From CNN.com this evening...

Quote: Long Island principal cancels prom Principal: School 'willing to sponsor a prom, but not an orgy' Sunday, October 16, 2005; Posted: 7:29 p.m. EDT (23:29 GMT) UNIONDALE, New York (AP) -- Brother Kenneth M. Hoagland had heard all the stories about prom-night debauchery at his Long Island high school: Students putting down $10,000 to rent a party house in the Hamptons. Pre-prom ****tail parties followed by a trip to the dance in a liquor-loaded limo. Fathers chartering a boat for their children's late-night "booze cruise." Enough was enough, Hoagland said. So the principal of Kellenberg Memorial High School canceled the spring prom in a 2,000-word letter to parents this fall. "It is not primarily the sex/booze/drugs that surround this event, as problematic as they might be; it is rather the flaunting of affluence, assuming exaggerated expenses, a pursuit of vanity for vanity's sake -- in a word, financial decadence," Hoagland said, fed up with what he called the "bacchanalian aspects." "Each year it gets worse -- becomes more exaggerated, more expensive, more emotionally traumatic," he said. "We are withdrawing from the battle and allowing the parents full responsibility. [Kellenberg] is willing to sponsor a prom, but not an orgy." The move brought a mixed, albeit passionate, reaction from students and parents at the Roman Catholic school, which is owned by the Society of Mary (Marianists), a religious order of priests and brothers. "I don't think it's fair, obviously, that they canceled prom," said senior Alyssa Johnson of Westbury. "There are problems with the prom, but I don't think their reasons or the actions they took solved anything." Hoagland began talking about the future of the prom last spring after 46 Kellenberg seniors made a $10,000 down payment on a $20,000 rental in the Hamptons for a post-prom party. When school officials found out, they forced the students to cancel the deal; the kids got their money back and the prom went on as planned. But some parents went ahead and rented a Hamptons house anyway, Hoagland said. Amy Best, an associate professor of sociology and anthropology at George Mason University in Virginia and the author of "Prom Night: Youth, Schools and Popular Culture," said this is the first time she has heard of a school canceling the prom for such reasons. "A lot of people have lamented the growing consumption that surrounds the prom," she said, noting it is not uncommon for students to pay $1,000 on the dance and surrounding folderol: expensive dresses, tuxedo rentals, flowers, limousines, pre- and post-prom parties. Best pinned some of the blame for the burgeoning costs on parents, who are often willing to open their wallets for whatever their child demands. "It is a huge misperception that the kids themselves are totally driving this," she said. Edward Lawson, the father of a Kellenberg senior, said he and other parents are discussing whether to organize a prom without the sponsorship of the 2,500-student school. "This is my fourth child to go through Kellenberg and I don't think they have a right to judge what goes on after the prom," he said. "They put everybody in the category of drinkers and drug addicts. I don't believe that's the right thing to do." Some parents waiting to pick up their children on a recent afternoon said they support Hoagland. "The school has excellent values," said Margaret Cameron of Plainview. "We send our children here because we support the values and the administration of the school and I totally back everything they do." Hoagland said in an interview that parents, who pay $6,025 in annual tuition, have expressed appreciation for his stern stand. "For some, it [the letter] was an eye-opener," he said. "Others feel relieved that the pressure is off of them." Chris Laine, a senior from Rockville Centre, said the cancellation was "unfortunate, but you can't really argue with the facts they present. ... It's just what it's evolved into. It's not what it was 20, 30 or 40 years ago. It's turned into something it wasn't originally intended to be." Besides, Laine noted, the senior class still has a four-day trip to Disney World scheduled for April. "We go to all the parks with our friends," Laine said just before hopping into his jet-black Infiniti and driving off to meet friends for an after-school snack. "We fly down together and stay in the same hotel and so it's not like we're totally losing everything." Copyright 2005 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

So, what do you think? Did the school do the right thing? Or do you believe that it isn't the school's responsibility what happens off school grounds.

I voted that they did the right thing only because of the pre-prom coktails parties and drinking of the liquor in the limo on the way to the school. Unfortunately, proms in today's world has been modified into a "rite of passage" for the younger generation to experience adulthood. The consumption of alcohol after these events has become the norm, or even the requirement, to maintaining their status in the high school amongst their peers.

I'll admit that when I was younger and in high school, we wound up out in the middle of a cornfield with a huge bonfire and a bunch of sleeping bags. If anyone were to have driven home, there was always a sober driver available to take them home. While we did consume, it certainly wasn't to the excess of reguritating said alcohol from the same oriface it entered.

Some prom parties that I've had the "pleasure" of seeing in the past few years (friends have asked me to come help babysit) have gone off the deep end. Limos are rented and dresses only worn once are bought. Alcohol was made plenty available and, believe it or not, condoms. I've given my friends a dressing down for their condonement of this type of behavior and cited they are the reason why their sweet, little innocent daughter is going to get knocked up and/or drop out of college to live in a trailerpark with an on and off again boyfriend.

This sounds like it contridicts what I posted in Wellmont's thread that the government has no right to interfere with the parent's responsibilities of parenting their children. However, it does have to involve the school as children are arriving to the prom, which most of the time takes place on school grounds or if rented by the school is classified under law as being school property for the duration, absolutely stinking drunk.

I've had friends that were killed on prom night because they were drinking and driving. Luckily, none of them went to my high school (where we practiced the bonfire/campout deal).

What do you think?

Rob

No orgy? Wtf man....

I would have been pissed if prom was cancled. I dont go to afterpartys or anything but dam I had enough fun dancing on prom.

Being the type of person I am, I would have revolted since I payed alot of cash for a tux and the class dues.

Proms are proper ghey anyway. Yeah I know its off School property, but if my reputable institution was in any way linked to something like that, id sure as hell want nothing to do with it.

i agree with the school. it is a private school so they can do pretty much what they want. i'm more worried that the parents are spoiling their children so much that they can't judge the value of money. if any of you have seen the MTV show "My Sweet 16" or whatever the heck that crap is called, its the same deal. these kids are getting whatever they want and the parents are condoning their actions. apparently they don't care if their kids are going around drinking and having sex since they're the ones paying for it . ..

Since I skipped my senior prom and I can see both sides of this argument, I voted "do not care either way". Not really how I feel so much as it is the closest answer.

[sarcasm] I mean come on... EVERYONE knows by now that Catholic school girls put out.[/sarcasm]
(Yes, I went to Catholic school through 4th grade)

If the school found out that the hardcore partying plans were being made to occur DURING the prom, at a time and place that the school and all associcated are responsible for, then sure, cancel the dance . . . but since these are all party's that are happening after the fact, off of school property, then don't cancel.

It boils down to Hoagland pushing his personal views upon the situation and not allowing the parents to take responsiblity for the situation.

Now, ethically, and morally, he is correct, but the issue isn't HIS ethics, but the ethics of those parents who are setting up a place for their children to party - which, by the way, is a hell of a lot more responsible than those parents who choose to believe that their children won't be involved in SOME sort of party. (Not that I'm saying ALL the kids at that school are little alcoholics, but I know from my own time in highschool that most kids are going to go out and party hard the night of Prom.)

I had to vote "I don't care" because of my views.

Should they have cancled the prom? No.

Should a private business be allowed to cancel an event? Yes.

When I was that age I never went to prom. I was already at the parties. Yah.. they were right.

Well, my initial formal schooling only took me through the 8th grade, so I don't even know what it is like to go to High School or attend a prom. I am the parent of a Freshman and Junior though, so I have a full understanding of what some parents will do for their children.

My youngest was in 6th grade when he went to a birthday party that involved him being picked up in a 16 passenger limo, eating at Red Lobster, and then having the bowling alley rented just for them. I allowed him to go since it was chaperoned by both the parents and grandparents of the birthday boy.

There is no way in hell I would allow my either of my sons to attend a party at a rented house or boat where there was even a chance of illegal activities going on.

In my opinion, which is the only one that matters to me, too many parents are kissing their children's ass in order to show what great parents they are. If the neighbor buys a new Volkswagon for the kid, the parents must buy a BMW for their kid to show that they love their child more. Hell no!

I purchased a car so my eldest can get to school and work, but he fully understands that it is MY car. He has to ask to use it and knows full well that I may swing by wherever he says he is going just to ensure that the car is parked there. He thinks that I am too hard on him, but I know he will eventually realize that I am only looking out for him.

Every weekend I catch the news and hear all these horror stories about the children who died in Kansas City. I'm sure that those parents were very liberal with their restrictions and thought they were being very "modern" in their parenting. And their kids are dead. I'm ain't going to apologize for being an asshole when it comes to my children's activities, they will live long enough to thank me.

I voted "yes" - I'm not getting any at the moment, and I don't see why anyone else should either

Skipped my prom, went straight to the party! Did all the stuff kids shouldn't really do.
Thankfully, what I did do, didn't alter the rest of my life (or end it).

The difference is my parents didn't sponsor my behavior! It never ceases to amaze me when I hear about "well-to-do" parents enabling drug use or drinking for their children. I always thought your parents were supposed to be the voice of reason for their kids....and protect them.
In my area there was a couple of instances where some "modern" parents allowed their underage kids to throw some backyard parties with drinking and even some mild drug use. Their thoughts were that "if the kids are going to do it, they might as well so it at home". The jerks quickly found themselves in lockup. And so it should be.

A high school prom is not a "right of passage" and an excuse for drinking, simply because in most states, the legal age is 21, and I hope there are not a lot of kids that are turning 21 during high school!
While the school cannot dictate what happens of the grounds, at least they showed some responsibility since the parents couldn't step up. I'm more surprised the parents weren't arrested for enabling the illegal drinking!

And yes, the year before I graduated, there was a car accident involving students drinking and driving.... two kids were critically injured, two died.

I Am current high school student and I voted Yes, its the right thing to do. Prom ,even in my little Tennessee town, is getting to be the same way. The upper class parents in my town are spending upwards of 100,000 dollars a year per child in their family half of which is probably prom.They do infact rent huge limos and half of nearby hotels out for their children to party at. At least 4 kids per year OD and die at these parties but parents keep throwing them for their spoiled kids and then act all surprised when one of those ODed kids is theirs.

I went to a school down the road run by the same Marianists (Chaminade) and am not surprised at all by this. The brothers were very conscious of the costs associated with these events and we were under very strict rules at my prom (given that was 12 years ago.) Long Island is notorious for spoiled children and it's nice to see them taking a stand against this.

i voted i dont care, i went to my junior prom and thought it was a waist of money and time so i didnt even bother going to my senior. pretty typical though kids with rich parents getting what they want. but aparently they suck at keeping there mouths closed

Quote: Originally Posted by me_john85 i voted i dont care, i went to my junior prom and thought it was a waist of money and time so i didnt even bother going to my senior. pretty typical though kids with rich parents getting what they want. but aparently they suck at keeping there mouths closed

My story of Senior Prom

Dam girlfriend FORCED me to go to my senior prom. I told her to go to hell and we broke up. Jk...

Actually, Prom was on the weekend of Lan War 26 which I only discovered after two months of payment and plans for LW26. When I told my GF that I did not care for Senior prom as I went to my junior one with her (kinda, where we met). She ****ing flipped out on me, got all moody.

At that point, I did tell her bassically to go to hell. I was not comprimising. Of course, this is after her retarted ass spent tons of money on a dress before making sure she had a dam date. So now I had her parents on me to making the guilt trip then my parents got on me as well and to add the dam icing on the cake GK and Froggie Girl told me to take her as well! I was like...wtf, FINE!!!! (i was planing on going like always with GK)

OOOO, and there was another thing. This other guy asked her to their schools prom (we were at different schools) so I found out I did not even need to go after I told her I would! I was MAD, really MAD. This of course spills over to prom night (my anger). BTW, she ended up going with him as well.

I took her, and that night...

We broke up! So I had my ****ing plans lost for a ****ty time with a ****ty girl for some ****ty brakeup and I had to have her back within a ****ty time of 11 which did not even allow for a ****ty ****.

Yea...two months later we got back together. And now we have broken it off again for just about the same reasons. I bet money in a little we find we are better off together. But not until she drops 30 pounds cause I did two years ago when we dated and I am tired of that fact that she won't give it her all like I did.

She did date that other guy that asked her for a little while but it turns out her was a loser and she started to talk to me again. Now that i think back, if the sex was not so dam good I would of told her to go, well you get the point.


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In regards to to poll, I vote no they should have it. I would of tought my child what was right and wrong well before they even steped in the doors. If I can't trust my child at a party while he is under my house then there is no way I have raised him well enough to make it outside of the home at a similar event. Thats my opinon...I can go more indept but I feel that I have made enough here and I got to get to Spanish now.

Didn't go to either of my proms. Wasn't going to spend the money, wasn't interested in the dancing, wouldn't have had a date, and didn't have to explain to my parents 3-6 months after the prom (like some people I knew) why my prom date was starting to get roundbelly.

Now, if the school sponsors an event, whether a dance, sporting event, prom, sack races, whatever; it is perfectly within their right to cancel said event. Period. Doesn't matter if it's tradition, doesn't matter if the people going to the event has spent 50 grand to outdo everyone else in the pi$$ing contest that high school has become. The Hummer limo can be returned, the dresses/tuxes can be returned, and the alcohol . . . will keep. About the only way you can loose major money is that the strippers/pro's will expect to still get paid whether anything happened or not.

Now, if the parents want to throw a social instead of the school prom and have it put a dozen years of National Lampoon movies to shame -- more power to them. That way, if anything happens, they're the ones that have to look in the mirror the rest of their lives, not the school officials. IMHO, Main reason daddy wants junior to have that kind of night is that either a) its the one memory in the kids life that he can cling to when everything else dives into mediocrity for 50-60 years like his old man's did, b) he wants to chaparone to see if he can add a couple more notches in his belt with the younger female generation, or c) he has a reputation to uphold - even if it kills him (or anyone around him).

Sorry for the rant, I imagine pretty much everyone has a story about a prom night fatality. The ones that I was close to involved (over several years) 6 due to alcohol poisoning, 11 due to drunk driving/drunk drivers, and 2 due to girls dropping their 'prom gifts' in a dumpster 9 months later. I'm not saying that eliminating the prom eliminates the problem, but it does eliminate one more excuse to go too far over the top.

I voted for yes, I think the school did the correct thing.

While the steps seem extreme, it is a school sponsered activity. The school had the right to allow it or not. In regards to extreme measures, all three sides (students, school, and parents) are at fault. The extreme measures were needed since no one addressed the problem initially when it first reared it's head.

True, not all of the kids were involved in the "orgy", so there were people that played by the rules that affected by this. However...those students and parents could have organized their own party in place of the prom.

Now mentioning the people that played by the rules...that refers to the individuals that were not involved in the pre-prom parties. Whether or not they were involved in other activities at the prom itself, is a different story.

A point to make concerning the activities before and after the prom. I can pretty much guarantee they were happening during prom too.

So was the school justified in their action? Yes.
Should they have taken steps before it got this bad? Yes.
Did they have any other options? I don't know, and I don't care that whiney parents/students are complaining about. They can vote for new school officals in the next go-around.

Quote: Originally Posted by SpikeShot My story of Senior Prom ... Yea...two months later we got back together. And now we have broken it off again for just about the same reasons. I bet money in a little we find we are better off together. But not until she drops 30 pounds cause I did two years ago when we dated and I am tired of that fact that she won't give it her all like I did. ...

and we ate how many twinkies and cupcakes the other night?

haha just kidding bro, awesome story.

While really I don't care, I think if I were put in the school's position the answer would definately be yes.

While I don't think the problem lies in the display of wealth (it's a problem but out of the school's hands), when post-prom festivities are that big and garnish that big of attention, the prom itself looks like a warmup for the main booze-guzzling event. And as a school they can't and shouldn't condone underage drinking.

But really, I don't think it's newsworthy. If I were a student there I'd say "wow, what assholes" and shrug it off. It's just more important because the kids involved are filthy rich