Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formerly known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally. Scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesday only.

85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise are the keys to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut. (Hummmmmmmmm)

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players is now nine feet seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.

for some reason i dont doubt that those will be the headlines...

Those first two are possible though not in 2029 but later...

Nah they are possibilities (but I think they were just jokes).
Did you create these yourself?

I especially liked the NBA one. Seems like they get taller every season.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut. (Hummmmmmmmm)

Burned!

Quote: Originally Posted by HoJo France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.

LOL LOL LOL too funny man.

UN troops defeated in Quebec.

Cleveland Browns win NFL championship, now on to the Super Bowl in Sydney Australia.

UOG (United Oxegyn Generators) Union strike on Mars threatens colonists air supply.

Study proves wind farms generating tornadoes that have destroyed New Jersey. No one cares.

Congress passes legislation restricting generation of solar power to daylight hours.

Quote: Originally Posted by UndisputedChamp Nah they are possibilities (but I think they were just jokes). Did you create these yourself? I especially liked the NBA one. Seems like they get taller every season.

No, I got them in an e-mail and thought they were funny.

The article is howlingly funny...many thanks

Quote: Originally Posted by HoJo No, I got them in an e-mail and thought they were funny.

Oh I see, but yeah you are right they were very funny.

Here is a headline that I see coming in the near future:

MySpace has added Video conferencing and Phone chat capabilities to its users profiles for no charge. Since these additions, a recent study has shown that the average weight for teens in America has increased from 130lbs to 200 lbs.

F.D.A. Approves Soylint Green.

Last frying pan auctioned off at 12 million..

That was some funny sheeeiiiitttt.

Quote: France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.

I nearly fell out of my chair on that one.

+rep.

Low cost energy invented, inventor brutally murdered. Suspected goverment wrongdoings.

Quote: Originally Posted by joecoin Study proves wind farms generating tornadoes that have destroyed New Jersey. No one cares. Congress passes legislation restricting generation of solar power to daylight hours.

More classic ones!

Microsoft press release: Windows Vista release date to be delayed until 1st quarter of 2030.

the jaimaca taking over france part was proboly the only thing that made me laugh all day. ROFL sooooo funnnny