Ok, this is WAY off subject, but I'm getting desperate. I'm in a MR. Valentine contest where it's all about how funny you can me. It's like a regular pageant but it's guys trying to be funny. Anyways, I'm in this and I need to come up with some funny answers before tomorrow! Anything would help! Here are the questions:

1. What is your favorite thing to do in your spare time?
2. What person do you most admire and why?
3. What really annoys you?
4. Who would you most like to meet and why?
5. If you had only one more day to live, who would you spend it with and what would you do?
6. You have just been informed that you have won 1,000,000 dollars. What will you do with it?
7. What is your greatest accomplishment?
8. What extra-curricular activities do you participate in?

Try to make them as funny as you can. THANKS!

for number 6, buy 1010101 $.99 toys and throw them at hobos for hours and hours of fun!

Good, I might be able to use that in some way. Any thing else?

1. What is your favorite thing to do in your spare time?
2. What person do you most admire and why?
3. What really annoys you?
4. Who would you most like to meet and why?
5. If you had only one more day to live, who would you spend it with and what would you do?
6. You have just been informed that you have won 1,000,000 dollars. What will you do with it?
7. What is your greatest accomplishment?
8. What extra-curricular activities do you participate in?

1) Myself
2)
3) Wood
4)
5)
6)
7) 6 beers, 22 seconds!!!
8)

Granted these only work well with a straight face.

No...these are answers that I don't answer while on stage, but things they read while I'm walking around. Like...."His favorite thing to do in his spare time is to eat potatoe chips and relaxing on his sofa". Also, this is a high school thing, so the 6 beers thing probably wouldn't be a good thing.

1. What is your favorite thing to do in your spare time?

'What'? You mean 'who'.....

5. If you had only one more day to live, who would you spend it with and what would you do?

I would spend it with Gordon Freeman. We would play Half-Life all day

I don't think I can use the What? Who? one for obvious reasons. And I don't think anyone would get the Gordon Freeman one. Doesn't anyone know any good answers? This would really help!

1. What is your favorite thing to do in your spare time?
Sit in the swimming pool filled with green jello eating BLTs.

2. What person do you most admire and why?
George Bush because he is the most ignorant person in control of our country, and because he makes up his own words for really important speeches

3. What really annoys you?
Those dang sticky things on the edges of CDs and DVDs. You can never get the things off and if you do manage to get them off you have completely destroyed the original box/case that it came in.

4. Who would you most like to meet and why?
Happy Gilmore because he can play golf like a mad-man, and he can talk to crocidiles.

5. If you had only one more day to live, who would you spend it with and what would you do?
I would spend it with myself - I feel that I regularly don't spend enough time with myself, but if I had one more day to live I would be able to do anything and so I would spend it with me.

6. You have just been informed that you have won 1,000,000 dollars. What will you do with it?
Through a $1,000,000.00 going out party in honor of [insert name of person here].

7. What is your greatest accomplishment?
So far to date my greatest accomplishment was going to Wal-Mart and buying my socks all buy myself. To make things even better, I drove myself too.

8. What extra-curricular activities do you participate in?
Napping, power-napping, cough potatoing, vegging, and my all time favorite, snacking.

Best I could do for spur of the moment answers, I hope you like at least one or two.
Oh, and best of luck in that pagent thingy.

1. Pudding
2. Saddam Hussein, I wish i had a hole...
3. Mother in law, old bitch
4. Jesus, dam jew owes me five bucks.
5. I would spend it with myself, I love myself... wife can piss off.
6. two chicks at the same time.
7. Windows hasn't crashed yet
8. retard boxing

Quote: Originally Posted by Slick2145 What extra-curricular activities do you participate in? Napping, power-napping, cough potatoing, vegging, and my all time favorite, snacking.

Wow! Slick, have we met of something? It's freaky the way you know me so well. With your permission I would like to, hence forth, use this answer as both a sig and in any computer dationg profiles.

Ferdstar, Sorry man, I tried, but the high school thing kinda kicks me out of the race... Good Luck!

Damn, I thought the 6 beers in 22 seconds and the Gordon Freeman thing were GD hilarious....
Might have to bring in BZA in here.

Quote: Originally Posted by CRE Wow! Slick, have we met of something? It's freaky the way you know me so well. With your permission I would like to, hence forth, use this answer as both a sig and in any computer dationg profiles. ...

CRE that is kool with me as long as there is some type of note to it. (Have to protect my work! )

Quote: Originally Posted by NoSlak Damn, I thought the 6 beers in 22 seconds and the Gordon Freeman thing were GD hilarious.... Might have to bring in BZA in here.

Thanks! It was a toss up between that and defeating the local midget cage wrestling champ at checkers.... the beer thing was more recent.

Quote: Originally Posted by NoSlak Damn, I thought the 6 beers in 22 seconds and the Gordon Freeman thing were GD hilarious.... Might have to bring in BZA in here.

Hmmm, im fatter....ahem.....flattered.

1. What is your favorite thing to do in your spare time?
- Practice my parents signatures for my detention slips. I almost got it!

2. What person do you most admire and why?
- My mom. Anybody who could think my dad was ever "sexy" must be a saint!

3. What really annoys you?
- When people say I look like my dad.

4. Who would you most like to meet and why?
- My real father. Or... The guy who designed Sadams hole. Brilliant!

5. If you had only one more day to live, who would you spend it with and what would you do?
- My "Aunt Flo". My mom says that she visits my sister once a month, but I always seem to miss her. I would spend all day catching up and talking about why she always makes my sister mad and cranky.

6. You have just been informed that you have won 1,000,000 dollars. What will you do with it?
- Buy enough underwear so that I would never have to wear the same pair twice. Maybe socks too if I had enough left over. This may however tap into my toilet paper budget.....but that seems to be a problem that solves itself!

7. What is your greatest accomplishment?
- that last answer..... that is my greatest acomplishment..... I dont think I have ever seen anything funnier. It must be all down hill from here.

8. What extra-curricular activities do you participate in?
- Like I said a minute ago, ive blown my wad on funny answers, so im just gonna ask...whats "extra-circular" mean? Like, what do I do thats "super round"? I dont get it.

Damn BZA! Now them's some good answers! ROFLMAO

F'ing Great BZA!
My greatest accomplishment is creating a sport that involves Orangatangs with paint ball guns riding Llamas playing a fast paced version of Arena Football.

BZA.... that was HILARIOUS! You rock, man.

lol, thanks!

That thing about Aunt Flo, i totally made that up on the spot. I sat back and thought....thats really funny.

Glad u enjoyed it.

Rofl...those are some nice ones there. Now if we could get some input from DS, his humour is almost always a success!