Here is what I wanna say one day at work (and actually may when I finally get fed up):

"Tell ya what *bleep*-tard, why don't you do the *bleep*-ing job yourself.
Either that, or shove it in your *bleep* sideways until you choke on the *bleep*-ing thing, you God-*bleep*-ed *bleep*-ing no good son of a *bleep*!"

HEY!! Watch you language....LOL

"Hi, welcome to McDonald's, where we add extra special sauce and mayo to every order!"

"Hi, welcome to McDonald's, we're currently not accepting orders at this time, please try back in 8 hours when someone gives a damn."

"Hi, welcome to McDonald's, may I **** up your order?"

"Hi, welcome to McDonald's, " .... wait a minute... no, it goes more like this: "What the hell do you want, you wanker?"

Bah-dah-bap-bap-bah, I'm rubbin' it... says my co-worker... he's a funny guy.

I'd rather substitute hatin' it, but eh..

And the one thing I'd like to say at work, but never have been able to say yet (but have come very close, very often lately)

"Okay, F*** this! I'm outta here, you f***'ers! Have fun in hell!"

"Since we don't do anything around here we decided to just throw 200 pieces and smoke cigarettes the rest of the night.... Have fun stocking the other 1200 pieces "

"We decided to do your jobs instead of doing ours, so we walked around alot yelled at eachother, and smoked alot of cigarettes."

"Really? You are going to supsend me? Really? Could it be for a week?"- I've done this

chanting "BURN THE JEWEL!! BURN THE JEWEL!" while dancing around the boss waving my cutter over my head.

"you threaten me as if I cared, I find that mildly ammusing"

"If stupidity came in kilobits, you would be a terrabyte"

"I've been saying that for 6 months, do we need to upgrade your memory?"

"Nobody likes to hear someone tell them "I told you so", which is why I'm saying that to you right now"

Quote: Originally Posted by overkill "I've been saying that for 6 months, do we need to upgrade your memory?"

I wish I had a dollar for everytime I said or thought something similar.

i use all four of those quoptes on a weekly basis, among others.

one of my other favorites i use is,

"After 5 years here, if anyone is under the impression that I give a damn, they are sorely mistaken"

Customer asks me a question but the foreign accent that is to thick for me to understand..

"Ummm Well...Sir/Ma'm could you repeat that slowly so I can understand the anunciations? No!? Ok.. I am new here so let me get my manager."~ Bob Becker (proceeds to hide anywhere I can)

You manage a retail store that has elctronics in it but have no clue as to what they do...OK!!!! Google Is your Friend.." ~Bob Becker (to new manager at OMax)

"Yeah I was nevefr trained to do that so can you take of the customer while I help someone else??" ~Bob Becker (duck and cover)

"Sir/Ma'm Please Swipe you card and follow the directions on the screen..(proceeds to ignore em for Credit Cards and puts em back in wallet and pocket/purse) "Yes I will need t o see your card please "(He/She is now mad at me cause they didn't follow directions and starts giving me attitude) "Please don't cope and attitude to me cause you didn't follow directions set for you and have a nice day"~Bob

~Bob

The things I would say at work..
Now this is a topic that would cause such a long post.

Let's just say.. it's way beyond anything else.
Try catering to the rich, and have them use, abuse and rub your face in it.

Things I would like to say at work: (Dell Tech Service)

Ok, mam, do you still have the box your computer came in....Yes...ok this is what i need you to do....box it all up and send it back because you are not smart emough to operate a computer.

ok, mam, maaaam. shut up and stop interrupting me.