I didn't get a chance to post the weekly funnies because it was a very busy weekend and looks to be a very busy week. But a couple buddies of mine over at Designtechnica and ABForums were kind enough to post some stuff throughout the week.

So we I'm gonna borrow their material and share it with the PimpRig crew

But hopefully this weekend I'll be back on my saddle and have a chance to post some stuff.

Enjoy!

NEWSLETTER BONUS HEADLINES

Nutritionists reveal French secrets to staying slim despite cheese-rich diet: smaller portion sizes, constantly running at the first hint of danger

Extraordinarily high number of fatalities in French heat wave could have been avoided if air-conditioned movie theaters hadn't been showing "Gigli"

Nearly half of Americans wouldn't vote for Bush again; "of course, more than half didn't vote for him the first time," notes pollster

University of Colorado at Boulder ranked #1 party school; "We've decided to drop the SAT and ACT and just use a student's BAC," explains hard-drinking admissions officer

Heroic dogs enter Canine Hall of Fame, defecate in it

New Orleans attacks absenteeism in schools; will pass out cheap glass beads at end of each class

US marines return to ships off Liberia; "Our work of providing a ridiculously empty gesture has been successfully done," explains Colonel to uninterested media

Penthouse magazine files for Chapter 11; "I never thought this would happen to me..." begins Guccione's court papers

and my personal favorite...

Red wine molecule shown to extend lifespan; grain alcohol molecule shown to extend legspan

POINTS TO PONDER

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping"; now I just "chunky dunk."

The early bird still has to eat worms.

The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is eating them.

Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?

Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

My husband says I never listen to him. At least I think that's what he said.

Just remember ... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor.

Some comic strips:

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another one

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comic strip:

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Dilbert!

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here ya go:

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One more

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Ex-President Clinton was playing golf with some of his buddies. When the day warmed up, Clinton removed his jacket and revealed a pair of panties stuck to his left bicep. No one had the nerve to ask him about it for a while, but eventually one of the group asked, "Mr. President, are you aware that you have a pair of women's panties stuck to your left arm?" Clinton replied, "That's the patch... I'm trying to quit!"

A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later....

"Da-ad...."

"What?"

"I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?"

"No. You had your chance. Lights out."

Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad....."

"WHAT?"

"I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??"

"I told you NO!" If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"

Five minutes later...... "Daaaa-aaaad....."

"WHAT!"

"When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"

Logging Out the Hard Way


This control-freak IT manager just HAS to have the same rights that his
mainframe programmers and operators have. Then one day, the entire
transaction system vanishes suddenly for 400 users. "Even stranger, a
crisis had occurred, and the boss wasn't demanding a status report,"
says a pilot fish on the scene. Apparently, the boss had had trouble
logging out, so he used a very risky, very restricted,
warned-about-in-the-docs utility. "He logged himself out -- and took
400 users with him," says fish. "He let us take away his unnecessary
authorities after that. No arguments."

Slowdown

Payroll user's new 2-GHz PC gets an error message when he runs a
particular report, so IT pilot fish searches the knowledge base for a
solution. "It says, 'Run the report on a machine with a processor speed
under 1 GHz, or open as many programs as possible to slow the machine
down,' " groans fish. "Where are the 386s when you need one?"

Just What She Asked For

The entire network goes out, and panicked IT applications manager calls
the help desk. "Her mission-critical department was being impacted by
our unplanned total network outage, and she demanded a wireless laptop
to connect to the downed network," says support pilot fish. "We didn't
have the heart to tell her that it wouldn't work. Last I heard, a
tech-support staffer was going upstairs to drop off the laptop."

Oops!

Blasted by the latest worm, this company vows dire consequences for any
employee failing to patch his PC. Then IT security calls this pilot
fish and accuses him of using an unpatched machine. Can't be, says fish
-- mine's patched. It turns out to be a conference-room PC that fish
logged onto for a demo. "Who owns support of those machines? There are
100 of them in the company," fish asks get-tough security guy. "He
quickly realized the horrible security exposure was now HIS problem --
and got off the phone in a hurry."

Talking Trash

A virus destroys the data on one of this company's critical servers, so
IT pilot fish calls off-site for the backup tapes. They're sitting in
an open box on the data center floor, ready for the restore in the
morning, when the night cleaning crew arrives. "No one ever thought a
loosely stacked set of 4mm tapes could look like trash," sighs fish.
"Now the cleaning people are only allowed to throw out stuff that has
been tagged as garbage."

Shark Tank: Why we're here


College student pilot fish gets his first IT job doing tech support for
this big Internet service provider.

"I wasn't thrilled with the job," says fish, "but I thought, at least
I'm working with computers."

And there's plenty not to be thrilled about. Such as the female staffer
sitting next to fish who continually tells callers, "Just turn off your
computer for 10 minutes to let it rest, then reboot."

"I couldn't believe what I was hearing," says fish. "She wasn't even
trying to figure out what was wrong. And she wasn't the only person
pulling stunts like these."

And so it goes for a month, until fish comes up for his first
performance review. He's feeling confident: "One week's worth of my
stats even showed that I had resolved all of my callers' problems on
their first call, something that hadn't happened at this call center
before," he says. "I just knew I'd get a raise, since I was doing so
well."

And his manager agrees that fish's problem-resolution stats are
impressive. "But we're not here to solve problems," manager tells fish.
"You're taking almost 10 minutes per call. If you could do a better
job, like your neighbor, maybe you could get a raise."

Grumbles fish, "Of course, he was referring to Reboot Girl sitting next
to me -- who was making $3 more per hour than me!"

School of Rock

Rated- PG-13
about 2 hours long
Staring: Jack black and a bunch of kids.

Quick AMC short summery
"Dewey Finn is a hell-raising guitarist with delusions of grandeur. Kicked out of his band and desperate for work, Dewey impersonates a substitute teacher and turns a class of fifth grade high-achievers into high-voltage rock and rollers. The private school's uptight and skeptical head, Principal Mullins, watches on as the 'new sub' preps the kids for Battle of the Bands"

Now my turn...
The AMC summery is pretty good, but this story is about rocking and Sticking it to the man. Jack black is absoluty the worst school teacher ever but the best music teacher i'v seen.

The short.
This is a funny film full of rock, rebels, Jack Balck, and a decent story plot.

I give it 4\5 on overal presentation
and for comady and wit.
and 5/5 for keeping the Sprit of rock alive and sticking it to the man.

See it if you like Jack Balck, comady, rock and roll, and a great story.


See you at the cina-plex.

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Thanks for the review bro! Didn't think you'd get one in since this was sorta a late funnies posting.

Anyways, I saw the rundown last night....great movie!

We're planning on seeing either The House of the Dead or Kill Bill this weekend.

Thanks to Lord Dragon for this one!

Now this is a cool game, you guys definitely hafta check it out!

Hangman for Dummies!

I will have a review for both thoses filcks probly by tuesday, that is my review of course not Robert and Roper's.