Anyone else see Texas Chainsaw Massacre this weekend? Pretty good movie I jumped like 8 times...ok, so I'm wuss

Anyway, nothing else to report on, so on to the funnies!

Enjoy

1st Article- If you are part of the negotiating team and need a lil extra advantage in ending the standoff, do like they did in this hostage situation...offer the bad guy some beer! Beer helps unite both good and evil.

2nd Article- Still looking for that dream job? Do you live in California? Then check this out...Work for Lego! Hah..I remember a long time ago I bought that big'ol lego ship...that thing was crazy.

Speaking of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre...I came across this...The Texas Chainsaw Massacre Atari Game! I'm sure this thing had to be a hit...

Ok sticking with the video game theme for a few more mins here. Found this long list of Old Video Game Ads! Just go through the list...

lol gotta love the "starpath Supercharger"! Some of these names are...uhm....more than creative

Well this really isn't "Funny" but I figured I should post it and share it with everyone. A friend emailed me this video clip from The Home Shopping Network where they are selling a ladder. But the guy who is demonstrating the ladders falls off.

Some people might think its funny, some might not.

Either way, falling off of a ladder sucks

Well I don't consider myself a genious...but I think I'm correct in saying that this website is not in english

Anyway this website has pictures of a guy who ski's, but has made a homemade ski thing lol. Basically he put a big'ol fan on his back to push him.

I guess this is equivalent to the home made segway eh?

Check out the pictures!

Now here is a topic we can all relate too...Alien/UFO Abductions!

I'm sure all of us either have been, know someone, or have thought that you have been abducted at one point. You can't hide it...I'm sure at Miller Time you've spilled more info that you would have like to.

So Check out this website here to view 58 signs of being abducted by a big'ol Alien.

Don't be afraid...share your experiences...

Time for some jokes!


There are three girls in a car, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde, when the car suddenly breaks down. ItÂ’s miles to the nearest gas station, so the girls quickly grab supplies for the long walk. The brunette brings water, the redhead brings food, and the blonde removes one of the carÂ’s doors and brings it. When they finally arrive, the gas station attendant says to the brunette, "Why did you bring water?"

The brunette replies, "Duh, in case we get thirsty, so we can drink."

Next the gas station attendant asks the redhead why she brought food. "Duh," the redhead replied, "in case we get hungry, we can eat."

Finally he asks the blonde the question he was really curious about. "Why did you bring the car door?"

"Duh," the blonde replies, "in case we get hot, we can roll down the window."

one more

Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge. One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge. He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head. The procession crosses the bridge and the man puts on his cap, picks up his rod and reel, and continues fishing. The other guy says, "That was touching. I didnÂ’t know you had it in you."
The first guy responds, "Well, I guess it was the thing to do - after all, I was married to her for 40 years."

scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other
items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple
children.

The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new
tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My
Pledge - Up Yours."

Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be
speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine.
Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from
Africa.

Announcement in the church bulletin for a National
PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending
the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."

Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday
at 8 pm in the recreation hall. Come out and watch us
kill Christ the King.

"Sister Donna Jean will speak on 'Who Are My Enemies?'
All are invited."

"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance
to get rid of those things not worth keeping around
the house. Don't forget your husbands."

A notice asking for volunteer skilled workers read:
"We will be renovating our kitchen and doing some work
in the new office area. We are in need of small
construction people, drywallers, carpenters,
electricians, plumbers, etc."

The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been
canceled due to a conflict.

The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water."
The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus"

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir.
They need all the help they can get.

Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way
again" giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "hell" to
someone who doesn't care much about you.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on
October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that
began in their school days.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the
church hall. Music will follow.

Please place your donation in the envelope along with
the deceased person(s) you want remembered.

Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and
heave a healthy lunch.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb
entertainment, and gracious hostility.

The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning
at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the
Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

Evening Massage - 6 p.m.

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of
every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday
afternoon.

The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's
Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The
Congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the
congregation would lend him their electric girdles for
the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday from
7 to 8 pm.Please use back door.

Ushers will eat latecomers.

For those of you who have children and don't know it,
we have a nursery downstairs.

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church
and community.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's
Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The
congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

The concert held in the Fellowship Hall was a great
success. Special thanks are due to the minister's
daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano,
which, as usual, fell upon her.

On a church bulletin during the pastor's illness: GOD
IS GOOD. Pastor Hargreaves is better.

Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.

Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.

Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High."

The Rector is on vacation. Massages can be given to
the church secretary.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the
addition of several new members and to the
deterioration of some older ones.

The choir invites any member of the congregation who
enjoys sinning to join the choir!!

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use large
double door at the side entrance.

Hehe....Lord Dragon pointed this one out:


In the Home Shopping Network video clip listen to the lady talk. When the guy falls, the sales lady is like "Well you know it's a very slippery floor over there..."

SO the reason he fell off of the ladder was because of the slippery floor...write that down lol!

As for those video game ads, I really look forward to playing that "communist mutants" available with the supercharger.

Better Late Than Never


This pilot fish is up all night troubleshooting a failed payroll job,
but the IT director sees him stumble in at 9:30 a.m. Furious at this
"tardiness," director fires off a memo: From now on, work starts at 8
a.m. and stops at 5 p.m. -- no exceptions. "The next time operations
staff called in the wee hours, they were told we couldn't help until 8
a.m.," fish says. "After some late payroll runs, the director was fired
and the more relaxed work rules were restored."

It's So Simple

Tech pilot fish discovers this point-of-sale PC's LAN drivers are
missing, so he calls the help desk. "All you need to do is download the
files off the server," help desk tech says. But the PC can't talk with
the server, fish points out. "Then use a patch cord to connect directly
to the server," desk tech suggests. You want me to patch into the LAN
to download files so it can talk on the LAN? sputters fish. Silence,
then help desk tech says, "Maybe you shouldn't be in this line of
work."

But They're Just Taxpayers

When pilot fish at this government agency goes on paternity leave, he
sets up his e-mail account so a polite "out of office" response is sent
automatically. Except it isn't, he discovers: IT configured the e-mail
system so only those in the office will receive an "out of office"
message, not outsiders. Grumbles fish, "In other words, the people most
likely to need to use e-mail in the first place -- who can't just walk
down the hall or dial your four-digit extension -- are the ones who
don't get the notice."

What It Says

It's 1985, and this computer room has a big, red panic button next to
the door -- and stuck to it is a yellow Post-it reminding workers, "Log
out." When a user is brought in to delete certain files, she's watched
like a hawk -- but all goes well until she's done and a supervisor
reminds her to log out before leaving. "She marched to the door and
bashed the big, red button that said, 'Log out,' " sighs a pilot fish
on scene. "It took five days to recover."

Smokin'!

Computer store donates 11 PCs to a local high school. While store's
tech sets the first one up, he reels off its impressive specs. "It's
smoking," comments school IT pilot fish, who is standing nearby. Yep,
blazing fast, tech agrees. "No, it really is smoking," says fish -- the
miswired PC is churning out smoke. "He quickly turned it off," says
fish, "and with great humility and care, he checked the other 10 before
starting the setup."

Quote: Oct 20, 9:31 am ET BORDEAUX, France (Reuters) - A French judge was placed under official investigation for "sexual exposure" in a courtroom, prosecutors said on Friday, after a newspaper reported the judge masturbated while a lawyer pleaded her case. The 39-year old judge masturbated for several minutes on Wednesday while listening to a female lawyer addressing the court in a case dealing with a dispute between neighbors, regional paper La Charente Libre said. One of the paper's reporters saw the judge "making unambiguous gestures after discretely lifting his judicial robe and opening his trousers," it said. The judge was temporarily suspended from his professional duties and examined by a psychiatrist, a prosecutor in the southwestern town of Angouleme said.

Brings new meaning to the term "Banging the Gavel"

We've found Clarance Thomas' long lost brother.



Maybe he could enter Later and Leandra's contest...

A woman told her lawyer, "People sue tobacco companies for lung cancer, right?" The lawyer responded, "Yes, that's true." "And people have sued McDonald's for making them fat, right?" "Right again!" "Well, I want to sue, too." The lawyer asked, "Okay. McDonald's or big tobacco?" "Neither. I want to sue Budweiser for all the ugly men I've been with!"