She dumped me...

Darksamurai · 23-July-04, 05:19 AM

Welllll... nothing like a happy ending 'eh?

Knew something was up tonight from the get-go. She kind of got vague when I mentioned an activity next week, and she ended up drinking at dinner (which she doesn't do)...

We ended up at a hotel tonight... Not sure what the hell happened, but I moved in to kiss her, and she pretty much shook her head no. Asked her straight out, "Do you think it will ever work with us?" (there's a lot more story here, but I just don't feel like telling it...). She told me straight out, "No. I wanted it to, but I'm sorry."

She kept saying I was a nice guy, and she was happy to be out with me, and everything... said she really wanted to feel somethin' for me 'cause I had treated her well... but no.

I was actually starting to think I loved her. She was unique... one-of-a-kind (kinda like me)... Should know better than that crap. Never get attached to anyone... best to keep things loose and not get too attached. I forgot my own rule, and this time it bit me.

Oh well.

The kicker is she said she might call me in a couple weeks. Told her if she calls me, she better be serious.

I don't want to waste either of our time with somethin' that'll never turn into love. I have enough problems in life. As she said it'll never happen, I think the next girl I'm dating is gonna be a sexual deal. I don't think I'm going to feel like doing this kind of crap again anytime soon. Sex is nice and simple... love is too complicated.

Back to bein' single. Less expensive than dating anyway...

TekXoID · 23-July-04, 05:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darksamurai


	The kicker is she said she might call me in a couple weeks. Told her if she calls me, she better be serious.

That means you're her backup, if everything else fails and she needs someone to either fall back onto or cry upon shoulder, it'll be you.

Stick with purely sexual relationships.

Darksamurai · 23-July-04, 05:30 AM

Great... I'm learning. All the wonderous things I probably should have learned years ago, but I was busy being really antisocial. In between it was just sex, no relationship. Those work out okay, but they usually don't last.

told that girl I wasn't gonna hold my breath for her call...

Jonny English · 23-July-04, 07:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darksamurai


	... She kept saying I was a nice guy ...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She used the _N_ word !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry it didn't work out DS ..... I bet she said "It's not you, it's me" too

-=XPS=- · 23-July-04, 07:26 AM

you mighta been too nice. do you knwo if she was mistreeted as a kid? she might have an inbeded need to be with a bad guy. using you as a back up would make sence for this, cuz if she got too chaotic with her bad guy, she would come back to you, but she needs chaos.

just an idea.

Fatsobob · 23-July-04, 08:48 AM

that sucks ds
oh well, easy come easy go

Vada Fae · 23-July-04, 09:02 AM

Yeah, most girls want to be treated badly until about 30 or so and they realize that all the guys they date turn into jerks because they are attracked to jerks and then they make the conscious decision to date "nice" guys.

Most of us have been a friend to a smokin' hot chick who is dating some real Ahole. She always complains about him to you about how awful he is and you just sit there thinking "as soon as she realizes how great I am compared to this guys she's all mine." Well, that is not going to happen because she is excited by the jerk and not you.

So my fellow pimps, you have a choice to make. Be the friend and sit on the sidelines or be the jerk and let her complain to her nice guy friend.

Advise for DS. All is not lost yet. She has placed you in the bullpen for backup status. You need to be busy whenever she calls. If she says "can we go do something" the answer is you have something else planned. If she says how bout we do something later, don't let her pin you down on when. Tell her you'll call her on say Tuesday, then call her Thursday. You have to appear as if your always in play and then she will want to compete for your "business".

GlitterKill · 23-July-04, 09:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vada Fae


	Yeah, most girls want to be treated badly until about 30 or so and they realize that all the guys they date turn into jerks because they are attracked to jerks and then they make the conscious decision to date "nice" guys. Most of us have been a friend to a smokin' hot chick who is dating some real Ahole. She always complains about him to you about how awful he is and you just sit there thinking "as soon as she realizes how great I am compared to this guys she's all mine." Well, that is going to happen because sh is excited by the jerk and not you. So my fellow pimps, you have a choice to make. Be the friend and sit on the sidelines or be the jerk and let her complain to her nice guy friend. Advise for DS. All is not lost yet. She has placed you in the bullpen for backup status. You need to be busy whenever she calls. If she says "can we go do something" the answer is you have something else planned. If she says how bout we do something later, don't let her pin you down on when. Tell her you'll call her on say Tuesday, then call her Thursday. You have to appear as if your always in play and then she will want to compete for your "business".

Unfortunately this advice is good for about 90% of the female populace. You can find a woman that will truly appreciate someone who treats them good but it takes ALOT of looking.

Darksamurai · 23-July-04, 09:28 AM

I'm telling her sister to lose my number... as far as I know, she's the only one who has it.

I keep thinking about the thousand little things I should have noticed. She doesn't love me, and she never will... time isn't gonna change that.

As it is, I'm not lettin' anyone close to me for awhile...

To top it off, I'm putting in my two weeks notice in at work within the next couple days probably. I'm seriously burned out (didn't take long)... Job doesn't bother me so much, it's the amazing amount of procedures to get anything done. I'm sick of the pressure. I'd already decided that a few days ago... I've finally narrowed it down.

Time to start over again.

Jonny English · 23-July-04, 09:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by -=XPS=-


	you mighta been too nice. do you knwo if she was mistreeted as a kid? she might have an inbeded need to be with a bad guy. using you as a back up would make sence for this, cuz if she got too chaotic with her bad guy, she would come back to you, but she needs chaos. just an idea.

What happened to you rep points dude? That's just about the first time I've seen you demonstrate rational thought in a post (kind of a backhanded compliment there

) ... but you've immediately dropped to a double red?

godfoot · 23-July-04, 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jonny English


	That's just about the first time I've seen you demonstrate rational thought in a post...

Maybe XPS is a chick trying to pass herself off as a dude.

DuckWarrior · 23-July-04, 10:05 AM

Vada is right. Most women go with the badboy. For women, its the knowlege that should something happen, youd be there to take care of it.
Before you scoff at it or give a "yea, what the hell is that about?"
Think about what men will do for a large chested woman. Usually do pretty stupid sheeit, and if you couldnt tell what size half of them were, you wouldnt give the beatch the time of day.

As to what to do about this chick...Her loss, I know you Dave, if she doesnt have a clue as to what she is dropping, she aint worth your time.
I spent a year with a chick trying to make something work, and you cant force puzzle pieces to fit.

As to the Badboy myth. Its true, you have to give them the mystique. I spent years doing the "niceguy" thing. I mean, I was a nice guy. Shouldnt they notice its a better deal? Wakeup call!!! NO. If a chick has a trainwreck for a face, would you get to know her anyway? You should, but would you?
I changed a lot of what I did with women, the easiest way to explain it would be having a "Devil may care attitude" around them.
Never change who you are, modify how you SHOW them who you are.
Go with your own things. I rock climb, bungie jump and work with explosives. Its easy to draw confidence from that aspect and apply it to another but you have to think about it.
Women dont want to have a guy that kisses thier ass all the time. Think about that really geeky guy that runs around REALLY wanting to be your friend. Annoying isnt it?
Or how about,
If you were starving, there was a steak laying there, youd grab it fast right? What if it was on a table for you to take, but in the middle of a nice French Restraunt? Youd have to give the proper attitude and if you showed desperation youd lose it.....right?
But, show the right attitude, never what you think you should, just appropriate, and its yours for the taking!

Its not about changing who you are, just how you present the package.
Put a leather Jacket on the attitude, but stay the same person.
Dont ever break a date but "I have other plans" one day and not let on, keep it vague but not hidden...see the trend?

This is the best I can give without overexplaining.

Sometimes even the best cantidate just doesnt fit, just remember there are more women than men on this planet.

Darksamurai · 23-July-04, 10:36 AM

Duck... so it's like poker... you look excited, everyone is gonna fold...

Oh well, I think I dodged a bullet with this one anyway (still hurts), but all in all... next time, I'll make more of an effort to be an ass in the future. Nice guy isn't working for me I guess.

Seriously though, I think I'm just going to get comfortable with the fact I don't really need anyone. I was happier BEFORE this happened. Why the hell do I need another person in my life anyway... they take time, money and attention... I'm already waiting for my pets to die so I'll have greater freedom of movement.

I don't think I'm willing to give anything anymore...

CRE · 23-July-04, 10:40 AM

Terribly sorry to hear the bad news. Yes, I too have to agree with Vada... Some of them (many of them) think something's wrong if you treat them well. It doesn't mean all's lost though. Sometimes it just takes the "nice" longer to sink into thier cranium than the blatant BS they're used to and expect.... if you're a jerk to them it has more impact on them emotionally I guess, so they figure that since they think about the jerk more often he must be a better match. There were several times I ended up in a long relationship with a girl who'd started things out with lines like the ones she fed you but came around shortly thereafter.

My advise, if you honestly think you might still be interested, don't recoil.... don't act like a sick puppy when she calls either though. Just be yourself. She might come around. Once the shock of meeting "the world's only nice guy" wears off.

Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck with you future persuits.

Darksamurai · 23-July-04, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CRE


	My advise, if you honestly think you might still be interested, don't recoil.... don't act like a sick puppy when she calls either though. Just be yourself. She might come around. Once the shock of meeting "the world's only nice guy" wears off.

Believe me, whipped puppy is the last thing she gets if she calls.

Once someone hurts me, I'm ready for them to do it again... so I put up a lot of defenses. Nobody gets to hurt me twice 'cause after the initial assault, I may hurt, but I cut off every tie and that person doesn't mean much to me anymore.

I don't think I could bring myself around to care about her again...

Anathema · 23-July-04, 10:55 AM

You've got a message in your inbox, Dark..

I'll tell you what, I never understood that whole "You're too nice" thing that I hear from a lot of my peers. The concept makes no sense to me. Though, I think some of the women who say that sort of thing might be afraid that they'd get too attached and end up hurt again in the end. Just a theory. Humans are a funny thing. Everybody does different things for their own reason. You just have to roll with the punches.

Take care of yourself, Dark.

stereomod · 23-July-04, 11:35 AM

yah im getting the general idea here that maybe it wasn't going to work out in the long run but just remember man "that there are plenty of fish in the sea" its a big world! who knows maybe you'll find another just like have and this time it might go all the way!! I hope yah didn't mention PR too much during the date??? that'll kill any date , or could i be wrong???

sorry to hear about the split bud, just taker easy for abit and work on some computers , that might help yah get it over her!!!

SexyPants · 23-July-04, 12:38 PM

DAMNIT, NO! NO NO NO! I was honestly getting so excited about the last couple of posts about her....

But yeah, about the whole "nice guy" thing, I think I've even heard a girl admit that she only likes jerks. But I'm pretty sure there are some out there don't, and those ones tend to be a lot smarter and a lot more interesting than the rest. That's the type of person I'm waiting for, or maybe that explains why I've been waiting so damn long.

-=XPS=- · 23-July-04, 01:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jonny English


	What happened to you rep points dude? That's just about the first time I've seen you demonstrate rational thought in a post (kind of a backhanded compliment there ) ... but you've immediately dropped to a double red?

about the only think i have solid knowlage and experiance with is psycological and emotinal problems. being a problem whore myself, im good at dedueing other poples, and helping them with it. as for the rep. 3 negitives from a person with lots of rep(along with many other negs)

if any abuse by a male(or female) hapens when you are young, for a long period of time(or intence for a short time) the persons brain is rewired. they need somthing extream to exite them. somethign as extream as the abuse they received as a child. this can manifest its-self in sex adiction, bdsm, or bad people.

as retarded as it may seem, your brain is wired to need what hurt it at one time....

this is true of more than just relationships. its also leik this in males.

eventualy peopel can overcome this, but its very very hard to do. you basicly have to rewire your brain. this offen hapens later in life.

Spectrum · 23-July-04, 01:19 PM

XPS has 2 red rep bars!

23-July-04, 05:19 AM		#1 (permalink)
Darksamurai Sam-Hoe-rai N-Hoe-mad	She dumped me... Welllll... nothing like a happy ending 'eh? Knew something was up tonight from the get-go. She kind of got vague when I mentioned an activity next week, and she ended up drinking at dinner (which she doesn't do)... We ended up at a hotel tonight... Not sure what the hell happened, but I moved in to kiss her, and she pretty much shook her head no. Asked her straight out, "Do you think it will ever work with us?" (there's a lot more story here, but I just don't feel like telling it...). She told me straight out, "No. I wanted it to, but I'm sorry." She kept saying I was a nice guy, and she was happy to be out with me, and everything... said she really wanted to feel somethin' for me 'cause I had treated her well... but no. I was actually starting to think I loved her. She was unique... one-of-a-kind (kinda like me)... Should know better than that crap. Never get attached to anyone... best to keep things loose and not get too attached. I forgot my own rule, and this time it bit me. Oh well. The kicker is she said she might call me in a couple weeks. Told her if she calls me, she better be serious. I don't want to waste either of our time with somethin' that'll never turn into love. I have enough problems in life. As she said it'll never happen, I think the next girl I'm dating is gonna be a sexual deal. I don't think I'm going to feel like doing this kind of crap again anytime soon. Sex is nice and simple... love is too complicated. Back to bein' single. Less expensive than dating anyway...

23-July-04, 09:02 AM		#7 (permalink)
Vada Fae Apex Tech Fanatic Supreme	Yeah, most girls want to be treated badly until about 30 or so and they realize that all the guys they date turn into jerks because they are attracked to jerks and then they make the conscious decision to date "nice" guys. Most of us have been a friend to a smokin' hot chick who is dating some real Ahole. She always complains about him to you about how awful he is and you just sit there thinking "as soon as she realizes how great I am compared to this guys she's all mine." Well, that is not going to happen because she is excited by the jerk and not you. So my fellow pimps, you have a choice to make. Be the friend and sit on the sidelines or be the jerk and let her complain to her nice guy friend. Advise for DS. All is not lost yet. She has placed you in the bullpen for backup status. You need to be busy whenever she calls. If she says "can we go do something" the answer is you have something else planned. If she says how bout we do something later, don't let her pin you down on when. Tell her you'll call her on say Tuesday, then call her Thursday. You have to appear as if your always in play and then she will want to compete for your "business". Last edited by Vada Fae; 23-July-04 at 10:10 PM..

23-July-04, 09:28 AM		#9 (permalink)
Darksamurai Sam-Hoe-rai N-Hoe-mad	I'm telling her sister to lose my number... as far as I know, she's the only one who has it. I keep thinking about the thousand little things I should have noticed. She doesn't love me, and she never will... time isn't gonna change that. As it is, I'm not lettin' anyone close to me for awhile... To top it off, I'm putting in my two weeks notice in at work within the next couple days probably. I'm seriously burned out (didn't take long)... Job doesn't bother me so much, it's the amazing amount of procedures to get anything done. I'm sick of the pressure. I'd already decided that a few days ago... I've finally narrowed it down. Time to start over again. Last edited by Darksamurai; 23-July-04 at 09:36 AM..

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Email this Page
Display Modes
Linear Mode Switch to Hybrid Mode Switch to Threaded Mode

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
The Register // CDs, chocolate, and cigarettes dumped in favour of phones	Gizmo	The Register RSS	0	15-April-07 06:30 AM
Girl gets dumped live on the radio	j-dogg	Anything Goes	12	15-January-07 09:58 PM
The Register // 'Sexist' Austrian urinals dumped on eBay	Gizmo	The Register RSS	0	03-November-06 09:42 PM
The Register // ID thieves pumped then dumped on brokerage houses	Gizmo	The Register RSS	0	26-October-06 07:07 PM
The Register // Prosecutor leaves crime files on dumped PC	Gizmo	The Register RSS	0	08-October-04 03:29 PM

23-July-04, 05:30 AM		#3 (permalink)
Darksamurai Sam-Hoe-rai N-Hoe-mad	Great... I'm learning. All the wonderous things I probably should have learned years ago, but I was busy being really antisocial. In between it was just sex, no relationship. Those work out okay, but they usually don't last. told that girl I wasn't gonna hold my breath for her call...

23-July-04, 07:26 AM		#5 (permalink)
-=XPS=- Banned	you mighta been too nice. do you knwo if she was mistreeted as a kid? she might have an inbeded need to be with a bad guy. using you as a back up would make sence for this, cuz if she got too chaotic with her bad guy, she would come back to you, but she needs chaos. just an idea.

23-July-04, 08:48 AM		#6 (permalink)
Fatsobob Apex's Squirrel Revolutionary	that sucks ds oh well, easy come easy go

23-July-04, 10:05 AM		#12 (permalink)
DuckWarrior Retired Admin In Charge of Death and Destruction to All those Who Oppose My World known as PimpRig	Vada is right. Most women go with the badboy. For women, its the knowlege that should something happen, youd be there to take care of it. Before you scoff at it or give a "yea, what the hell is that about?" Think about what men will do for a large chested woman. Usually do pretty stupid sheeit, and if you couldnt tell what size half of them were, you wouldnt give the beatch the time of day. As to what to do about this chick...Her loss, I know you Dave, if she doesnt have a clue as to what she is dropping, she aint worth your time. I spent a year with a chick trying to make something work, and you cant force puzzle pieces to fit. As to the Badboy myth. Its true, you have to give them the mystique. I spent years doing the "niceguy" thing. I mean, I was a nice guy. Shouldnt they notice its a better deal? Wakeup call!!! NO. If a chick has a trainwreck for a face, would you get to know her anyway? You should, but would you? I changed a lot of what I did with women, the easiest way to explain it would be having a "Devil may care attitude" around them. Never change who you are, modify how you SHOW them who you are. Go with your own things. I rock climb, bungie jump and work with explosives. Its easy to draw confidence from that aspect and apply it to another but you have to think about it. Women dont want to have a guy that kisses thier ass all the time. Think about that really geeky guy that runs around REALLY wanting to be your friend. Annoying isnt it? Or how about, If you were starving, there was a steak laying there, youd grab it fast right? What if it was on a table for you to take, but in the middle of a nice French Restraunt? Youd have to give the proper attitude and if you showed desperation youd lose it.....right? But, show the right attitude, never what you think you should, just appropriate, and its yours for the taking! Its not about changing who you are, just how you present the package. Put a leather Jacket on the attitude, but stay the same person. Dont ever break a date but "I have other plans" one day and not let on, keep it vague but not hidden...see the trend? This is the best I can give without overexplaining. Sometimes even the best cantidate just doesnt fit, just remember there are more women than men on this planet.

23-July-04, 10:36 AM		#13 (permalink)
Darksamurai Sam-Hoe-rai N-Hoe-mad	Duck... so it's like poker... you look excited, everyone is gonna fold... Oh well, I think I dodged a bullet with this one anyway (still hurts), but all in all... next time, I'll make more of an effort to be an ass in the future. Nice guy isn't working for me I guess. Seriously though, I think I'm just going to get comfortable with the fact I don't really need anyone. I was happier BEFORE this happened. Why the hell do I need another person in my life anyway... they take time, money and attention... I'm already waiting for my pets to die so I'll have greater freedom of movement. I don't think I'm willing to give anything anymore...

23-July-04, 10:40 AM		#14 (permalink)
CRE Apex Tech Maniac Supreme	Terribly sorry to hear the bad news. Yes, I too have to agree with Vada... Some of them (many of them) think something's wrong if you treat them well. It doesn't mean all's lost though. Sometimes it just takes the "nice" longer to sink into thier cranium than the blatant BS they're used to and expect.... if you're a jerk to them it has more impact on them emotionally I guess, so they figure that since they think about the jerk more often he must be a better match. There were several times I ended up in a long relationship with a girl who'd started things out with lines like the ones she fed you but came around shortly thereafter. My advise, if you honestly think you might still be interested, don't recoil.... don't act like a sick puppy when she calls either though. Just be yourself. She might come around. Once the shock of meeting "the world's only nice guy" wears off. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck with you future persuits.

23-July-04, 10:55 AM		#16 (permalink)
Anathema Apex Tech Demi-God	You've got a message in your inbox, Dark.. I'll tell you what, I never understood that whole "You're too nice" thing that I hear from a lot of my peers. The concept makes no sense to me. Though, I think some of the women who say that sort of thing might be afraid that they'd get too attached and end up hurt again in the end. Just a theory. Humans are a funny thing. Everybody does different things for their own reason. You just have to roll with the punches. Take care of yourself, Dark.

23-July-04, 11:35 AM		#17 (permalink)
stereomod Locked Account	yah im getting the general idea here that maybe it wasn't going to work out in the long run but just remember man "that there are plenty of fish in the sea" its a big world! who knows maybe you'll find another just like have and this time it might go all the way!! I hope yah didn't mention PR too much during the date??? that'll kill any date , or could i be wrong??? sorry to hear about the split bud, just taker easy for abit and work on some computers , that might help yah get it over her!!!

23-July-04, 12:38 PM		#18 (permalink)
SexyPants 5-Hoe-1 Jeans	DAMNIT, NO! NO NO NO! I was honestly getting so excited about the last couple of posts about her.... But yeah, about the whole "nice guy" thing, I think I've even heard a girl admit that she only likes jerks. But I'm pretty sure there are some out there don't, and those ones tend to be a lot smarter and a lot more interesting than the rest. That's the type of person I'm waiting for, or maybe that explains why I've been waiting so damn long.

23-July-04, 01:19 PM		#20 (permalink)
Spectrum Former GameApex Editor	XPS has 2 red rep bars!