Well gang, I'm back!

How often I'll be posting is a mystery even to me until I locate work, but hey... I'm back!

I used my 1,600 mile trip to think about some changes to my daily shiznit, and I'm ready to implement some changes I had planned before I left.

Those will come into effect starting with my next post. This is more of a "Hi, I'm back" kind of thing.

My move to Phoenix was eventful, and I figured what better way to return than to tell ya'll about it.

Day 1.

Day one was interesting as the trip lasted only a little over 250 miles before my old man's radiator drainage plug broke. At this point, it cost us a day in a hotel 'cause the Ford dealership was closed. Nothing like starting a trip on a high note...

I really had no idea radiators could be made out of plastic (shows what I know about cars made after 1983)... the good news is that it only cost about 5 bucks to fix. Bad news is that Ford gave us the wrong part, so we ended up waiting while my old man hit a radiator shop that knew stuff from Stuffola.

Day 2.

Day two, my car decided it was time to devour 5 quarts of oil and was blowing plumes of black smoke out of exhaust pipe... my engine would have siezed if this hadn't been noticed... Oddly, it burned no more oil the entire trip... go figure.

In Bozeman Montana, two, count 'em two trucks tried to run me off the damn road. SOB moved into my lane like I wasn't even there. If I hadn't slammed on my brakes and slid into the shoulder, I guess my trip would have ended there... I probably could have gotten his insurance to get me a new car, but the delay wouldn't have been worth it.

Topping it off, we continued our journey into Utah, where just outside of Salt Lake City, I got to watch a guy beat the crap out of his girlfriend in the parking lot of "Sonic"...

This in itself is fairly sad and all, but I've learned it's best to stay out of these things unless someone is gonna die right then and there.

Both of 'em are spitting as they're screaming at each other, and he smacks her in the head and yelling she's a stupid bitch and they get in the car and take off.

Then, they go into the vacant lot about twenty feet away, he smacks her around, gets out and starts actually kicking his own damn car... she starts pulling away, he's foaming at the mouth...

What does the dumb bitch do? SHE STOPS THE CAR AND LETS HIM BACK IN! At this point, he slams her head into the steering wheel and they drive off.

Dinner and a movie I guess (my more cynical side was actually quite amused... the other 1/8 of my nature was amazed anybody would choose to live like that).

Later that day, my old man's car pegs over to "hot" and we pull over for an hour to let it cool off... it's then discovered if you tap on it, it'll drop back down to mid-line, and it was fine all along. The delay cost us about 70 miles plus a stop earlier because it had been creeping up. Onto the side of a six-lane highway... which if it hadn't been for a cop stopping and letting us back in, we'd have still been sitting there. (I always seem to find a cop when I need one... kind of cool actually).

Day 3. 90 miles outside of Phoenix, U-Haul's trailer decides it's had enough and blows a tire. As it doesn't come with a spare, I follow my Mom's car to the nearest town (leavin' my old man's truck by the side of the road), which happens to land us in a posh resort where people are lookin' at me like I'm the scum of the earth (three day beard, paint-splattered blue-jeans and my Metallica "Ride the Lightning" T-shirt... I looked classy, let me tell ya).

As I'm waiting for my Ma to finish calling for on-road service, I'm getting sneered at by bell-boys and I'm seriously waiting for someone to call the police 'cause I look like a suspicious character. I also find out I'm sitting in the middle of a wedding being set up, so I'm feelin' like I'm really in the way...

Traveling into the night, road construction lands us with my old man trying to climb his way off a dirt ramp and his clutch is screaming bloody murder (one of those things that'll probably need to be fixed soon). Whipping out a U turn a little later almost gets me creamed as I have to stop and back up (as my car seems to have a wider turning radius than a either of my folks')

Day four

I finally arrived into Phoenix... during a flash flood. I could barely see out of my window, and I'm soaring down the freeway doin' 70 miles an hour, trying to follow the lead car. In classic nerd style, I go in search of Frys later that day... finding it, I begin to realize more of what a blessing Directron and Newegg are price-wise, mod-wise and case-selection wise... Still, their DVD selection is impressive and I found a coupla things I'm gonna have to go back and get when I find work.

On top of everything I'm adjusting back into city life, which is kinda stressful. Top Ten classic examples include:

1. Que Pasa? I guess I really should learn Spanish... Aside from really basic stuff, I'm not communicating overly well with my neighbors (no major mess ups, but the language barrier is frustrating).

2. I am hideously out of style, and all the "used" cars in the paper are only like 2 years old... this bothered me until I realized I pride myself on looking "a little like a refugee" (a little "Tom Petty" humor for ya'll there) from the 80s, and I have a V-8 under my hood, not some sissy 4-banger. So bugger 'em if they don't like my l337 wheels.

oh yeah, everyone has really slick wheels out here. The 200 to 500 bucks a wheel jobs with low profile tires. Peice of crap Dodge Neon with these big, expensive wheels... whatta country!

3. I've rediscovered the joys of trying to find a damn parking spot when I get home...
You only get one parking spot for your apartment... as I'm with the folks, that's three cars between us. Life has been interesting.

4. Why are people afraid of me? I'm still havin' mixed emotions on this one. I'm not a bad guy, but I don't like bein' messed with... so fear is both useful, and kind of a hinderance.

5. Whomever said my temps would be on the rise... you were right. Phoenix is freakin' hot. My temps have gone from low 20s to mid 30s (Celsius). Still, I hear it's 35F degrees where I just left, so I guess 95F is better than freezing my ass off.

personally, I've actually got a tan, and I tend to avoid daylight like a vampire.

6. It's beginning to dawn on me just how far gone my social life has been. I don't think my opening line to a hot chick should start with, "I'm an unemployed computer nerd who's still livin' with his folks... wanna come home with me?"

Yes... first thing I get a job and a little bit tucked away, I'm back off on my own.

7. Arizona and North Dakota license plates look a lot alike. Still, cops tend to find this interesting and they tend to stare hard at it. I'm takin' it nice and easy until I get AZ plates (or a fuzzbuster).

8. Where-as my l337 skillz were good enough for backwater towns and ye olde repair shoppes, I'm probably gonna have to find alternate means of employment other than computers (or find a small company). I REALLY have to catch up on my certifications. I'm pretty well screwed without an MCSE, CCNE, RHCE, or a combination there-of. My minor Comptia certifications aren't gonna land me where I wanna go, so it's back to the bookstore and shellin' out dough for certs...

I tell ya, Cisco is all ya hear about down here...

9. Living in an area with Leash laws, and a dog run five blocks away that is the designated spot for "Dog business", I'm not a happy camper. Getting drug out of bed at 5 in the morning and just opening the door was hard enough..

Now I gotta get dressed, find my shoes, grab the leash, try to remember how the hell to get to the dog run (all these buildings look alike, and there are a lot of 'em, so it's easy to get turned around).
Also, she's 12 years old, so she doesn't really go for more than 6 hours without needing out (joys of getting older I guess)...

10. I keep waiting to run into someone who maybe knows me... probably a dumb thing to do as I'm not a movie star or anything and there are thousands of freakin' people out here, but I know there are a couple of folks here from the AZ area.

If any of ya'll get out to the Phoenix area, let me know... I'll try to meet up with you at Frys or somethin'. Gimme a coupla weeks though, I gotta get my bearings!

I'm probably here for the next year or so though (longer if I get a really good job, but 118 degrees F isn't somethin' I'm used to... and that's what I've been told I can expect in the summer. It's October and it's been over 90 every day (I think it may have gotten down into the high 80s when they got torrential rains... but past that).

I'm starting the job hunt next week (was gonna start this week, but I can't seem to get my phone set up until next week... odd 'cause I've already got me a cable modem connection and it's the same freakin' company).

Anyway... that's the summary of the DarkSamurai experience (trust me, the full version is worthy of War and Peace... sorry if I bored anyone to tears... my next post will hopefully be kick-ass!

No Dark, that post kicked ass. I completely impressed that you finally made it to AZ, lord knows you been wanting to do that for a while. Yes, it is a different culture, but one that I know you will adapt to quickly. Priority one is a job, everything else will fall into place after that.

Glad to see you made it, bro.

Any detours to see the world's largest ball of twine? Sounds like a vacation movie, without Christie Brinkly flirting with you from a red Ferrari. Congrats on making it in one piece.

"Stranger in a strange land"

I'm glad your journey is over. I'm sure in the future you will look back at this time in your life and laugh.

Good luck in adapting to your new environment. You should have no problems, once you get your bearings.

Glad you made it in one piece Dark. What part of town are you in? I'm guessing West Side considering the "language barrier".

Just remember these things, sun-block, lip balm and a good 24 hour deodorant. And never buy a ride with vinyl seats! The sun glasses I know you already have. You'll only melt like a chocolate bunny the first year or two...then you get used to it. ...sorta.

PM me when you get settled in.

Hey DarkS,
Hows the golf game...Lived in AZ for about 4 years and it's tough if ya got thick blood and a crummy golf game.
oh yea, one more thing to remember.Never ,never lean on the door with the car window down and shorts pants while sitting on the seatbelt buckles is something you will only do once...peaceout Brah and drink plenty of water.