Rules for entering Nebraska

NoSlak · 11-January-06, 12:09 PM

Just got this from Bro-in- Law:
RULES TO ENTER NEBRASKA

1. Pull up your droopy pants. You look like an idiot.

2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a

pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're

going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

3. They are cattle & feed lots. That's what they smell like to you.

They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-80 goes

east and west.

4. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $200,000

combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being

friendly. Try to understand the concept.

6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of pheasants are coming in,

we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up

to your ear at the time.

7. Yeah, we eat catfish. You really want sushi & caviar? It's

available at the corner bait shop.

8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of pheasant/deer season. It's

a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

9. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless

of age. We say Thank You, You're Welcome and God Bless, etc.

10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or

you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats,

vegetables and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and Picante

Sauce. Oh, yeah... We don't care what you folks in Malibu call that

stuff you eat...We call it a Runza or a Rueben. Both originated in

Nebraska.

12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served

over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know

how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

13. The "Huskers", High School

Football/Baseball/Volleyball/Basketball/Track/Wresting/Softball - as

important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a whole lot more fun to

watch.

14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards. It

spooks the fish.

15. Colleges? Try Lincoln, Omaha, Kearney, Wayne, Chadron, York or a

bunch a'others. They come outa there with an education plus a love for

God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come

for the holidays.

16. So just Wave if you are a NEBRASKAN..............

Always remember

what Gen. Eisenhower once said: "Nebraska can make it without the

United States

but the United States can't make it without Nebraska."

PHLAK · 11-January-06, 12:23 PM

That explains it perfectly! I should add a few to the list! Like "Corn fed and hand spanked"

p0opstinksal0t · 11-January-06, 05:02 PM

You Know You're From Nebraska When...

At least four people you know have hit a deer more than once.
At least three of those people have the antlers mounted and on display in their living room or den.

11-January-06, 12:09 PM		#1 (permalink)
NoSlak Gridiron	Rules for entering Nebraska Just got this from Bro-in- Law: RULES TO ENTER NEBRASKA 1. Pull up your droopy pants. You look like an idiot. 2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way. 3. They are cattle & feed lots. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-80 goes east and west. 4. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $200,000 combines that are driven only 3 weeks a year. 5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept. 6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of pheasants are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time. 7. Yeah, we eat catfish. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop. 8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of pheasant/deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November. 9. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age. We say Thank You, You're Welcome and God Bless, etc. 10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey. 11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and Picante Sauce. Oh, yeah... We don't care what you folks in Malibu call that stuff you eat...We call it a Runza or a Rueben. Both originated in Nebraska. 12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair. 13. The "Huskers", High School Football/Baseball/Volleyball/Basketball/Track/Wresting/Softball - as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a whole lot more fun to watch. 14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards. It spooks the fish. 15. Colleges? Try Lincoln, Omaha, Kearney, Wayne, Chadron, York or a bunch a'others. They come outa there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come for the holidays. 16. So just Wave if you are a NEBRASKAN.............. Always remember what Gen. Eisenhower once said: "Nebraska can make it without the United Statesbut the United States can't make it without Nebraska."

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11-January-06, 12:23 PM		#2 (permalink)
PHLAK Apex Tech God	That explains it perfectly! I should add a few to the list! Like "Corn fed and hand spanked"

11-January-06, 05:02 PM		#3 (permalink)
p0opstinksal0t Apex Master Tech	You Know You're From Nebraska When... At least four people you know have hit a deer more than once. At least three of those people have the antlers mounted and on display in their living room or den.