Wordbiker

New Member's Guide to Forum Etiquette

With all the misunderstanding, flaming of "noobs", and general discord that can happen in any forum, I thought that a guide to effective online communication would be very useful to a lot of folks out there. Call it a guide to online etiquette from my own personal experiences, both good and bad. This also comemmorates my 1000th post at Pimprig.

My personal introduction to online communication was in MSN Chat...yeah, back when it was still free. I loved the freedom of being able to express myself again in text after not having done so in the many years since high school (as much as I hate to admit the stereotype, carpenters are not generally known for their eloquent textual or verbal repartee...and that's a sadly accurate assumption). At first, I had a hard time feeling like I fit in as there seemed to be many unwritten rules, expectations, jargon, and language shortcuts I didn't understand. They were different in every environment, chatroom, instant messenger, newsgroup, or forum. I soon learned that although there are plenty of honest folks that just want to share their lives, there's just as many out there that get their only thrill in life by making others miserable. These predators love the anonymity of the internet and use it to take advantage of more trusting folks, to humiliate them to make themselves feel better about their own miserable lives. Once I got over my fears of public "speaking", I was able to discern the real, honest people from the jerks and felt comfortable enough to be honest and open about myself. ThatÂ’s when the world opened up for me (heck, I even met my bride online!). It didn't even seem to matter that I can't type! (I'm an old dog and still can't...and yes, this entire post was hunt-and-pecked). I learned after several harsh lessons what the unspoken rules were and really, they can be summed up the same as in face to face relationships: Common sense and common decency.

For the situations in which that credo is tough or impossible to apply, I have assembled the following list of scenarios and tips to get through them as unscathed as possible:

Technical Forums = Terminology and Jargon.

Whether it is cars, computers, fishing gear, or scrapbooking, technical forums can really give a helping hand...or be utterly daunting. In my experience, learning to blah-blah the lingo is the first step in understanding a different culture or subculture. Learn the words and terms being used and everything else will make a lot more sense later as you begin to fit those terms together in context. You don't need a full grasp of the entire computing process to ask a question about a CD-ROM but you do need to know by what terminology a CD-ROM is described (pssst, it's the drink holder thingie). Find out what type, brand, and model it is to ask more specific questions, such as what the best firmware is...and more importantly, to get specific and useful answers.

Smile Sparingly

One of the first common sense lessons is that text communication lacks the intonations that express emotions in voice communication. This can cause problems and confusion for many people...until they discover good use of emoticons, or smileys. While it can add color and express conversation more poignantly, they aren't absolutely necessary and can be used to excess, annoying those that have mastered them (as well as slowing page load times). Simple rule here: If adding an emoticon doesn't improve the clarity of what you are trying to communicate, then it doesn’t. If what you have written can be taken more than one way by the reader, by all means, clarify with an appropriate emoticon. ‘Tis better to give a real smile by your wise posting than any .gif image.

A Picture is Worth 1000k of Bandwidth

Since I started my online experience in the days before broadband (my honest condolences to those of you still on dialup), I dealt with limited bandwidth quite a bit. Also being limited in the speed of my typing, I learned that it is crucial to get your point across in as few words as possible. To convey information on certain subjects, a picture is indeed worth a thousand words....or several minutes of download time on a slow connection. Limit your picture posting to a minimum that conveys your message and before submitting any, check the forum rules regarding maximum allowed sizes and edit the pics accordingly. This is not only a courtesy to those lesser-endowed with bandwidth, but will also be more likely to be viewed and considered by those too lazy to scroll. The forum will also appreciate the wise use of their bandwidth and give you a cookie (and a pat on the head).

Strive for Universality

Whether you are an aspiring writer or just need to get a question answered to solve a problem, keep a writer's mindset and consider whom you are communicating with. You don't speak the same way to pals in the locker room that you do to your granny, or the same way with an attorney that you do with a lover; yet, there are words one can choose to communicate effectively with them allÂ…and theyÂ’re NOT the four-letter ones. Try to make yourself understood by anyone at all reading what you are saying and you are less likely to be misunderstood or offensive and more likely to receive the answers or praise you seek.

Consider the Venue

If you are posting in a forum for specific advice and not paying for it, remember this: These people are not your employees. From my own experience, the people that participate in forums of this nature do it out of an honest desire to help others learn and to enable them to help themselves. Please, treat them as the kindhearted folks that they are, or at least give them the benefit of the doubt until they prove otherwise. No one is paying them and they are not by any means required to answer your every question. Being nasty and talking down to someone that is volunteering their expert advice can turn even the kindest of souls into Trolls. Do this and you deserve the flame job you will receive. If the advice you get does not solve your problem, or if the response is not timely, consider that you do get what you pay for, but play nice and be respectful with people and you will often get more...perhaps even making some friends along the way.

Watch Out for Trolls

Trolls are nasty, mythical and territorial creatures that hang out under bridges and harass passersbyÂ’s...and Trolls are also the type of people previously mentioned that make themselves feel superior to others by pointing out their lack of knowledge. Often times, Trolls do know their stuff (which is how they gained a prominent status on a given forum)...they'll just make you pay for it in humiliation. Don't let this get your goat. Trolls thrive on upsetting you with as few words as possible...it's a game to them, how they seek out prey. Angry responses to trolls will play you right into their game and considering that you came to a gunfight with a knife to begin with by crossing "their" bridge with a need for knowledge...the better choice is to keep walking, and keep your goat.

For Effective Communication, Try English

This includes proper grammar, spelling, sentence structure, punctuation, and word usage. Yeah, yeah, I sound like your English teacher, but it's true. English is such a complex and colorful language that it is entirely too easy to be misunderstood even when spoken, even more so when written without inflection. This is also a matter of respecting your intended audience, and garnering respect for yourself and your own intelligence. If you're posted message reads like a Counterstrike chat session, you may want to go over it again or risk coming off as a smacktard. If your difficulties are due to English not being your native language, state it openly. You will find that most folks will be glad to help out anyone willing to learnÂ…and slam anyone that should know better but is too lazy to even try.

Be Lazy! Research It First!

This may be the most common mistake made, period. Search engines can lead you to a wealth of information...and into a lot of annoying sucker traps and false leads. Don't be a sucker. Learn to use your favorite search engines well and you will avoid the potential humiliation of having to publicly ask questions that will point out your obvious lack of knowledge. Be very specific in your search terms and keywords, and use advanced features to filter out the garbage. You will often find the exact information you need much faster than asking anyone, and if you did ask, that's all they'd likely do anyway. It's OK, even the most intelligent and knowledgeable people use them frequently (and pssst, they're often lazy too, but that's why they seem so smart ). This is also valid for forum search engines, as often times, the exact question you intend to ask has already been asked, discussed, and answered thoroughly before. If you persistently ask people to be your own personal Google without at least attempting to look first yourself, you will never gain the skills to pass yourself off as anything other than an annoying lazy slacker. Well, youÂ’re not oneÂ…are you?

Curb Your Emotions

Depending on how "into it" you are, online communications can be incredibly emotionally involving. Just as a great book can draw you in, make you think deeply, feel happy, or even cry, so can internet discourse. One thing to consider about this though is that a book often derives this emotional sway from your own imagination filling in the blanks. How often have you heard the expression, "The book was SO much better than the movie"? That is because of what YOU "read into it", coloring it with your own experiences, identifying with the characters...and is completely different from someone else's impression of the very same book. So, before you go getting all butt-hurt or pumped-up about something posted in your favorite forum/chatroom/whatever.....think of how foolish you'll look if you react with emotion that no one else feels or relates to. Take it with a grain of salt or pop a chill pill before hitting that send/submit button and save yourself some grief.

You're a Genius, and So Are They

Yes, you are a genius....in your given niche. You have mastered certain aspects of your own existence to a degree that no one else on this planet has. You deserve to be and should be proud of your accomplishments, but anyone else deserves that too. Keep this in mind before going out to validate yourself by pointing out every flaw in someone else, no matter what the subject. They may be a mere padawan to your Jedi mastery, but the Force flows through all of us, and ****iness comes from the Dark Side. It leads to losing hands and tremendous electrically-induced pain.

Imitation Is Not Only a Really Good Idea, itÂ’s Also the Sincerest Form of Flattery

Look at the posts that you understand well and that convey information efficiently. Like what you see? Good. You don't have to be a 14th level Zen webmaster to do the same thing. Look over the tools included with any forum format...and learn to use them. If someone posts something that looks really good using the same tools, ask how they did it. They'll be flattered that you asked (see Trolls if not) and be doing everyone a favor by helping you be a more respected and effective participant. The tools are put there for your benefit...use them to your best advantage.

Spam Begets Spam

You know what it isÂ…our modern replacement for junk mail and commercial television. Advertisements that weren't asked for, vying our attention for items of no interest to us, seem to fill our inboxes over and over and over again. Hate it? We all do...so don't do it. IMHO, one of the greatest assets of a home PC is that I get to decide (to some degree) what advertisements or information I see. This feeling of privacy is highly valued by just about all users. Before posting or sending information, take a second to reflect on whether what you are delivering will be welcomed, was warranted, or asked for. Don't give into the temptation easily to draw attention to yourself, no matter how cool, valid, accurate, important, or intelligent you (and perhaps you alone) it may seem, or even how desperately you may be seeking approval by posting uninvited info. Sure, most people will just tune it out if they've seen it, but expect about the same reaction as if you just knocked on someone's door to tell them about a great opportunity to buy the Encyclopedia Britannica series, for the low, low price of.....get the picture? You may get invited to dinner, a polite "No thank you", or a shotgun in your face, but keep in mindÂ…you knocked on their door.

Instant Messenger is NOT a 24/7 Key to the City!

Let's be real here, If you use an instant messenger of some sort or another, you must realize that it can be quite an effective means of communicating and quite occupying of one's time. Be considerate. If someone was kind enough to allow you on their list, don't use it as a beeper to tell them about every bowel movement your cat has with links to the pictures. Also, don't get peeved if the person you are chatting with seems to disappear. They have. They have a guest, the phone rang, their child asked them a question, they had a bowel movement of their own to attend to, someone with a great deal on encyclopedias just came to the door....you get the picture. If it says they're away, assume that they are (there is no "Piss Off!" option, sadly, though I know that wouldn't stop some chronic intruders and may even be considered an invitation) unless you really know betterÂ…or it's your Mom. Real life intrudes in on everyone. Even Furries have bills to pay, their own mouths to feed, and parentsÂ…although they may have a restraining order against contacting them.

Smiles Everyone, Smiles!

Yes, Mr. Rourke was an adminÂ…and Tattoo was a Troll. Forums are very much like that old Fantasy Island television show. When everyone involved stays within the boundaries of the established fantasies, everything works smoothly and the suspension of disbelief factor works as it should with the illusion complete and enjoyable by all. Forum scenarios take every bit as much effort to produce as the wildest of Mr. RourkeÂ’s mind games did and there is considerable time, pride, and effort invested in creating a given atmosphere. Take the time to appreciate and enjoy the detailed craftsmanship put into creating this just for you. Go along with it and play your part without criticizing any perceived errors and omissions and you are sure to have the time of your life. Try digging too deep or looking for flaws to point out and Mr.Rourke pops out from around a corner and kicks your booty off the island (also called banning). He can do thatÂ…itÂ’s his island and there are other visitors having a great timeÂ…donÂ’t ruin it for them.

I'm a Noob!

This is such a bad idea....posting right off the bat that you know nothing. The truth is you do know a lot. It just takes time for you to relax and observe enough to find out HOW you may contribute to an online community. Don't handicap yourself right out of the gate or put yourself into a position of vulnerability to Trolls, or they'll tell you just how little you know in minute detail soon enough (they're lying and baiting you). If you act like a victim, you will become one.

If IÂ’ve Told You Once, IÂ’ve Told You 1000 TimesÂ…

Mistakes are made by the best of us. One of the most common is the glitch of posting more than once due to a “stuck” browser. That can be understood, but posting the same question or subject more than once cannot. In forums specifically, it is considered rude, and if you engage in the practice of posting multiple threads to get more “exposure” because no one is answering the first one, expect about the same response as a child saying to Mommy, “I want a cookie!, I want a cookie!, I want a cookie!, I want a cookie!” You may actually receive your cookie, but it’s only to shut you up and you will gain no respect this way. Trolls have even crueler techniques for dealing with this behavior. Don’t find out what they are. If no one answers your question right away, they either don’t know the answer, or you may want to consider that it wasn’t really worth asking in the first place.

I truly hope that if youÂ’ve read this far you have gained an inkling of how forums work, the personalities involved, and perhaps even gained a few tools to protect yourself and produce good works to share with your fellow human beings (and some that are merely humanoid). Forums are always looking for more good contributors and really, it doesnÂ’t matter if what you are presenting is strictly applicable to a given forumÂ’s premises as long as youÂ’re a good citizen about it. Students are as welcome as teachers, but making the effort to spit out the gum and resisting the urges to carve on the desks and shoot spitballs will not only keep you out of the principalÂ’s office, it will allow you to stay in class long enough to go on the field trip to the candy factory. YAY!


Wordbiker

(My thanks to our Pimp writer Rob for his editorial help in getting this guide together, as well as godfoot for his encouragement and help with the formatting. You are truly brother Pimps.)