Ok, here's the deal. I am 22, yet I still live at home (i've graduated from college and DO have a full-time job making semi-decent money, about 25k/year, so don't think that i'm a free-loading leach). The ONLY reason i live at home is because my parents are cutting a deal with me before I get married next June...so, yes...i could move out over this, but then i wouldn't be able to save up money for a house/honey moon, etc... I pay $200.00 a month for a flat rate with the intention that i will recieve all the months "rent" back (in conjunction with a wedding gift) when i get married. (granted, my parents promises never live up to what they're supposed to be...i was promised a car if i saved up enough money, did my end, parents fell through on theirs and I had to purchase it all no my own)

Ok, so there's my situation...my problem is that my dad likes to *ahem* download torrents (mostly movies and such) constantly, but since they are torrents, in order to get, you have to share...which means upload, which means destroys the entire network for everyone else speedwise. This, however, cuts into my ability to do pretty much everything on my computer (mostly gaming). I dont' have a lot of time to devote to it anymore (9-5 job will do that to anyone and a fiance ), but when I DO want to partake in a little Battlefield 2 or Countstrike: Source, i can't because my ping is up towards the 1000 range (where the usual is 20-80). This is literally driving me nuts and I'm getting quite perturbed with my dads defenses to my fights with him.

His defense consists strictly of three phrases... "It's my house, I can do what I want" and "I don't care what you think, and I dont' have to" and finally "If you'd stop limiting my downloads, I'd be done already"

Granted, i know he's my dad and he can "set the rules" any way he wishes, but all i'm asking for is 7 hours during the week, and most of the weekend. I'd like the network to be free for anyone between 5PM and midnight, and for most of the day on saturday and sunday. He will have none of this, and will hear none of it. And that is what really pisses me off.

I do pay to live in the house, so i feel that i should have some say in how it operates. It's not like i'm a leach, free-loading off my parents. I have a good, steady job and am able to pay them on time with rent every month so far. And its not like i'm demanding them to serve me hand and foot, because i'm not and i would never ask them to do that.

So, my questions is....am I going nuts over this for nothing, or is my dad really just being, for lack of a better term, a total @$$ about the whole situation? I really feel that I am very right in this matter and thats why my dad is acting so weird about it, because he knows he's wrong.

And just so everyone knows...I'm not a begging child at all, I do not really ask for anything from my parents, I usually don't complain about silly stuff like this, but when its somethign thats important to me I tend to put up a fight.

Sorry for the EXTREMELY long post...but I had to vent. I've talked to my fiance about it, my best friend, and my brother (granted, all biased opinions) and they all tend to agree with me....i was just wondering what you guys thought. And, at the moment I'm deciding to NOT pay rent next month based on this issue. Its the only barganing chip that I have, so I might as well use it...

And the two files he's downloading are a movie that just came out on DVD that'll finish in about 18-25 hours, while the other is an old movie (about 3-5 years old) that will take TWENTY-ONE FRICKEN DAYS to finish...all because he doesnt' get the most widely shared files...

if you werent paying anything then i would understand but since your paying 200$ etc etc i think u should ether set up some sort of internet plan (ex: from so and so u get internet and from so and so he gets internet) also why dont u just tell him to download torrent overnight when everyones sleeping wont change anything for him, and youll ne able to play whenever u want

Damn... $200.00? Money you'll GET BACK!?!

My folks are chargin' me 425+utlities... I can't afford to move out and I can't afford to stay... My girl and I are trying to find cheaper accomadations...

Quote: Originally Posted by Dr3w if you werent paying anything then i would understand but since your paying 200$ etc etc i think u should ether set up some sort of internet plan (ex: from so and so u get internet and from so and so he gets internet) also why dont u just tell him to download torrent overnight when everyones sleeping wont change anything for him, and youll ne able to play whenever u want

This is something I've already discussed with him and he gave me the usual "I don't care what you think, this is my house...this is what I'm going to do." I then told him..."well, I pay to live here too" and he said "I know..." and dropped the whole discussion (mostly because I had to go to work, and just stormed out of the house this morning...

believe me...i'm not just some whining kid, and if i didn't pay anything, I would be upset, but I would know I wouldn't have any say in the matter and would have to 'deal with it'

You may not like this but I'm on dad's side.

What about getting your own dedicated connection? I'm sure your local cable or DSL company
would help you out with that.

i see, hmmm, have you thought about getting another connection just for you ?, and then again in bitorrent i get to choose howmuch bandwish i want to share, its usualy at 10kb if im doing something and it doesnt change anything, why dont you set his to that

Quote: Originally Posted by NCXCStud This is something I've already discussed with him and he gave me the usual "I don't care what you think, this is my house...this is what I'm going to do." I then told him..."well, I pay to live here too" and he said "I know..." and dropped the whole discussion (mostly because I had to go to work, and just stormed out of the house this morning... believe me...i'm not just some whining kid, and if i didn't pay anything, I would be upset, but I would know I wouldn't have any say in the matter and would have to 'deal with it'

Just curious are you on a dialup with 1000 ping to be that high ?

Pay for your own connection. If he is using cable, pay for DSL or vice-versa.

You do know with the latest version of bit torrent you can select how much bandwith you would like to share. I love using BIt torrent to grab the latest linux distros because its super fast.

This is about the only thing my parents have given me in a long time...and its kind of a payback plan to me over all the things i've been shafted by with them since about my senior year of high school. When I went away to college, I became non-existant it seemed to them and have had to provide for myself with everything (books, food, clothes, car, my own personal purchases (not one part in my computer is from them...i've paid for the entire 1500 i've put into it over the last few years))...so, yeah, its a good deal...and I'm very thankful for that, but i can tell you right now. I'm not going to get anywhere near the 2400 they're promising (200/12 months). Somethign will come up where they'll have to dip into that account they've set-up to bail my lazy (leach) of a step-sister who has two kids and is living in a house for practically NOTHING while she bides her time deciding whether she wants to be a lazy nurse or a lazy mom...she' supposed to pay 600/month but can barely afford to pay 100....she buys food for her kids and even lazier live-in boyfriend (the father of her two kids)...thats where I've determined my money will go in about 6 months time...i'll get the usual..."Matt...we're sorry to tell you this, but we're not going to be able to do what we promised last summer...."

heres my thought----it is his house----and you have to obey the rules. but--see if you can talk to him and get him to lower the 200 bucks rent, and get your own internet. say lower it to 275-280. where i live a cox internet account is only 40 bucks a month. since you wouldnt be using his internet, he shouldnt charge you for it. just my thought.

and do you have access to the router? lots of stuff in there you can use to limit his bandwidth.

and have you mentioned that downloading movies is ILLEGAL??

Quote: Originally Posted by ranger1033 Just curious are you on a dialup with 1000 ping to be that high ?

ok, if you're not going to read the entire message that I wrote, and pick out where i said 1000 ping and not notice that I'm refering to the fact that my dad is downloading stuff to bump my ping that high when its usually between 20-80...then you really shouldn't reply to the thread. I'm being a jerk about that, but come on...

I have thought about getting my own dedicated connectino, and if i did...i'd try to go into the cable route for the sole reason that I don't want to get tied into a DSL contract (taht and I hate DSL...) i'm just unsure if a house can get two dedicated cable lines into one house...and taht would more then likely require an external and extra line going to my room (i live in the room over the garage) which they wouldn't approve of.

Quote: Originally Posted by NCXCStud ok, if you're not going to read the entire message that I wrote, and pick out where i said 1000 ping and not notice that I'm refering to the fact that my dad is downloading stuff to bump my ping that high when its usually between 20-80...then you really shouldn't reply to the thread. I'm being a jerk about that, but come on... I have thought about getting my own dedicated connectino, and if i did...i'd try to go into the cable route for the sole reason that I don't want to get tied into a DSL contract (taht and I hate DSL...) i'm just unsure if a house can get two dedicated cable lines into one house...and taht would more then likely require an external and extra line going to my room (i live in the room over the garage) which they wouldn't approve of.

no it doesnt. i had 2 cable accounts running from the same jack in the wall. used a splitter. as long as your db is high enough---you can have as many cable accounts you want to in a house....

Quote: Originally Posted by LwrS10 heres my thought----it is his house----and you have to obey the rules. but--see if you can talk to him and get him to lower the 200 bucks rent, and get your own internet. say lower it to 275-280. where i live a cox internet account is only 40 bucks a month. since you wouldnt be using his internet, he shouldnt charge you for it. just my thought. and do you have access to the router? lots of stuff in there you can use to limit his bandwidth. and have you mentioned that downloading movies is ILLEGAL??

oh, believe me i know i can limit his bandwidth or block his whole downloading habits entirely through our router, i've already done it to see if I could. But, i'm trying to take this in a way that he won't be really pissed with me and continue to be a jerk about it all.

I really am trying to act rational about this and be mature about it. I've tried discussing these issues with him, but for some reason, he's coming out to be the "childish" one through all of this. I'm the one willing to compromise, yet he won't have anythign to do with it.

I do realize that it is his house and he has the right to set what rules he wants, but i am paying to live here...and thats whats pissing me off the most. Not that I can't play games, but that my views don't matter (which he's already addressed to me). He wouldn't treat a random tenant this way, so i don't feel he should treat me this way just because I'm his son.

just lower his shareing bandwith.. he wont realize it, it wont change nothing for him, and youll be happy that easy

Quote: Originally Posted by Dr3w just lower his shareing bandwith.. he wont realize it, it wont change nothing for him, and youll be happy that easy

Messing with the manÂ’s hobby could back fire. You may get away with that for a while but then you may not.

Go the “get your own connection direction”

Quote: Originally Posted by Dr3w just lower his shareing bandwith.. he wont realize it, it wont change nothing for him, and youll be happy that easy

Ok, another point to give...he's not computer illiterate. He'd eventually turn to the router (he's already found that I limited his sharing bandwidth on many occasions). So, yes, he would notice. Don't think that I havn't thought out and done these, otherwise, great ideas

Quote: Originally Posted by NCXCStud oh, believe me i know i can limit his bandwidth or block his whole downloading habits entirely through our router, i've already done it to see if I could. But, i'm trying to take this in a way that he won't be really pissed with me and continue to be a jerk about it all. I really am trying to act rational about this and be mature about it. I've tried discussing these issues with him, but for some reason, he's coming out to be the "childish" one through all of this. I'm the one willing to compromise, yet he won't have anythign to do with it. I do realize that it is his house and he has the right to set what rules he wants, but i am paying to live here...and thats whats pissing me off the most. Not that I can't play games, but that my views don't matter (which he's already addressed to me). He wouldn't treat a random tenant this way, so i don't feel he should treat me this way just because I'm his son.

i could go into the relation me and my dad had when i lived with him after high school--but i wont--its the same as your situation. but i will tell you this----we get along great now that ive moved out.


youve never had a boss thats this way? you kinda just have to live with it. and i would bet that you dont bring it up in a nice manner either. id be willing to bet you confront him about it when your pissed.

here another way to fix it. go do something with your dad---that you both enjoy. go play some golf or something. something that you both forget your differences and just hang out. neutral ground i guess you could say. then bring the internet thing up. IN A NICE WAY. work towards a compromise. not against him.

you can reason with anyone--you just have to find a way to do it.

Quote: Originally Posted by NCXCStud Ok, another point to give...he's not computer illiterate. He'd eventually turn to the router (he's already found that I limited his sharing bandwidth on many occasions). So, yes, he would notice. Don't think that I havn't thought out and done these, otherwise, great ideas

alright but what does it change for him to have it higher besides you cant play your games.. thats what i dont understand ?

Granted, i've probably not been in the best moods when discussing this with him, but I do try to act as civil as possible about it....but its hard to stay civil (don't worry, we don't/havn't yelled in a "fight" yet) when someone says that what you say doesn't matter at all...

Other than this, my dad and I get along great. We really do have a great relationship and I do love him dearly. We both sit around and bitch about the Texas Rangers and Dallas Cowboys together, enjoy and watch movies/TV together...but for some reason, we CANNOT agree on this issue. This has been the only true "kink" in our relationship that I've voiced concern over. I've confronted him about the other "double standards" that exist between myself and the rest of the kids....but most of it i just let slide because there is nothing i can do about it.