I warned you...

A man was walking homealone late one foggy night,

when behind him he hears:



BUMP...




BUMP...




BUMP...





Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog he makes out the image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street toward him.




BUMP...





BUMP...





BUMP...






Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing quickly behind him





FASTER...





FASTER...






BUMP...







BUMP...






BUMP...





He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him.








However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket clapping









clappity-BUMP...






clappity-BUMP...






clappity-BUMP...




on his heels, the terrified man runs.





Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.



With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.









Bumping and clapping toward him.





The man screams and reaches for something, anything,
but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!









Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...



















and,

















(hopefully you're ready for this!!!)





The coffin stops






I told you not to read it...Just thought I would share!

Ha, yeah that is pretty awful. kept me in suspense right to the very end. lol

I like the joke and all but i do not think it was necessary to make it so big and so far in between commit, it was very good joke just way to big just my $0.02 worth and thoughts.

Uhm, I didn't get it

Edit: Ohh, I'm an idiot... read the "coffin" as casket.

i get these in my email everyday.

That joke was awesome. One of those ones that makes you do that flappy PBHLBHLBHBT things with your lips

Quote: Originally Posted by _Sexy_Pants_ One of those ones that makes you do that flappy PBHLBHLBHBT things with your lips

Razzing, or blowing a raspberry.

good joke,
although it left me with an awkward feeling of wanting to slap my monitor

Quote: Originally Posted by ranger1033 I like the joke and all but i do not think it was necessary to make it so big and so far in between commit, it was very good joke just way to big just my $0.02 worth and thoughts.

Thats just how I got it in my e-mail, so I just copied and pasted.

Quote: Originally Posted by 4x0n Uhm, I didn't get it Edit: Ohh, I'm an idiot... read the "coffin" as casket.

...

Quote: Originally Posted by _Sexy_Pants_ That joke was awesome. One of those ones that makes you do that flappy PBHLBHLBHBT things with your lips

Quote: Originally Posted by Fortran good joke, although it left me with an awkward feeling of wanting to slap my monitor

I know, I got the same thing

One of my highschool teachers told that joke.. and many worse than that.... Oh thank the diety that I am in college now.

Pfft... to good of a joke. Here's a few bad ones:

This baby seal walks into a club. (end of joke)

This man walks into a bar and says "Who put this damn bar here?!) (end of joke)

This blonde walks into a bar and says "ouch" (end of joke)

Cpt. Hook from Peter Pan died from a case of jock itch.

Hey, check out this you tube for a dramatic telling of that joke.....

a girl walks into a bar, orders a double entendre

So the bartender gives it to her

Quote: Originally Posted by Iateronmly Cpt. Hook from Peter Pan died from a case of jock itch.

...i don't get it

Quote: Originally Posted by slickcam ...i don't get it

He scratched.

I'll lay my favorite on you. It really really pisses people off

I was hanging out in a bar one day, same ol' same ol' you know when this guy walks in with these two beautiful girls pracitically rubbing themselves on his body. Now when I say beautiful girls, I really mean beautiful but I really wasn't concerned with them... it was the fact that this guy had a gigantic blue head on his shoulders. Darndest thing I ever saw.

So I kept stealing glances while I drank. These girls were practically licking every exposed part of the guy's body but he seemed totally uninterested. Eventually, he threw a wad of cash at them and told them to hit the bar and with a few "shoos" they left. I was pretty interested in this whole scene so I went over to him and asked "those girls a handful?". He nods wearily and replies "oh yeah, if I'd have known I wouldn't have wished for them". "Wished for them?" I asked. "yeah yeah, I'm sure you're pretty curious about my big blue head too. Most people are" I nodded and he continued, "Sit down and I'll tell you a story"

"It was a pretty normal day. I was strolling down the shore of a beach. But this time I caught a little gleam in the corner of my eye. So, curious, I walked over to the glint and found what looked exactly like one of those magic lamps from the movies. I rubbed it, kind of as a joke not expecting much, and sure enough a genie pops out."

"Bullcrap" I say

"Stick with me here. So the genie does his whole shpeel, 3 wishes and all. I tried the "I wish for more wishes" thing but he wasn't having that."

"So what was your first wish?"

"My first wish was that I could have all the money I could ever want. Out of nowhere, an ATM machine appears and I check my balance. I don't even know what to call a number with that many zeroes."

"that's gotta be pretty nice. How about the second wish?"

"My second wish? That any girl I want would throw themselves at my feet in love. So that explains my friends at the bar. They're good girls, but I wish they'd just cool it a little. Guess I should have been more careful.

"Alright, so what was your third wish?"

"My third wish was for a gigantic blue head"

haha, I must have a bad sense of humour.

Quote: Originally Posted by ratchetfps He scratched.

wow, I can't beleive I missed that...

A Rabbi, a Priest and a Minister walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, some kinda joke.?"