Punxsutawney Phil Scandal

prime-evil · 01-February-06, 11:11 AM

Our Community has often had to deal with some pretty hot political and ethical topics. Recently, I've been alerted to yet another moral crisis breathing down our necks! The issue has been exposed by columnist Tom Purcell and was printed in my local paper. I was able to find it online so I could pass it along to all of you at pcApex.

Notice: No commentary or opinions are offered by myself, this is merely being passed along for your enlightenment and edification.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tom Purcell

Outlaw Groundhog Day
By Tom Purcell

Punxsutawney Phil must be stopped. The lovable little groundhog must be stopped.

You know the routine. Every Feb. 2, Groundhog Day, Phil is yanked from a tree stump in Punxsutawney, Pa. If he sees his shadow, his organizers allege, there will be six more weeks of winter. If he doesn't, spring will be just around the corner.

Millions have loved this primitive ritual for years, but now there's a problem.

Groundhog Day evolved out of Candlemas Day, you see, a Christian tradition commemorating the purification of the Virgin Mary. As this tradition evolved in Germany, it got ever more colorful.

Germans soon believed that Candlemas Day could also predict the weather. Somewhere along the line they began yanking a hedgehog out of a tree stump, and soon the peculiar tradition took root.

When German immigrants began settling in Punxsutawney in 1887, they brought the tradition with them. Now we have a problem.

How, in this day and age, can any government body impose on our diverse society any celebration or event that has its roots in religion? Aren't the people of Punxsutawney providing their de facto support of one religion over all the others? Isn't their silly event not only offensive to non-Christians but also to people who practice no faith?

Isn't this annual event, then, in clear violation of the Separations Clause of the U.S. Constitution? If Santa Claus and Christmas trees are being banished in public squares across America, how can Groundhog Day not follow suit? The event promotes other offenses. Groundhog Day is organized by a group of men known as the "Inner Circle." These are the fellows who wear top hats and tuxedos and yank Phil out of the tree stump. As usual, it is the men who are exploiting a helpless little creature for profit and greed, and men who have kept women out of leadership positions within their Inner Circle clique.

The hypocrisy of these fellows is staggering. They boast of how they pamper Phil. He lives in a heated home and is fed delicious treats, they say. He lives better than most humans, they promise. They're especially proud of one particularly disgusting tidbit.

Phil has a harem.

The men of the Inner Circle provide Phil with three young female companions to take the edge off his lonely bachelor existence. That's right, this band of brothers is trafficking in "woodchucks of the night."

Aside from all the hypocrisy and the clear violation of the Separation Clause, what is the point of conducting this primitive annual ritual, now that we live in such progressive times?

Sure, I understand that small-minded people believe such traditions enrich our lives and bring much needed levity to the hearts of millions. I understand that our traditions evolved from a hodgepodge of cultural influences, and that the best of them celebrate our common humanity.

But still, Groundhog Day as we know it must be ended Ã‚â€” or at least drastically modified.

For starters, we must set Phil free. No innocent animal should be kept in captivity so that he can be exploited for fun and profit. We must release him back to his natural habitat immediately.

We can replace him with a less offensive living entity, such as a tree or shrub. Trees and shrubs cast shadows, too, and holding them in captivity is much more humane, since their roots keep them from roaming freely anyhow. We can then call the event "Groundshrub Day."

Most important, this event should be entirely secular. Any reference to the Christian past must be deleted from the official Web site. I was shocked to find such references on the existing Groundhog Day Web site.

I'm confident that if the men in the Inner Circle make these needed changes Ã‚â€” and if they begin to admit women to leadership positions within their currently male-dominated clique Ã‚â€” then the Groundshrub Day tradition will continue for many years to come.

If they don't the ACLU just might take these suggestions seriously and file suit within the week.

http://www.JewishWorldReview.com

Bouve124 · 01-February-06, 11:14 AM

GIVE ME A BREAK!!!!! What has this world come to? I mean its a stupid tradition. No one care's or knows the real history behind groundhog day. 99% of the people who watch the cerimony do it because its neat... Thats it. All the damn crybaby's need to relax with this holiday/religion stuff.

prime-evil · 01-February-06, 11:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bouve124


	GIVE ME A BREAK!!!!! What has this world come to? I mean its a stupid tradition. No one care's or knows the real history behind groundhog day. 99% of the people who watch the cerimony do it because its neat... Thats it. All the damn crybaby's need to relax with this holiday/religion stuff.

OK, before this gets outta hand...
This columnist is sometimes known for "political satire".

I would say he's poking fun ...using this as a parallel to similar debates....

Relax and Enjoy!

Gzim · 01-February-06, 11:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by prime-evil


	OK, before this gets outta hand... This columnist is sometimes known for "political satire". I would say he's poking fun ...using this as a parallel to similar debates.... Relax and Enjoy!

Yeeeahhh, I was really hoping that was the case, I'm reading this and thinking at the same time...."Gee.......what about everyother animal that is exploited for entertainment? Elephants and Tigers, and Bears in circuses, ansd the like....but as long as this is satire....DOWN WITH GROUNDHOG DAY!

pwrslyd · 01-February-06, 11:44 AM

nice fine P-E. A clever satirical rant about the PCness (if only that meant technological know-how

) of today's society.

At least, I hope it's satire. Don't know about up in liberal New England there, but here it is a rarity to find something so simple being argued about that strongly, especially if it has to do with opposing religion. I think us southerners as a whole tend to defend religion in most cases.

NCXCStud · 01-February-06, 11:45 AM

Yeah, i definitely sensed the sarcasm in this piece...the last paragraphs (and sentence) give that clearly away...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tom Purcell


	I'm confident that if the men in the Inner Circle make these needed changes Ã‚â€” and if they begin to admit women to leadership positions within their currently male-dominated clique Ã‚â€” then the Groundshrub Day tradition will continue for many years to come. If they don't the ACLU just might take these suggestions seriously and file suit within the week.

He's poking fun at the looney's out there.

And, I can only assume (its bitten me in the ass before, so watch out

) that the writer, is in fact Jewish (article link from the JewishWorldReview.com) and is poking fun at it. Basically saying, people are too uptight about it.

THRiLL KiLL · 01-February-06, 12:26 PM

it nice to know that he is just poking fun.... but it shows you what our society has become...

lets play a game... pick any subject in the world... some one will be aginst it.

Nerdz · 01-February-06, 12:35 PM

I say we should just get rid of all the holidays, then no one will complain..

Newyears included, maybe 4th of july too, then those british "scum" wouldnt hate us so much

, maybe we should also wipe canada off the map, bunch of lazy bums is what they are..WHAT HAS CANADA DONE FOR US?! Oh wait, They gave us Canadian Bacon, mmm bacon...

Oh wait, they will, because their holiday got out lawed and banned because they wanted to get rid of it in the first place!

In no way am I meant to offend anyone

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01-February-06, 11:14 AM		#2 (permalink)
Bouve124 carfax helper outer	GIVE ME A BREAK!!!!! What has this world come to? I mean its a stupid tradition. No one care's or knows the real history behind groundhog day. 99% of the people who watch the cerimony do it because its neat... Thats it. All the damn crybaby's need to relax with this holiday/religion stuff.

01-February-06, 11:44 AM		#5 (permalink)
pwrslyd Apex Master Tech Apprentice	nice fine P-E. A clever satirical rant about the PCness (if only that meant technological know-how ) of today's society. At least, I hope it's satire. Don't know about up in liberal New England there, but here it is a rarity to find something so simple being argued about that strongly, especially if it has to do with opposing religion. I think us southerners as a whole tend to defend religion in most cases.

01-February-06, 12:26 PM		#7 (permalink)
THRiLL KiLL PcApEX's PuNK ROckER	it nice to know that he is just poking fun.... but it shows you what our society has become... lets play a game... pick any subject in the world... some one will be aginst it.

01-February-06, 12:35 PM		#8 (permalink)
Nerdz Sir Knight of Spamalot	I say we should just get rid of all the holidays, then no one will complain.. Newyears included, maybe 4th of july too, then those british "scum" wouldnt hate us so much , maybe we should also wipe canada off the map, bunch of lazy bums is what they are..WHAT HAS CANADA DONE FOR US?! Oh wait, They gave us Canadian Bacon, mmm bacon... Oh wait, they will, because their holiday got out lawed and banned because they wanted to get rid of it in the first place! In no way am I meant to offend anyone