insert name of co-worker you dislike)" and send announcement in that vein.

15. Every client gets a derogatory nickname.

That few ones remind me of my old networking class, where another group named their servers pretty random stuff, first it was compaqsux0rz, since all the machines were compaqs, then just got weird stuff like KFCTacobell...

Quote: Originally Posted by Gzim That few ones remind me of my old networking class, where another group named their servers pretty random stuff, first it was compaqsux0rz, since all the machines were compaqs, then just got weird stuff like KFCTacobell...

It's sort of a theme at my office, because several people have been building/supplying machines to the office and each have their own conventions.

I've brought in one laptop, had one new laptop, and built one desktop, each of which were named after characters in my favourite manga; this is the convention I use at home.

My other-side-of-the-office co-worker had one named after his username, and one named after himself.

I think the boss left his at the default OS-generated name.

The print server has been four things-- a manga character (when I set it up), two references to its processor class, and finally, the colour of its case, thus assuring that the network printer setup changes on a regular basis.

I think I should name the new box we're getting... what's a good name for bland uATX P4/2.8 box? Maybe 'ishimaru', from the deliberately average minor character in Eyeshield 21.

I was going to recommend LOTR character like my buddy uses to label his networks, but I think the best would be to name it a semi-popular adult star, say, Dani Woodward, and see who starts asking questions...

heh I have a server called pinkynut...

this came about because after setting it up we couldn't decide on a name so we just chose the name of the first person who signed into msn...

A cluster of cubicles isn't a hood, it is a Cell Block.

Tell them hoes by the copy machine if they don't get your bread you'll stank their ass.

16. Keep your pimp hand strong.

17. Be sure to refer to the worker-unit who brings around checks/stubs as "G-Money"
18. Pour a lil out for Biggie and Tupac - even if it is decaf
19. When your homies get laid off, just shake your head, sigh, and say "Damn - just like Jay Master Jay".
20. if the UPS lady is hot, tell her in no uncertain terms what you expect Brown to do for you.

-MF

When someone comes up to your desk asking for tech support, just slap you hand on your desk and respond with "Daaaaamn Bitch!"

When introduced at a high level round table meeting, stand up and strike a pose, flash a gang sign, and just say, "Sup."

Walk around with one pants leg of your Docker's rolled carefully up to your knee.

During staff meetings, start each sentence with, "Yo, Yo, check it out..."

Keep Christmas lights wrapped around your desk all year long and if they ask you why they are there just say, "I'm showing pride in my Motherland, Bitch."

Keep an empty 40 of Colt 45 on your desk as a pencil holder.

When the boss gives you a task to do, take your right hand and form it into the shape of a pistol, place your index finger against their forehead, and say, "Bang!" Then say, "OK."

During luncheon's, stand up every now and then and spill a bit of soda on the table. Then tearfully shout, "This is for all my Homie's!"