I'm usually a happy drunk... I ****ed up in training with the company I work with a couple years back though...
I'm a lightweight, and I tried to keep up with our corporate trainer... I didn't really know what an AMF was, but I learned quickly as I went from kicking his ass at darts to hitting to floor and propping myself against the wall to do it.
I remember part of the night... He was hitting on the girl at the window at "Weinershnitzel" (or however the hell you spell that) and I was telling him to "Shut the **** up, he was married and to drive us back to the damn hotel 'cause I was going to be sick in his car, or in my room... whatever he preferred... I remember cussin' him out good...
One of four times I've ever been drunk in my life. I didn't even think I was going to get drunk, but we had gone to a bunch of places I couldn't find anything to eat at (Vegans don't do well at seafood restuarants). So basically, I was operating off of an empty stomach and the alcohol snuck up on me and clubbed me hard. I went back to my room... part of corporate policy is that we have roommates. Mine managed to narc me out for coming in drunk off my ass, and I spent about an hour throwing my guts up in the only bathroom me had...
I then called my girlfriend... I don't remember most of the conversation, but she said I was extremely polite (almost comically so), and it was cute. So... I guess I did okay there!
Still... never woke up in jail, and I sure hope I never do!
Add: Richard, sorry about your mom man... my parents are turning into medical nightmares themselves and I know it isn't easy..